Helping Dad
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
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When we moved into our new house 15 years ago, the dishwasher wasn't working. My mother would occasionally come over to watch my 2 sons, then 8 & 9. After awhile we replaced the broken dishwasher. The next time my mother came over she had given some snacks to the boys. After they ate, she proceeded to wash the dishes by hand. My 8 year old looked at her and said "Grandma, we have a new dishwasher, we don't need an old one".
To this day my mother still repeats the story.
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Wedding rings do help turn night owls into homing pigeons.
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Baloney is flattery so thick it cannot be true; blarney is flattery so thin we like it.
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There are more men than women in mental hospitals - which just goes to show who's driving who crazy.
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Jack and Sue have a nip-and-tuck marriage. He takes a nip, and she tucks him in.
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Mary Jane claims she's just turned thirty--it must have been a U turn.
