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November 16

Step by Step

“I remember the day when I decided to drink myself to death quietly, without bothering anyone, because I was tired of having been a dependable, trustworthy person for about 39 years without having received what I thought was a proper reward for my virtue. That was the day, that was the decision …when I crossed over the line and became an active alcoholic. …(w)ith a great sense of relief, I no longer had to pretend. I was giving up the struggle.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 531.

Today, when I crossed from compulsive to alcoholic drinking, was I “giving up the struggle” or giving in? Had I reached a point when I justified drinking because my ego had become so twisted that I thought other people, life itself, hadn’t appreciated me enough to give me my just due? For me, whenever I crossed the line between compulsive drinking and alcoholism, I was not “giving up the struggle;” I was giving in. But what difference does it make now? Whenever and whatever the force that drove me to alcoholism, AA tells me it matters only if it fits into my program to clear out the garbage, to reconcile my past with my present and my hopes for my future. And if, indeed, I was one of those who drank out of some deranged belief that I hadn’t gotten what I thought I deserved from people who didn’t praise me, perhaps now I should be grateful that I didn’t get what I deserved. Today, I am an alcoholic grateful to be in recovery. Why I became alcoholic doesn’t matter anymore because knowing the reason won’t “cure” me. But the program will. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BEAUTY

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

"Beauty" and "beautiful" doesn't just describe the outward appearance of people, places, and things. It also describes inner characteristics. Outer beauty may fade with time, but inner beauty can only grow. It shows in the thoughts, attitudes, and emotions we feel in ourselves and sense in others. It is a necessary part of our spiritual progress.

Beauty becomes a part of our lives when we learn to like who we really are. It is an "outward show of an inner glow."

Beauty also shows itself through good-will, gratitude, balance, and grace.

I need to remember that building inner beauty through humility, love, gratitude, and service is a necessary part of my spiritual growth.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Slump? I ain’t in no slump... I just ain’t hitting.

~ Yogi Berra ~

Flat times in our lives require a bigger perspective. Sometimes we can’t pinpoint what is wrong, except that we don’t have our usual spirit. We get up in the morning and life seems drab even while the sun smiles through the window. Other times we know that we have good reason to not be “hitting.” Ups and downs are natural parts of life.

In the past, we used alcohol, drugs, and other addictive behaviors to escape the feelings of a slump. We never allowed ourselves to feel sad, lonely, or empty, or to even get acquainted with what our feelings were all about. But in a healthy, more grown-up life we make room for slumps. We know they aren’t permanent, we can tolerate them, and we will feel better later.

We gain perspective by living through it. While walking along a rough path, keeping one eye on the middle distance helps to steady our balance. We know that we have felt better in the past, and we will feel better again.

Today I will stay on the path.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If you are truly calm, you stand a chance of surviving much, but calmness is intermittent with me.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

The calm we feel is proportionate to the faith we have in a Higher Power. Some days are calmer than others. Why does our faith waver?

We too easily dispense with the daily routines that can help us be at peace: spending a few moments alone, reading some words of wisdom, praying to our Higher Power for care and guidance. We have probably heard someone say, “If you feel far away from God, it’s not because God moved.” Is it our habit to rely on God for every solution? Do we believe that every experience can benefit us as long as we acknowledge God in it? Do we make it a practice to include God in every decision we make or action we take? When we can answer yes to all of these questions, we’ll discover that our faith no longer wavers. We’ll know that God is close and calm is upon us.

I am calm in the company of my Higher Power. Today will run smoothly.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can forgive myself

I want to learn to treat myself gently, as someone I love, not as someone I hate. I am proud of myself for beginning to change my life in the face of two illnesses. I know that in my heart I seek health and wholeness. But I can't persevere—I can't recover—if I keep cutting myself down.

In recovering from my disabilities, I am bound to make some mistakes. If I can look at them for what they really are—reminders that I need to do something differently—I can avoid more guilt or shame and be kinder to myself.

I will forgive myself for at least two mistakes I made today.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Listen and learn.

~ Anonymous ~

Our recovery program has helped us learn to listen. Before recovery we were focused on ourselves. When we talked to others our minds were often elsewhere. We learned how to look at others and nod our heads but our thoughts were really with ourselves.

Now that is changing. We listen to others, especially at meetings. We hear what they have to say. We feed our ideas back. We’re beginning to enjoy conversation.

Perhaps it is because we no longer feel like we have something to hide. Or perhaps it is because, when we were drinking and using, we did not want to hear what others were saying to us. In the past we needed to protect our secrets — even if they were only secret to us. Now we must protect our newly acquired openness.

As we become more open to others, we appreciate those who are open to us. To learn from others, we open our minds and hearts, but also our ears. In listening to others, we learn to care about them — and about ourselves, too.

Today I pray that I might always be willing to listen to those around me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Successful drug or alcohol recovery involves changing attitudes, acquiring knowledge, and developing skills to meet the many challenges of sobriety.

~ Dennis Daley ~

Twelve Step groups and self-help meetings are your greatest source of safety, security, strength, and support. Without such fellowships, understanding addiction and striving for abstinence would need to be done on your own. Even if you are new to recovery or to a particular meeting group, you will always feel welcome at a recovery meeting. The fellowship shares a common purpose and provides each member with a sense of belonging. By going to meetings and listening to the stories of others, you can hear a wide range of experiences that can be inspirational and beneficial in your own recovery.

Meetings are places to recognize and celebrate those who have conquered addiction for one day, one year, or decades. Seeing others who have overcome their addiction can inspire you and provide proof that sobriety is possible.

