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November 20

Step by Step

” …(T)he man with the grown-up brain and the childish emotions – vanity, self-interest, false pride, jealousy, longing for social approval, to name a few – become a prime candidate for alcohol. …(T)hat is the definition of alcoholism: a state of being in which the emotions have failed to grow to the stature of the intellect. …(T)here are some alcoholics who seem terribly, terribly grown-up, but …they are trying to make themselves think they are grown-up, and the strain of their effort is what is causing them to drink – a sense of inadequacy, a childish vanity to be the most popular, the most sought after, the mostest of the most. And all this, of course, is, in the popular modern jargon, ‘compensation’ for immaturity’.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), pp 534-35.

Today: ” …emotions have failed to grow to the stature of the intellect.” Somewhere along the line, something impeded my emotional development that lent itself vulnerable to a false “stimulus” – alcohol. Accepting that my alcoholism is partly an emotional disease, I also must accept that abstinence by itself is not enough to obtain sobriety. And this is when I must look to the First and Second Steps – to accept my powerlessness and open myself to the possibility of a higher power that might show me the way. Such is the basis of recovery; without surrender to these two basic but essential steps, the emotions that contributed to my flawed character likely will not heal. Today, I pray for the healing to begin. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HASTE

Make haste slowly.

~ Augustus ~

It is natural for a newcomer to be impatient and want to know everything possible about recovery quickly. So many efforts have been made in the past toward staying abstinent, with no results, that the addict is sick and tired of the discouragement that followed every failure. As soon as they were aware that success could at long last be theirs, beginners sometimes thought they must waste no time in being experts on the subject of addiction and recovery.

The old saying "haste makes waste" is still good advice. Many a quick learner discovers that when they rush into "educating the whole world" after only a short time in recovery, they often have been looking only at surface truths. Fortunately, such "eager beavers" quickly learn to dig deeper into the process of admitting and accepting before tackling the job of being a teacher, even to themselves.

When I was new to the Program, I needed to remember that I couldn't learn everything overnight. I was told to carry the message, but first I had to find out what it was.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

~ Roma proverb ~

Facing our fears is part of our spiritual development. First we must admit them. We were raised to be dishonest about our fear, to betray our own consciousness by saying we were not afraid. When we get honest, we see how many things we have avoided, how often we felt tense and uneasy, all because we were afraid. We worry that there won’t be enough to fill our needs, that we will be alone, that we won’t survive a difficult time. But something mystical happens when we learn at a deep level to turn what we cannot control over to the care of God.

For most of us, we don’t absorb this mystery all at once, then live without fear. It is something we keep returning to. We worry about a speech we have to make... and then we remember to turn it over to God and feel peaceful again. We worry about a trip we will be taking . . . and then come back to our spiritual peace. We worry about the health of a loved one... and then turn it over. This spiritual practice is a centerpiece of our healing journey.

Today I will keep returning to the peace that comes when I turn the future over to the care of God.

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~ EACH DAY A NEW BEGINNING ~ (Daily Meditations For Women) ~

Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.

~ Liane Cordes ~

Perseverance may well be our greatest asset. As we forge ahead on a project, it loses its power over us. Our confidence and abilities grow in concert with our progress on the project, preparing us to tackle the next one too.

We have something special, uniquely our own to offer in this life. And we also have the potential to offer it successfully. However, we don't always realize our potential. Many of us stifled our development with fears of failure, low self-worth, assumed inadequacies. The past need plague us no longer.

Help is readily available for us to discover our capacities for success. Abilities stand ready to be tapped, goals and projects await our recognition. Any commitment we make to a task that draws our interest will be reinforced by God's commitment to our efforts. We have a partner. Our efforts are always doubled when we make them—truly make them.

I will not back away from a project today. I will persevere and find completion. I'll feel completed.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

All my days are not wonderful, but I know what “wonderful” is.

