[MajestyJo]

Well for one thing, I figure an alcoholic is an alcoholic. Some go down to the dump and some if they are lucky, get off early before they get there. Being a little bit alcoholic is like being a little bit pregnant.

If you try to analyze the program, you are sure to find fault if you go looking for them. After all it was 1934 and this is 2017, and we alcoholics in today l
know better than the alkies back then. We not only drink, but we do pot and pill maintenance, and then if that stops working we go onto bigger stuff and play with the big boys. It doesn't matter that they die a little faster these days, we can't give them something to believe in and they can't believe in themselves.

It is really sad when we compare instead of identify. It kept me sick for a long time. People told me, if I drank like you did, I would still be drinking. Another favorite was, "I spilled more than you drank." This past week from my son, "Mother in all my years (51) I have never seen anyone who could drink like you could. He said he never saw me drunk. Which means, he never saw me sober. Pills were like dried up alcohol for me. I had to recognize that I had both in my system. Even in the early days, I took 2 - 222 tablets with my last drink so I wouldn't wake up with a hang over.

We all have our own story and our own walk. It doesn't matter what Bill did, he got this program started. He didn't have all the ESH that we have in today. So what he asked for a drink on his death bed. What does an alcoholic do to take away the pain. He drinks. If he follows Bill's and Dr. Bob's program, and take from them what we need to make our own program, we don't have to drink and drug in today.

The program is not the Big Book. It is but a guide line, for me, I got more help in my recovery from the 12 & 12. but that is me. I am not a Big Book thumper, for me it is good for identification. Two long timers who go to my AA group, one has 23 years and the other 43 years and they say, "The program is one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic."

We know a lot more now in today, and yet we still drink, or at least I use to. I am grateful that on August 21st I will be 26 years clean and sober. I will celebrate in AA on the 24th of August and in NA on the 25th of August. I always knew I was an addict, my drug of choice was always more. My denial was about being an alcoholic, so that is why I went to AA. It took me two years in AA, not drinking, but going to meetings to get Step One 100% I had a dream and saw myself as other people saw me when I was drinking. I wasn't exactly the lady I thought myself to be. I used alcohol like I used other people, places and things. When I share my story at a meeting, I always say, "Hi my name is JoAnne, and I am an alcoholic. My drug of choice is more and besides alcoholic I was addicted to men, pills, men, food, men, work, met, etc.

I don't have a drinking problem in today. But I sure do have a thinking problem especially when I think I am the power and the source. For me it is to be willing to be willing, to get what ever I need to stay sober in today. For me to use is to die, whether it is alcohol or say cigarettes which would kill me faster.

Thanks for sharing with me.