Listening to the stories of addicts offers the chance to reflect on the hardships of addiction and the ways in which your life was once spiraling out of control. Those who have relapsed and come back to the program provide valuable reminders about the downside of relapse.

I will keep in mind that a day without a meeting is like a day without sunshine.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

~ Christopher Fry ~

Those of us who continually strive for perfection may find we place incredible demands upon our-selves. One minute we're working toward serenity, and the next we're busy every night of the week. One minute we say we're going to sit down to read, and the next we're up cleaning the house, rushing from room to room in nervous energy.

Perfection places an incredible demand upon us to do everything right. But what is right? Is there a right way to do something and a wrong way?

The perfectionist in us is always looking for right, but we'll never find it. There really is no right way or wrong way to do anything. It's whatever way we choose. If we choose to try wearing the halo of perfection, we need to know it can be tarnished, tipped to the side, or misplaced every once in a while.

I'm no angel, that's for sure, because I'm not perfect. I'm still working on my halo and wings, and that's a lifelong process.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Finding the real world

Our old ideas were often based on misconceptions of how the world was treating us. These misconceptions don’t die easily, and it’s hard to realize that the evils of the world were not what made us suffer. We made ourselves suffer. Our aimless rebellion only led us farther down the road of destruction.

There can be no denying that our lifestyle contributed greatly to all the evils. We are reminded of the character who said, “I have found the enemy establishment pig, and he is me!” We come to this realization, and we’re suddenly aware of how beautiful the world is when we just let it be!

Have I found the real world?

Higher Power, if the world reflects what I see in myself, let me see love, beauty, and kindness.

I will explore the real world today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

For it is in dying that we find eternal life.

~ THE PRAYER OF SAINT FRANCIS, QUOTED IN TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS ~

Newcomer

A friend in recovery showed me a prayer by Saint Francis. Even though it's specific to a particular religion, I find it beautiful and inspiring, until it gets to the very end: "It is by dying that we find eternal life." I don't know what I believe about life after death, but I can't accept that we're supposed to renounce everything in this life or that happiness begins only with death.

Sponsor

Whether or not our religious beliefs include a literal interpretation of that last line, we can read it figuratively. "Dying" is something that can happen not just to our physical bodies, but also to our egos.

Everything in the prayer that leads up to that final statement is about letting go of ego gratification. When we pray to understand rather than to be understood, we're praying for the kind of maturity that a parent has: as good parents, we listen to children with compassion and good humor; we're confident enough of our own adult "turf not to have to defend it. We know, too, that offering unconditional love expands and fills our hearts far more than waiting, with a sense of neediness and deprivation, for love to be offered. If we "die" in this sense, letting go of our self-centered demands, then we waken to "eternal life": our souls wake up.

Our bodies don't have to die for this to happen; our self-centered fear does.

Today, I'm willing to let go of my ego so that I can become more open to the presence of a Higher Power in my life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We become too easily discouraged when the new man fails to make the grade. What we fail to keep before us is the fact that we are not accountable for the results of our efforts. We are only charged with the responsibility of carrying the message to other alcoholics.

Just go about your end of the job, which is sowing the seed, and if the ground is fertile, God in His good time will bring forth the harvest.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Then and Now

That was then—when my heart was drawn to evil. Every moment was a trap waiting for me. Every word spoken was a lie and hurtful. I felt only sadness and pain. My eyes saw nothing but darkness. My days were filled with despair and doubt.

This is now—my heart is filled with Your love. Every moment offers new opportunity. Words spoken are truthful and kind. I feel joy and warmth. I awaken to another beautiful day. My days are filled with faith and hope.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BEWARE THE DOG!

He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears (Proverbs 26:17).

If, when those around you are talking negatively about something or someone, you chip in with your contribution, you are taking a strange dog by the ears—so look out! If you get emotionally entangled in what is not your affair, through indignation, self-righteousness, hatred, or otherwise, you have seized the dog again—and he will bite. And even to think negatively concerning such matters in the secret chamber of your own heart, will bring you proportionate and natural punishment.

It is always right to think rightly about any person or situation, and if you do this many opportunities will come to you to help people practically, without any breach of law, and without coming near the dangerous dog.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

More Inside

Abundance is a blessing to the wise; the use of riches in discretion lies.

~ Richard Cumberland ~

“When entered the Peace Corps, I believed that if all the poor people in America had more money, their problems would be solved,” Annie told me. “Then, after living in the New York City ghetto for a year, I realized that what these people needed was not more money, but more consciousness. They needed to learn to handle the money they had; many of them would spend any additional funds they received on liquor, gambling, or things that would only hurt them more. Money is not the answer; the answer is wisdom, understanding, self-respect, and richer values.”

There is a theory that if all the money in the world were redistributed equally among every person on the planet, within six months all the money (or absence of it) would be exactly where it was before the redistribution. This is because each of us manifests not according to external conditions, but according to our consciousness. At every given moment, we are creating according to what we believe; if we wish to change our external circumstances, we must first change our awareness.

I read about a philanthropic program in which two wealthy women were offering seed funds to Third World women. Applicants would submit a basic business proposal to the organization, and if approved, they would receive several thousand dollars (a large sum by their standards) to start a business of their choice. If the business was doing well a year later, the applicants would receive another stipend. This system struck me as a wise use of green energy, for it encouraged users to make the most of their initial gifts and offered them the responsibility to expand their own world.

The answer to problems is not to get more of something from some–where else; it is to gain more inner awareness so you have the power to attract more of everything forever.

Give me the wisdom to use Your gifts properly.

I live in an abundant universe. My good proceeds from inside me.