~ Ruthie Albert ~

What is “wonderful”? Is it being full of wonder? Are our grateful moments among the wonderful ones? Perhaps. When we’re awed by the mystery of our personal salvation, we experience pure wonderment. How did we get free of our addiction and why?

Living in the aura of gratitude can make most experiences wonderful. We can’t imagine why we have been graced, but we no longer doubt that our recovery is by design. That keeps us filled with wonder. We can choose to focus on this feeling.

Why don’t we choose to feel wonderful every day? Maybe that’s part of the disease we share. We may think we don’t deserve much happiness. It’s surely possible, however, to feel it with more regularity. There is no better time than now to make the decision.

My life is truly a miracle. I have been chosen for this journey, and this fact fills me with wonder.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to remind myself that "easy does it"

When I first came to grips with my addiction and mental health issues, I thought a dozen Twelve Step meetings would cure me of my drug and alcohol problems. I thought that my psychiatric medication would quickly cure me of my anxiety and depression. I had no idea about the process and progress of recovery— the slips, the relapses, and setbacks.

But I am slowly recognizing that my expectations were unrealistic and naive. I see better now that I have several issues to deal with and that recovering will take some time. It doesn't help to expect perfection or to punish myself for mistakes. What does help, however, is to be very gentle with myself.

I will pray to understand, forgive, and accept myself.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We cannot teach love and be consistently loving until we stop blaming others and ourselves.

~ Gerald G. Jampolsky ~

Blame can become an automatic response to the troubles we encounter in living. The habit of blaming others for our problems keeps us stuck on a merry-go-round fueled by self-pity. When we consistently look outside ourselves for a scapegoat, life and the blaming game drain our energy. And when we distract ourselves like that, we are not taking positive action to change.

We are powerless to change other people. When we keep holding others responsible for our troubles, we make them responsible for our happiness, too. Then we are ever ready to be hurt by them again and again.

When we look at the world through blaming eyes, we block our own ability to experience love. Love asks that we gently and gradually let go of the blaming habit and try to focus instead on what we can change in ourselves and our lives. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we find a whole new sense of power, purpose, and happiness.

Today let me feel the freedom and power of becoming responsible for my own happiness as I learn to stop blaming.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.

~ Spencer Johnson ~

Those who use and abuse are adept at all forms of lying— from the art of deception to the ability to create convincing stories filled with misdirection and misinformation. Addiction is, quite simply, full of lying. The greater and longer your immersion was in using, the easier lying may have become for you. Just as you convinced others to believe your lies, so too may you have convinced yourself that all of the falsehoods you told were realities. After a while, it may have become as hard for you to distinguish the truth from mistruth as it was for others.

Recovery helps to strip away the falsehoods from your life and the need to lie. As you learn to be honest with others, you also learn to be totally honest with yourself. This means you cannot cut corners in your work in recovery, cannot offer excuses for relapse or poor behavior, and cannot embellish stories to bring you greater attention.

While honesty may not always be easy, particularly when it presents you with truths that are hard to face, the more you tell the truth the greater the respect will be that you have for yourself.

I will be honest with myself and others at all times.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life: a diary in which every [one] means to write one story, and writes another.

~ Sir James M. Barrie ~

Did our day today live up to our expectations, or were we greeted by new situations, new knowledge, and new experiences? Oftentimes what we expect is not what we're given. Life is not a known substance. It's many times a delicious new taste we've never had before.

To go through each day with a set outcome in our minds will only lead to disappointment and may prevent us from being open to new discoveries. Life cannot be predicted or even imagined. It can only be experienced each minute.

Let us not try to write the events of tomorrow until after they've happened. Let us be free to experience all that's in store for us—fresh and new and exciting.

What will I write in my diary? Let me meet each new experience of life on its own terms.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living in fellowship

Without our fellowship, many people would not be able to cross the line to sanity. Letters and visits keep us close to those who are far from meeting places. The fellowship is a joy and a necessity, and many of us believe it is a divine gift from our Higher Power.

