[bluidkiti]

November 26

Step by Step

“Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic (spouses) and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. …A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 (“Working With Others”), p 97.

Today, just as I was responsible for the consequences of my drinking, so I am also responsible to sobriety and recovery. Both are a gift, and they require nurturing and work to grow. “(T)he foundation stone of …recovery” is helping others, that is, carrying the AA message to others who need and want it. But in our work, we must understand that we are also required to stress individual obligation to sobriety, that it is neither a right nor given without responsibility. The work of the truly effective and committed 12th-stepper is seldom limited to just talking to someone who cries for help. But the work to carry the message and in the process holding onto it is nowhere near the work needed to get and stay drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

I’M SORRY

The prayer of amends must be a way of life, not just a sad cry at the end of failure.

~ Anonymous ~

Most of us are truly sorry for the wreck-age we caused by our behavior. Our disease has touched many people and the scars sometimes run deep. It would be great if everyone we harmed would accept our apology, but this probably won't happen. It doesn't matter. We still need to tell them we feel bad about their pain.

It's true that we offer amends in the hope of healing relationships. But it is even truer that our recovery depends on our willingness to offer amends. Some things can't be set right with an "I'm sorry." We have to show by actions as well as words that we honestly want to make amends where possible.

As long as I pursue my recovery one day at a time, I will have time enough to demonstrate in action that I am sorry for the pain I caused.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

~ Dan Stanford ~

We want what we want and we often feel entitled to it, but it’s only when reality gives us something else that we get pushed into further growth. We may have a road map to our destination, but if we have car trouble on the way, we will have some unexpected experiences. Our first response to a change in plans is usually frustration or disappointment. We never would have chosen to face the situation. But facing it changes us and we become a different person. Often the change is small, but some events change us in big ways forever.

That is why we are only partly in control of the course our life will take. After we have changed, we become loyal to the new person we are becoming. We appreciate what we learned. When we choose responses that match our integrity, we come out stronger, wiser, and more experienced.

Today I will be open to the experiences that I didn’t plan.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

How can I forgive others for their mistakes when I cannot forgive myself?

~ Karen Davis ~

Forgiveness is elusive. We aren’t sure how it’s done, so we close our minds to it. Resentments, on the other hand, are easy to understand. They are seductive but deadly. Why do we hang on to them? What is our payoff? Ironically, resenting someone else’s behavior or their successes diminishes us. Although we get a momentary sense of superiority when we judge them, we get no long-term benefits. Much, in fact, is lost.

Forgiving others, particularly those who have harmed us, seems unfair. Why should we? Those wiser than us say “Do it.” Until we have tried forgiveness we can’t really know the blessing we’ll receive. When we forgive others, we accelerate our growth. We see opportunities that resentment blocked. Forgiveness gives us power to open doors and step into new, inspiring circumstances.

Deliberately forgiving myself for not being perfect will comfort me. It will allow me to go easier on others too. We’re all doing as well as we can, right now. And that’s good enough.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am trying to accept others' lack of acceptance

With a broken leg, there is a cast. With an appendicitis, there's a bandage and a scar. With my dual disorder, there is no visible wound. So people often don't understand my pain and symptoms—for example, anxiety, depression, weight changes, or fatigue. They may not consider them real or legitimate.

Right now I am learning a critical lesson: I cannot change the way other people think or act. Fortunately, I can still get what I deeply need—certainly not from everybody, and not from just anybody—but from my support group: (a) understanding and acceptance of who I am; (b) validation of my problems; and (c) support for my recovery.

Today I will pray to accept myself and pray to accept the people who don't accept me.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A wise man will make more opportunity than he finds.

~ Francis Bacon ~

Sometimes we are “too tired” when it’s time to go to a meeting. We are undecided: should we go to our group or should we take a week off because we “need a break”?

Sometimes we do need time off to get some sleep or catch up on chores. But more often we find an unexpected benefit when we fight temptation and go to the meeting. We often realize our reluctance was really a symptom of a spiritual problem. We were isolating, as we did in active addiction. Old behaviors are always comforting. Often, on the nights we force ourselves to go we hear something we needed to hear or see someone we needed to see in order to move on to a new level of recovery. We may learn something new or hear some familiar program principle expressed in a new way. We usually leave these meetings invigorated and refreshed and grateful we came.

When we keep our eyes open in recovery and remain willing to go to meetings even when we don’t want to, we will always discover what we need at just the right time.

Today help me remember how much my program brings to my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Desire, ask, believe, receive.

~ Stella Terrill Mam ~

Belief in something greater than yourself can make you feel more at peace. But how can you have this belief if you do not believe in God?

Many in recovery start out without faith. They may doubt the existence of a spiritual presence after years of misery and failed relationships. Too, they may feel they are not worthy of God’s attention or consider that God must have abandoned them and their bad ways long ago.

No matter your religious beliefs, the program is not a religion. Utilizing prayer and developing a conscious contact with something greater than yourself are components that help your spiritual development. If you are uncomfortable considering a Higher Power, instead consider developing faith. This faith is based upon hope for a better way of life, hope for staying clean and sober, hope for learning how to accept and feel love. Faith that is founded on hope can help you overcome fears and doubts, provide you with the strength and will to make the necessary changes to improve your life, and enable you to develop greater awareness of who you are. The more hopeful you can become, the more faith-filled you can be. Hopelessness will not help you to recover, but hopefulness can.

