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March 6

Step by Step

Today, should I hear myself or another AA say the program isn’t working, grant me the humility to be open to the possibility that maybe it is I who isn’t working. I need only to see the countless alcoholics who have recovered without drinking again to know that the problem may be with ME and not the program. Let me not find excuses in the indefensible to rationalize or justify a pending wet or dry drunk, like I am lonely, I have lost too much, no one likes me, I don’t feel anything when I drink or I’m still traumatized by the mustache my mother got when she went through menopause – all excuses. If the program isn’t working for me, maybe I’m not working the program and I need only to fall back on the very first four words of the 12 step to tell me that I’m not working:“Admitted (I was) powerless …” Today, I admit that I am powerless. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PATIENCE

How poor are they that have not patience.

~ Shakespeare ~

Patient people do not simply stand and suffer. They are busy carefully planning what positive thing they will do next.

It is simple to start demanding wisdom right now. But patience is teemed with acceptance. One doesn’t happen without the other. Wisdom comes with acceptance, and that takes patience. We can’t demand it. We can only accept it.

Patience does not tell us, “grin and bear it.” It does remind us that if we resist acting rashly, all answers will come, in God’s time, not ours. Patience promises rewards for tomorrow and nourishes a desire for change if we give progress ample time.

Patience insists that I make real instead of false starts at growth. It tells me that my greatest teacher is time. I must act only when my plans are well constructed.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.

~ Native American proverb ~

Much of what we learn on this path comes from others also making their way. We go to meetings and listen to their reflections and their stories and we say, that’s like me. When neighbors or friends at work tell us about their lives, we often gain insight about our own. Sometimes we think, I guess I didn’t have it so bad. By being a good listener, we may get encouragement to stay on the path.

It’s an honor to have others disclose to us what they have been through. And it’s a trust that we ought to respect. Listening with an open heart isn’t always easy. It doesn’t mean that we simply sit there while others talk. It means that we engage actively to perceive what they are telling us and to understand how they came to feel and think as they do. When we put our ego aside, we stop thinking about what we will say in response; we stop trying to offer helpful advice or a better answer. We just take in what they are trying to tell us.

Today I will actively engage as a good listener.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

~ Isak Dinesen ~

Sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others in this program helps to clarify for all of us the miracle of recovery. Telling another woman how we survived the most awful of experiences lets her know that her life is survivable too. It’s not by accident that the founders of AA stressed the value of telling our stories.

Each time we share an aspect of our own traumatic past, its sting is diminished. The more we repeat these awful truths, the less their hold on us. Our storytelling lets our listeners know that their own experiences are not so different after all.

What lucky women we are. No longer do we hide ourselves from others. Each conversation with a sponsor, sponsee, or friend is an opportunity to lighten our load.

I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be freed from it!

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning how to break my pattern

Sometimes a less healthy voice in me still runs through to old lines: If I drink enough, I can stop my troubling thoughts. I’ll have a hangover the next day, but at least the thoughts will be gone for a while. I don’t like being hungover, but I can’t stop feeling so trapped inside my head.

In the midst of an episode with my dual disorder, it’s hard to hear the voice of my higher power. But on a day like today, when I’m thinking clearly, I hear healthy messages like these: Be sure to take your medication faithfully. Try a relaxation exercise. Call a friend and go for a walk. But whatever you do, don’t drink – it makes things worse in the long run.

I will write down two steps I can take to help me avoid using when I’m having symtoms.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

~ John Donne ~

In active addiction we were lost and alone. We couldn’t trust anything or anyone, especially ourselves. No place was safe for us; no people were safe for us. The loneliness was the worst of it. There was no one to talk to, perhaps no one who wanted to talk to us. Our self-esteem was so fragile we couldn’t trust people to be gentle enough, so we simply avoided them. With no belief in a Higher Power, our spiritual lives were empty, bankrupt.

In recovery, though, all that has changed. Our newfound spirituality has opened a whole universe to us. We’ve reconnected with ourselves, our Higher Power, other people, and the world itself. Suddenly we belong here and we’re safe here. The world is no longer a lonely and frightening place. Now, it’s a loving place filled with people worthy of respect.

As we learn to love ourselves better, we love others better, too. As we earn our own trust, we feel safer trusting the goodness of others. Empowered and enlightened by our recovery, we can recognize people, places, and things dangerous to that recovery. We can forgive them for being as they are but choose to be different. Now, we’re connected to the universe, and it’s connected fo us.

Today help me appreciate my place in the world. Help me be worthy of it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

~ Faith Baldwin ~

Think of the time-related devices you possess. You probably own at least one wrist watch. You have calendars in your office and home. Your car, your cell phone, and your computer display the time. All of these devices have value. They help keep your day organized, provide you with vital reminders of appointments and commitments, and generally keep you focused throughout the day.

Recovery provides a measurement of time that has similar value in your life: one day at a time. This twenty- four-hour plan utilizes a calendar with just a single day on it with only one to-do item: stay clean and sober.

While your goal is to never drink or drug again, to say that you will give up drinking or drugging forever presents a daunting stretch of time. Too, it provides you with little opportunity to measure your progress. But if, instead, you use the twenty-four-hour plan—if you say, “just for today, I will not drink or drug”—you have a greater chance of success. You will be more focused on your goal and more capable of effectively measuring your progress at the end of the day.

Just for today, I will not drink or drug. I will use the twenty- four-hour plan to provide me with the framework for this achievement.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It used to be that, if I had a good working day, I thought I was a wonderful person, but otherwise I thought I was a terrible person.

