[bluidkiti]

November 19

Step by Step

” …(T)he main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chance are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic’s drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 23.

Today, I will not waste time asking why I set out on the pattern of drinking that led me to where I am today. The answer is simple and obvious: I am an alcoholic. And if a gnawing question persists why I am an alcoholic, the answer probably lies in my Fourth Step. How many mornings, days and nights did I beat myself on the head with a hammer so I couldn’t feel the ache of physical, emotional and spiritual agony? In the program, I am armed with an arsenal to counter that agony, to focus not so much on how to live without alcohol but to recover in sobriety. Why did I set off that pattern of drinking that got me here, in this program? I am alcoholic. That simple. Today, I can deal with it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PROBLEMS HAPPEN

Today was rough, but that's O.K I used to have years that were rough.

~ Anonymous ~

Problems happen whether we are in recovery or not. Recovery does not guarantee us a life free from struggle, pain, or problems. It's not a direct flight to a magically safe place. When we got into our recovery program, the world did not stop and salute us. Recovery is about learning to exist in a world where crummy things can happen.

We are given tools that help us deal with life. The more we use the tools, the better we can live with life's realities and cope. The 12 Steps, good sponsorship, service work, and especially meetings are tools. Choosing a home group, having a sponsor, and attending meetings gives us an ever- present opportunity to handle problems and be with people who can help us. When we have problems and bad days, we no longer need to deal with them by ourselves.

When problems come and upset me, I have learned to get help and talk about them.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction> but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch.

~ James Baldwin ~

We don’t realize how attached we are to something until we lose it. Even our burdens can be the focus of our lives. When we have the affliction of addiction, we don’t want all the problems it creates: the financial woes, the disrupted relationships, or the sick and tired feelings. In our codependency we have relied on our ability to control situations and pick up the pieces after others messed up. But it’s very frightening to give up what was our escape. We wonder what we will do with our time and where we will turn for comfort.

Everything changes when we see this fear as a spiritual problem. In our addiction mode we responded from the impulsive part of our brain. Without rationality, we impulsively reached for comfort and pleasure. Now the spiritual path shows us a new alternative. Our fears about giving up our crutch are fears that we will not be safe and comfortable. With a relationship to the God of our understanding, we can rely on a Higher Power to care for anything we fear.

Today I will not impulsively react to my anxiety. Instead I will turn it over to my Higher Power and walk confidently forward.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Whenever I am blaming someone else, I find that I am just avoiding my own feelings of loss or grief.

~ Rose Casey ~

The desire to blame someone else for a troubling situation is strong at times. We may even seem obsessed by our need to blame. With maturity in the program, however, we are becoming willing to take responsibility for every part of our lives. It takes lots of time, but we need to remember that this is a program of progress, not perfection.

The connection between our losses and our desire to blame others is rarely clear at first. It’s not unusual for us to minimize our losses. In doing so we recognize at times a sadness or an ennui that we can’t explain. Our natural response is to blame our feelings on someone else.

Fortunately, we are learning that blaming others doesn’t make us feel better. The need to blame others will diminish when we learn that patience, along with practicing the principles of the program, will lift our spirits.

Today I will refrain from blaming anyone else for circumstances in my life. Taking responsibility may not be familiar, but I can start doing it in every part of my life and know that I will feel good doing so.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am enjoying a newfound balance

When my dual disorder was undiagnosed and untreated, I reacted sharply to my fluctuating moods. I used mood-altering chemicals to try to compensate. But I succeeded only in deepening my cycles and developing an addiction.

In recovery I feel as though I'm finally climbing off a teeter-totter. Instead of just reacting to changing moods, I am beginning to stabilize them and to maintain them. In the morning I exercise, meditate, eat, and go to work. In the evening I walk the dogs, eat, read or watch TV, talk to friends, and take my medication. At bedtime I pray. It's simple, it's structured, and it works.

I will thank my higher power for my progress and tell my group about my routines.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

~ Leonardo da Vinci ~

Just as you need to remember to “Keep it simple” in your recovery, so too is it important to keep your life simple. Having too many things to do or striving to effect too many changes at once can have a negative impact upon your focus and energy level.

Today you can resolve to simplify your life. Take a look at all of the things you want to accomplish and ask, “What is it that I really need to do right now?” By focusing on a few things rather than a long list of tasks, you will be better able to concentrate your time and energy on those things that are most important.

In your professional life, strive to limit the number of meetings or tasks scheduled in your day. If you feel over-burdened, ask your supervisor for guidance on how to prioritize your work load. In your personal life, take note of those who ask or expect too much from you and set limits with them, including the organizations and committees in which you are involved. Above all, strive to set aside time each day for yourself to experience peace, quiet, and relaxation.

By simplifying my life I will have more time, greater focus, and less stress.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Never accuse others to excuse yourself.

