[bluidkiti]

November 23

Step by Step

Today… patience: Loosening my grip on a character defect that can be as crippling as any other – impatience. Whether I am new to the Program or have worked it for countless 24 Hours, may I understand in expecting too much too soon that recovery requires growth – and growth is not a one-time “event” but an ever-evolving dynamic. If today I am tempted to drink or shoot up, I will pray for patience. I have the 12 steps to overcome a potential relapse and my own history to know where impatience has taken me before. And let me know that the temptation will pass, as all things do. But the temptation will not pass if I feed it. If people in my life do not live up to what I expect of them or in the time I think they should, let me use patience to ask myself if I am unfairly asking something of someone else and, if not, grant me patience to “allow” others to do it in their own time. If something looms for me three weeks in the future, let me not fret today or any other today for the next three weeks for I risk igniting other potentially crippling emotions, including anger, resentment and a blow-up like a pressure cooker left unattended. Today, let me recognize that impatience can be as deadly as any other defect that is common in AA discussion and that I need to respect life evolving on its time schedule, not mine. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FEAR

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

Fear was our enemy. It prevented us from living fully. It kept us standing still. It made us close our ears and minds to new ideas and ways of living. Fear of the un-known kept us locked up in our addiction. It told us to stay where it was safe and with what we knew. It refused to let us discover a way to deal with reality.

In recovery, we are learning to cope with fear. We are shown ways to take positive action to get past fear and continue our spiritual progress. Often we find that simply sharing our fears with other members of the Program relieves us of them. We have come to realize fear was the sparkplug that started our character defects in motion.

I now see how fear kept me a prisoner of my addiction and character defects. I will share my fears with others in the Program, and work to get past them. Fear need not always be harmful. It can teach me which direction to go.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.

~ John Dewey ~

We’re not the men we used to be. The little boy who went off to his first day of school so many years ago exists only as a memory. The guy who pursued his controlling behaviors and sought his pleasures and escapes is not the guy who now follows a path of healing and recovery. We build upon who we were and the experiences we had, and we continue our formation into a whole self as long as we live. That is why we continue through daily prayer and meditation to look at ourselves and make the choices that will take us further in the direction of a stronger, more self-respecting man.

Some of us were frozen in our development and didn’t continue to grow in our wisdom and emotional strength. We were seduced by the allure of childish answers and easy escapes from the challenges in our lives. Our formation as adult men was sidetracked and bogged down, going nowhere. Now we have made new choices that put us back on the track that continues our growth.

Today I choose to stay on course to live the life that restores me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The ordinary human being thinks about twelve thousand thoughts a day.

~ Susan Smith Jones ~

The mind is seldom at rest; it drifts from one scenario to another. But this busyness accomplishes little. In many instances, it sets us up for conflicts with others.

Thinking has its place in leading a responsible life. Yet making a commitment to monitor all our thoughts, and to give up willingly those that are negative toward ourselves or others, is wise.

Nothing is stopping us from thinking only beneficial thoughts. What are you feeling, right now? If it’s not positive, then your thoughts may be at fault. It might be helpful to review them.

Whatever I think today is within my grasp. Keeping my thoughts beneficial to myself and to others will have a positive payoff.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to accept professional help to recover

I was angry, ashamed, and frustrated about having to get treatment for my psychiatric illness (and for my addiction). It meant I couldn't take care of myself. It meant my illnesses were serious. It meant loss of freedom.

And yet my symptoms were getting worse (using didn't help). With the two illnesses together, it seemed managing on my own was too much. It's true, treatment was tough to face, but now I can see that it was for the best. I didn't like being there, but I do want to stay stable and sober.

I will pray to accept my need for ongoing help.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Keep coming back. It works. If you work it.

~ Program Saying ~

The last four words of that slogan capture our attention: if you work it. Most of the time we do work the program. But then sometimes we don’t. We forget to pray. We skip an amend. We are discourteous. We begin again to think only of ourselves.

We know from our own experience that we have to work our recovery program each and every day. We can’t just work it on Mondays and Fridays, or “when we really need it.”

Also, we need to make the effort ourselves. No one else can do it for us. And the best ways are the active ways: reading literature, going to a meeting, a daily communing with our Higher Power, giving the program away, helping others.

When we feel like we “have it together” and begin slowly drifting away, if only for a day or so, we can pray for the reminder that we need to work our program each and every day. God will give us the guidance, but we need to actively work our program.

Today let me find one way to work my Program and stick with it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

~ Bill Watterson ~

It can be hard to spend time around active alcoholic family members during the holidays. Not only does their drinking bother you, but their denial about having a problem can be infuriating.

So how should you handle being around the raging alcoholics in your family? Chances are they know about your recovery or, if they do not, will notice you are not drinking. You will need to ignore any comments they may make about this. Too, you must ignore denial-based comments they may make about their drinking. Confronting an active alcoholic is often not a wise choice. Not only do you run the risk of causing an argument, you also may end up being verbally attacked.

The best way to handle family gatherings in which there will be alcohol and nonrecovering alcoholics is to enlist the help of others. Talk to your sponsor ahead of time, and keep your sponsor’s phone number close at hand. Arrange to attend a meeting or get together with others in the program so you have an excuse to leave early. And remember that the inappropriate behaviors you witness are reflections of a past life from which you are now free.

I will ask my sponsor and others in the program /or help so I can handle holiday gatherings.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I can't write a book commensurate with Shakespeare, but I can write a book by me.