~ Byron Janis ~

How often are we buoyed up by successes and achievements, only to be let down on an unsuccessful day? If we do well or have a good day, then we may feel we’re good people. But if our day has gone badly or we’ve made a mistake, then our self-image becomes negative and critical.

No matter what happens, no matter what our achievements, we’re still good people inside. No one can be wonderful all the time. A good day on the job doesn’t mean we’re good, and a bad day doesn’t mean we’re bad.

We can look at our self-image and see how we really feel. Then we can remember we are good, no matter what we feel. We may not be who we want to be; we may not act the way we want to act; we may not live the way we want to live. But we have the power to change all those things as long as we look inside and see the way we are. We are good inside.

How do I see myself? Tonight, I can look within and ask for the courage to see good.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Feeling desperate

When we were drinking and using chemicals, we became accustomed to waking up to a feeling of impending doom, that desperate feeling of “What did I do or say yesterday?” and “What did people think?”

Even though we’ve quit using drugs or alcohol, sometimes, even after a good day, many of us continue to experience this feeling. It is a bad habit that is gradually eliminated simply by time and by rationally thinking over the previous day.
Am I learning to handle such feelings of desperation?

Higher Power, help me feel enough peace of mind to look at things rationally and to help me avoid being led into feelings of desperation by old habits.

If I feel desperate today, I will handle it by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The place I really have to reach is where I must already be.

~ LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN ~

Newcomer

I heard someone share that she’d always thought of smoking marijuana as her big, secret problem. Once she stopped smoking pot, it didn’t take long for her to recognize that alcohol was another problem, in fact the major one. Now, in addition to AA, she goes to meetings for overeaters, and she says she also has problems with codependency. What should I make of all this? I think I may have more than one addiction; should I be going to another program, too? Am I going to spend the rest of my life just going from meeting to meeting?

Sponsor

I don’t blame you for feeling upset at the thought of a lifetime of nothing but program-hopping. Who wouldn’t? Many of us do have multiple addictions. Everyone’s story is different. Some cross-addicted people find the tools and principles of one primary program sufficient for dealing with whatever addiction issues come up for them. Others gratefully avail themselves of the abundance of specialized programs of recovery.

Whichever we decide, most of us need a solid foundation in sobriety before considering a second program. Today, you’re right where you should be, establishing a sober routine. That’s a big change in itself, and it’s bringing about still more changes. For now, why not keep your focus on staying with what you’ve begun so well. In time, more will be revealed.

Today, I take the time I need to strengthen the roots of my recovery. I choose to branch out in new directions when it is clearly appropriate.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Few of us have any real direction to our conduct. We live from day to day, taking care of our problems as they arise, and this is sound AA advice as regards our long-range thinking and planning. This does not mean that we should take this too literally and give absolutely no thought to tomorrow’s needs.

It is absolutely true that tomorrow may never be born, but, on the other hand, it might, and in that event a well filled refrigerator will come in mighty handy.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) You are exactly where God wants you to be.

2) GOD: Give Over Decisions

3) Practice makes it better.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

New Day

Thank You, God, for today.
This is the beginning of a new day. I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever—leaving in its place something I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for today.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OPEN YOUR MIND

Have you an open mind? Is the window of your soul open for fresh air and the sunshine of Truth to come in, or is it closed and shuttered by mental laziness or the emotional congestion that we call prejudice?

None of us knows how many fine things we have missed through being self-satisfied and cocksure. No one can be considered really intelligent who does not have a readiness to examine new ideas with an open mind.

The history of scientific discovery shows that almost every new step was opposed by the very people who should have welcomed it.

Harvey was denounced for claiming that the blood circulated through the body; Galileo was persecuted for saying that the earth went round the sun; Pasteur was branded a quack for advancing the germ theory of disease; Jenner was threatened with the police for pioneering vaccination. The finality of the atom, which was a scientific dogma in the childhood of most of us, has been completely discarded.

Probably the only incorrigible fool is the man who says that anything is impossible, or that there is any limit to the conquests that divine Intelligence working in mankind can achieve.

The Lord is able to give thee much more than this (2 Chronicles 25:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Masters All

Don’t bunt. Aim out of the ballpark. Aim for the company of the immortals.

~ David Ogilvy ~

One of the ways in which we hurt ourselves on the spiritual path is to define ourselves as seekers, students, or addicts. For a time, we are, of course, looking and learning. After that, however, we must acknowledge the truth of our wholeness.

Everyone on the planet is a master of something. The question is not “Are you a master?” but “What are you a master of?” As godly beings, we have the ability to succeed at whatever we put our mind to. Humanity’s challenge is not that we lack the ability to succeed, but that we have applied our skills to things that hurt us.

I once hired a man who I did not know was a drug addict. I loaned him money that he hedged about repaying, and I gave him privileges he abused. When I confronted him, he manufactured some of the most convincing lies I have ever heard. I would go to him with facts that clearly pointed to his lack of integrity, and he would quickly and deftly come up with excuses that I believed. Eventually, he stole a few items and left without notice. In retrospect, I realized I was dealing with a master—a master liar! This fellow was also a master artist. He could have been a great success, but most of his energies went down the drain of his addiction.

Many of us have mastered drama, emergency, lack, worry, and sabotaged relationships. We are able to take a situation with great potential and find a way to undermine it—that is truly mastery! Now we must take the skills we have used to hurt ourselves and apply them to our healing. We must harness the force of intelligent love and build the life we choose rather than the one we fear. We must step forward with the magnificent, innate wisdom we were given and make the planet a heavenly place to live. All of this is clearly within our capacity. Let us manifest our mastery of the divine, which is what we came here to do.

Help me use my gifts to make my life and the world a magnificent place.

God has imbued me with greatness. I let it shine!