I have faith in my potential for something more and something better in my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Never answer an angry word in kind. It's the second word that makes the quarrel.

~ Anonymous ~

In the past we've probably found it's easy to have an argument. In fact, that may have been how we spent the majority of our time with our spouse, family members, or friends. Arguments may have become so familiar that to have them was to be doing "the right thing."

Today we've learned to detach from angry words. We know now the other person is probably in so much pain that the only way they feel they can alleviate the pain is to hurt another.

Detachment is the only cure for an argument. Once we stop detaching, we are sucked into the tangled web of confusion, pain, and bitterness. We can strengthen our ability to detach by relying on the support of our friends in the program and our Higher Power.

Do I need help detaching? Help me find my strength from those who can help me, not hurt me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing opinions

At first, really hearing fellow addicts is an exciting experience. We may charge off explaining our insights at meetings and social gatherings. We truly need to share in this manner, but it should not affect us too much when other people don’t accept our pearls of wisdom. What may be a gem for us could be a mere pebble for another.

So when others shoot us down for some-thing we’ve said, we needn’t take it too personally. What is right for one may not be right for another; however, we all have the right to express our opinions.

Do I share my views freely with others?

Higher Power, may my sharing not be imposing, and may I not take opinions as personal insults or rejections.

Today I will share my deepest insights with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized.

~ ALBERT EINSTEIN ~

Newcomer

At one meeting I go to, the same two people seem to dominate. Both take service positions every term. Both, when they share, say things that are subtly critical of other people's recovery and all the "new" ways of doing things in this program.

Sponsor

It's a program tradition that we don't have "bosses," but now and then a group gets lazy and allows itself to be led a bit heavy-handedly. Tolerance is the solution for both old- timers and relative newcomers. Rather than criticize the critics, other group members can become willing to take a more active role by attending business meetings, volunteering for service positions, or nominating new officers. When a group is facing proposed changes, a "group conscience" meeting is held; we trust that a Power greater than ourselves expresses itself through the decisions we arrive at together.

Personal styles and common cultural experiences of new generations of people in recovery may be a bit different from those of people who've been here for a while, but the basic principles of this program haven't changed. Sharing our own experience and listening to others with humility is still the way we recover.

Today, I practice tolerance.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days, fear of every-thing and everybody was our constant companion. These fears continued until we finally, in desperate necessity, found the courage to surrender — to quit unconditionally. Then we found AA and a ray of Hope. Hope became desire, desire became determination. With necessity as our charger and with determination as our lance we were adequately armed to overcome our despair.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Praised Be you, My Lord

Praised be You, my Lord, through our Sister
Mother Earth, who sustains us, governs us, and
Who produces varied fruits with colored flowers.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Wind
And through the air, cloudy and serene, and
Every kind of weather.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Moon and
The stars in heaven; You formed them clear and
Precious and beautiful.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Fire,
Through whom You light the night.

Praised be You, my Lord, with all Your creatures,
Especially Sir Brother Sun, who is the day and
Through whom You give us light. And He is
Beautiful and radiant with great splendors and bears
Likeness to You, Most High One.

~ by St. Francis of Assisi ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW MUCH CONVICTION?

What do you really believe? It is as a man thinketh in his heart that matters, says the Bible, and this means the heartfelt conviction as distinct from mere formal assent.

If you want to know what you really believe, simply watch what you do. We always do what we believe, although we frequently talk differently. If you feel that you are not making the most of your life, change your beliefs. Your present beliefs must be wrong if they are not producing harmony and satisfaction.

Start believing in health; start believing in prosperity; start believing in the Christ in those about you; start believing that your own divine Selfhood is rapidly unfolding. Act as though you believed these things and the results will surprise you.

For there stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am, and whom I serve, Saying, Fear not, Paul. . . . Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as was told me (Acts 27:23-25).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Am Good Fortune

I do not seek good fortune. I am good fortune.

~ Walt Whitman ~

On an episode of Northern Exposure, the character Shelly received a chain letter telling her that if she mailed the letter on to a friend within three days, she would enjoy unprecedented good luck. Believing the prophecy, she copied the letter and mailed it at the local post office. To Shelly’s delight, all manner of good things befell her, and many blessings she desired came true; she felt deeply grateful that the good for–tune of the chain letter came her way. A week later when Shelly returned to the post office, the clerk held up her letter and informed her that he did not mail it because she needed more postage. Shelly’s jaw dropped when she realized that the letter was not the source of her good luck. She admitted, “I guess we are in charge of our own lives.”

There is no force outside of you that can determine what happens to you. But there is a very potent force inside you that sets the stage for every event you experience. Enlightenment is an inside job. Luck is not a capricious gift that whimsically falls into our lap; it is a force we activate with our thoughts, feelings, attitude, words, and actions.

If you are waiting for your ship to come in, get into the captain’s seat and pilot it yourself. If you are waiting for a particular person to come along and make your life wonderful, that person is you. The more you love your–self, the greater your power to draw quality companions. At this very moment, you have everything you need to set into motion a chain of events that will change your life forever.

I claim my power to generate my good. Thank you, God, for allowing me to co-create miracles with you.

I call all of my good to me now. It is done unto me as I believe.