[MajestyJo]

Material I posted on another on the topic of Step Two.

In Step One, I came to the doors of recovery, in Step Two, I came to.

I was very sick when I got here, I also thought I had seen and heard everything and there was nothing new under the sun.

I came to realize that the program would work for me. I came to realize that God was an old tape like everything else in my life.
I came to realize that I need to open my mind, listen and learn. More importantly, I needed to learn to listen. I heard many alcoholics and addicts, young and old who had their own understanding of God and I realized that I had to find my own and went on a spiritual journey.

They say we don't get this Step all at once, and this was how it was for me. I was one year sober when I realized I didn't know what God meant to me. It was the beginning of my spiritual journey.

Over the years my mind has opened to many new things and I have come to believe that God is all things. When I limit God with my narrow outlook then I limit Him/Her/It as to how much my life can change and grow.

In Step Two I received hope and learned to open my mind to a new way of living and change.

When I came into recovery, I knew there was a God and I didn't believe I was insane.

At a year sober, I didn't know who God was, and I knew I was insane.

What is sanity? I have a Canadian Dictionary and Thesaurus and it doesn't have the word in it.

Insanity means mentally deranged, crazy, madly, excessively. Sounds like a lot of my thinking and actions when I was using.

Everything was in excess, and if it wasn't, I blew it up so it was. The smallest thing was a big deal. When I got sober, I remember telling my cousin that I had discovered the concept of one day at a time. Her husband said, "Doesn't everyone live that way?"

Even when I am not using, I can slip into that insanity when dealing with life. I am so grateful that my program can take me out of there. The longer I stay sober, the crazier I get. Not like the insantiy of when I was using, but in away where I enjoy life and better still, enjoy the things I missed out on, like my childhood.

It is up to me 'the adult' to give the child within all the love and attention she never got. To give her the fun and laughter and the ability to be able to laugh at herself and know it is okay.

To give her the knowledge that it is okay to do silly things, make mistakes and let her know she isn't a mistake or stupid.

They say we should become as little children, to find the belief and faith that works.

Step Two is about a power, a force working in my life, doing for me what I could not do for myself.

Over the years, I have learned to tap into many power sources. The greatest being my Creator and what I call the Spirit of the Universe.

For me it isn't the people in the rooms, but the power of the people in the rooms gathered together for a common good to help each other.

A meeting is what I call a 'God Village.' A spirit within each person present, bonded together with a common goal. Sobriety for me is soundness of mind. It doesn't matter what substance takes me away from that state, what is important is that I find a source that can bring me back or keep me in a place of serenity and at peace with myself and those around me.

The God of my understanding is loving, caring, honest, has a great sense of humour, forgiving, and most of all my best friend. My confidant and advisor, who shows me the way to stay clean and sober. Who helps me to live in today, drop the past, and plan for a new tomorrow.