~ Sir Walter Raleigh ~

We may have grown up trying to emulate our favorite heroes, wishing we were as strong, as beautiful, as smart, or as self-sufficient as they were. Because our role models in the home may have been poor, we learned to look outside ourselves for people to copy.

Yet we can never be anyone other than ourselves. We may desire to have what someone else has because we don't like what we have. We can change those characteristics we don't like in ourselves, or we can learn to accept them. But we can't disguise our true selves by trying to be the carbon copy of someone we admire.

By striving for imitation, we are ignoring the wonderful person inside. We may not be a great artist like Renoir, a celebrated writer like Shakespeare, a brilliant singer or actor or great athlete or superb politician. We can only be ourselves. And that means we need to write our own book, not copy another's.

Tonight I am proud to be who I am. I have some wonderful qualities and talents that I can develop.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being consistent

What we believe today is always subject to change tomorrow. We change and grow in many ways. We don’t have to adhere to yesterday’s words just because we said them in public. We may have received new data since then! We don’t have to grapple with our memories so that we won’t say something that contradicts past words. We live always in a new day.

We can trust ourselves and our Higher Power if our words and messages come from “the still small voice within.” We must re-member that what was necessary for us yesterday may not be what we need today.

Am I always open to growth, to change, to new views and ideas?

Higher Power, help me demonstrate my consistent need to grow by helping me be flexible.

Today I will question my beliefs about

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When people are still asleep I hear God best and learn my plan.

~ GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER ~

Newcomer

I'm beginning to have a sense of my own Higher Power. It's not that I can tell you in so many words exactly what I believe. But I do have a feeling of being part of something larger than myself and, often, a sense of comfort and safety that I didn't have before. It surprises me that I've developed the habit of prayer.

Sponsor

Many of us have had the experience of finding a Higher Power as a result of prayer, instead of the other way around. We don't have to resolve questions of belief in order to pray. Like you, we simply take the action of praying. People get to know one another over the course of many, many shared conversations and activities. Why shouldn't we begin to develop our relationship with a Power greater than ourselves in the same way, using prayer as a form of communication? Some of us use the beautiful prayers of the religion we grew up with or have chosen; some of us write our own prayers or speak them spontaneously, aloud or in our hearts. When we apply Step Eleven to our lives, using prayer as a form of daily "conscious contact," our relationship with a Higher Power evolves.

Today, I begin to know my Higher Power better through prayer.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Isn't it strange to note the absence of a lot of our old pre-AA friends over the week-end? We have not offended them, surely, and we are just as good friends as we used to be, but somehow, they don't call on us with the same regularity. The answer is simple — the bar is closed.

Now home is what it should be and the people who do call do so because they like us and not just to get a drink.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Live and Let Live

O Lord, we are urged to live fully, richly, and happily—to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do. O Lord, it is more difficult to let live. This means accepting the right of every other person to live as he or she wishes, without my criticism and judgment. May 1 live life to the fullest, understanding that pure pleasure-seeking is not pleasure-finding, but that Your goodness is here to be shared. May I learn not to take over the responsibility for another adults decisions,- that is my old controlling self trying one more time to be the executive director of other people's lives. Dear God, help me to live and let live.

~ Adapted from A Day at a Time, October 1 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

INCREASING YOUR DIVIDENDS

For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath (Matthew 25:29).

This great text has been a stumbling block to many. It looks like injustice. It sounds like cruelty. Yet Jesus said it, and we know that he was always right.

The explanation is logical when you have the key to life. Your experience is the expression (pressing out) of your state of mind or consciousness, at any time. When your consciousness is high, everything goes well. When your consciousness is low or limited, everything goes wrong.

When trouble comes the usual thing is to meet it with fear, anger, disappointment, self-pity, or brutal will power. This naturally lowers the consciousness a good deal more, and things get still worse. From him that hath not (much) harmony, shall be taken away even that which he hath.

Harmony and joy naturally raise your consciousness and your faith in God still higher, and so things improve further. Unto everyone that hath shall be given and he shall have abundance. This is a simple statement of natural law. Let us thank God that this wonderful law exists.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Fido Was Right

Resolve to be thyself, and know that he who finds himself loses his misery.

~ Matthew Arnold ~

At the conclusion of a radio program I was on, the interviewer signed off with a priceless piece of advice: “Be the person your dog knows you to be.”

Many people report that their relationship with their dog is among the most supportive and unconditionally loving in a lifetime. What is it that we receive from canines that we miss with people? Dogs love us for who we are. They do not have a lot of complicated expectations or demands. They are happy to see us, and show it. They express their affection without restraint and appreciate even a little pat on the head. They are honest, dedicated, and they live joyfully in the moment.

By contrast, we believe things about ourselves that are less than loving and accepting. We judge, criticize, berate, undermine, put ourselves down, and have little patience for our errors. It is no wonder we love our dogs—they love us more than we love ourselves!

I studied with a teacher who consistently saw the good in me and reminded me of my worth and beauty. For many years I came to her with fear, guilt, and unworthiness, and she answered with support, forgiveness, and blessing. Ultimately, I realized that our visions of who I was were so radically different that one of us had to be wrong. I decided I would rather have her be right.

You, too, can be the person your dog knows you to be; Fido may see you more clearly than you see yourself.

Help me know how lovable I am, that I may shine forgiveness into the world.

I accept God’s vision of my innocence.