Perhaps nothing else exists that can so completely multiply all our joys and divide all our grief.

Have I given what I can to the fellowship today?

Higher Power, may I do one deed today that will increase the beauty of our fellowship.

Today I will enjoy the fellowship by sharing

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.

~ T. S. ELIOT ~

Newcomer

Someone I know finally started coming to meetings. I'd told her about this program months ago; she needs it as much as I do. She came for a while, then stopped attending on a regular basis. I've called her several times, but she always brushes me off.

Sponsor

If you really want to be helpful, do nothing! I can identify with your feelings of concern. In the past, there were many people I forced to listen to my experiences in this program. Most said things such as, "I don't like groups"; "I tried it, but it wasn't for me"; "Maybe someday"; or "I feel sorry for those people; I'm not like them." Still, some of these people stayed in the program, but not because of anything I said. Each of us finds his or her own way to recovery. Telling people what we think they should do seldom makes a difference. It's what they tell themselves that counts.

When I insist on trying to rescue someone who sends clear signals that he or she doesn't want help, when I take on responsibilities that aren't my own, I have to ask myself what my motives are. I've sometimes obsessed about an-other person's problems while not facing my own, and then feelings of resentment and superiority have reared their heads. I can't fix anyone else's life; my attempts to do that have usually backfired.

It helps to remember that others, like me, have a Higher Power. I can pray for them to find the path that leads to their highest good. And I can let go of having to be right.

Today, I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Man has within him something that is higher than man, and we can lift ourselves beyond our physical and human status in becoming absorbed by the highest instincts in ourselves.

Man is mortal, it is true, but you surpass man when you live in strict accordance with the Godlike characteristics you possess.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

With Laughter

O God, as the day returns and brings us the silly
rounds of irritating duties, help me perform
them with laughter and a kind face.
Let cheerfulness overflow in my work;
Give me joy during my business all this day;
Bring me to my resting bed tired and content
and grant me the gift of sleep.

~ Adapted from writings by Robert Louis Stevenson ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NEVER LOOK BACK

Never look back. Always go right ahead. Even if you are quaking, go right ahead. Jesus said the man who puts his hand to the plow and then turns back, is not worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. He also said: Remember Lot's wife (Luke 17:32).

No matter how unattractive or how dangerous the road ahead may be, it is better than the road back. The road ahead may be veiled from sight—but you must teach yourself to regard the unknown as friendly. Remember that God is always on the road ahead.

. . . cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee (Psalm 143:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Light on the Shadow

If I keep busy, I won’t have to look at what is frightening me.

~ Anonymous ~

One night Nasrudin’s neighbor Jalami found Nasrudin on his hands and knees under a streetlamp, searching for his house key. Wanting to be of service, Jalami joined Nasrudin on the ground and together poked around in the grass. After 20 minutes, Jalami asked Nasrudin, “Do you remember where you were standing when you dropped the key?”

“Yes,” answered Nasrudin, “over there,” pointing to a tree 30 feet from the lamp where the two men were searching.

“Then why are you looking for the key here?” Jalami had to ask.

“Because there is more light over here.”

It is tempting to look in easy places for answers, instead of confronting our inner thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. One of the techniques we use to distract ourselves from facing our fears is to create endless errands, projects, meetings, emergencies, dramas, crises, upsets, and intellectual dances that keep us so occupied that we have little or no time left to be with ourselves. But simply taking a few quiet moments to honestly face what is troubling us may be exactly what we need to heal the insanity we create in our outer circumstances.

Enlightenment is an inside job. Doing more in the outer world will not result in more peace; only being more will get us what we want. Peace is attained by letting go of everything that distracts us from it.

Step back from your busy-ness and look within, where you will find everything you have ever sought in the outer world, and more.

All I really want is to know You. Help me to stay on purpose. Give me the inspiration to look within for my answers. Help me take the time to be with myself and find the peace I seek.

In quiet I look within and discover the light I am.