~ Anonymous ~

How many times have we blamed our feelings at the end of a day on the boss, co-workers, teachers, parents, or even the person who cut us off on the road? It's true we may feel anger or resentment toward any one of those people, but they didn't cause our feelings.

We are the sole owners of our feelings. We're the ones who bought them, and we're the ones who will hold on to them. When we're ready to let go of them, that's when we won't feel them any longer.

There are no excuses we can use to justify our feelings. The program teaches us to look inward at ourselves, not outward at the effects of the universe. Tonight we can look inward and survey the feelings we have. We can choose to keep them, or let them go.

No matter what the circumstances of the day, all the feelings I have are mine. Tonight I can let go of the ones I don't want and hang on to those that feel good.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

The chains that bind

Our self-centeredness and resentments are the chains that bind us. It makes little difference whether these faults are outstanding or subtle, whether they are justified or unjustified. We are still in a bind.

It matters little whether we are held by a slender thread or by a heavy rope. If we are anchored, we won’t be freed until we decide to break the bond that holds us. A thin thread may be more easily broken, but we must decide to break it or it will stay put.

Unless our attachment to negative attitudes and actions is broken, our union with the Divine Source is hindered.

Have I broken free of my bonds?

Higher Power, help me discover and release the character defects that keep me from uniting with you.

Today I will try to break free of self-centeredness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is difficult to stop in time because one gets carried away. But I have that strength; it is the only strength I have.

~ CLAUDE MONET ~

Newcomer

I love to start new things—work assignments, artistic projects, even relationships. But then I hang on and can't let go when things are finished. I make up my mind and then change it. I don't know if it's self-doubt or what.

Sponsor

One of the many shapes perfectionism can take is difficulty with completing things. Some of us slow down as we reach an ending. Perhaps we fear that we'll lose the part of ourselves that has been alive and engaged. Or we fear criticism and rejection, both of which we'll risk when we let our work into the world, or when we commit ourselves to a decision. We slow down or even abandon something we've given much of ourselves to, to avoid ending it. Or we keep going when we should stop and redo what is already good enough.

The myth that perfection is possible feeds and is fed by the sense of inadequacy that characterizes our addictions. It keeps us from the pleasure and pain of finishing. It shuts off our connection with our intuition, which usually knows when enough is enough. In recovery, we can receive gratification and self-esteem from finishing unfinished business.

Today, I work toward completion. I stop when I see that there is no more to be done.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A large segment of humanity, stumbling in alcoholic darkness, resigned to a belief that nothing can possibly be done about the situation, has at long last caught a gleam of light and presses on to that beacon of Hope.

Alcoholics Anonymous is that light shining forth in the night of despair, and your hand holds the torch. Be sure you hold it high, that all suffering alcoholics may see it, and direct their faltering steps over the proven pathway that you trod.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Help

Dear God, this I pray.
Help me until I can trust my own thoughts,
Encourage me until I regain my self-esteem,
Love me until I am able to love myself,
Protect me from my demons until I can fight them
with You.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHY WORRY?

Nothing is really worth worrying about. Nothing is really worth getting angry or hurt or bitter about. Positively nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over.

These important truths follow logically upon the following feet: You are going to live forever—somewhere. This means that there is plenty of time to get things right again if they have gone wrong. No matter what mistake you may have made, enough prayer will overtake it and cancel it. If those you love seem to be acting foolishly, you can help them with prayer to be wiser, and, meanwhile, if they suffer, it means that kindly nature is teaching them a lesson that they need to learn.

But suppose something awful should happen? Well, what then? Suppose you lost everything and landed in the poorhouse. What then? Think what a wonderful demonstration you could make there, and you would probably learn several valuable lessons there, and, anyway, it would be quite interesting. Suppose the whole universe blew up. What then? When the dust settles, God will still be in business and you will be alive somewhere, ready to carry on.

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Sharks or Goldfish?

They can do all because they think they can.

~ Virgil ~

“How big will this shark get?” asked Richard, an aquarium enthusiast.

“That depends on the size of your aquarium,” answered the pet sales–man. “Keep him in this little area, and he’ll stay seven inches; give him an entire ocean, and he’ll get big enough to eat you.”

Sharks, like goldfish, will grow in proportion to the size of the environment offered them. And so will thoughts. Give your positive or negative thoughts some space and food, and they will shape your life.

Behold the power of potential and attention. We can make anything we want out of our lives; we have the raw material to do it all. But we must choose what we want to make, or else we will be subject to the downward pull of mass thinking. If you don’t use your mind, someone else will.

An Indian came to a medicine man and told him, “In my mind there are two dogs fighting all the time; one is beautiful and one is ugly.”

“The beautiful one will win,” answered the shaman.

“Why is that?” asked the brave.

“Because you will feed the beautiful one.”

Give me the wisdom and strength to nourish the good, the beautiful, and the true.

I am free to build the life I choose.