[bluidkiti]

November 27

Step by Step

“There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen – we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don’t delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), p 83.

Today, I can’t take on guilt – or be guilted – if I am in absolute honesty cannot make an amend to someone I have hurt if that amend inflicts further injure them or someone else. This is a vital qualifier of the Ninth Step – that we make amends directly “except when to do so would injure them or others.” But this isn’t a out from making amends or accepting responsibility. It is possible to postpone making an amend if an immediate one inflicts hurt. It is just as possible that I can never make amends to someone if that person cannot be found or is no longer available. In any case, if for no one other than myself, I can make “indirect” amends by admitting my wrong in writing, in a private journal even if no one else will read it. In doing that, I am at least giving voice to a silent wrong. The benefit could be that the guilt or fear of being “caught” is powerless because I have admitted my wrong and responsibility. If today I take the Ninth Step, I must temper my “confession” with the qualification that an act of atonement now could do what the Ninth warns against – inflicting further hurt. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

REBELS

Some people never grow up — they just grow old.

~ Anonymous ~

As a group, most of us were rebellious and defiant. We lived for excitement, kicks, and highs. We liked living "on the edge." We were outlaws from society. The fast lane wasn't fast enough. We weren't satisfied with getting high or too high; we wanted to be way too nigh. "Live fast, die young," was our motto.

For many of us, "acting out" got us in trouble with authority. We didn't like authority figures, or anyone who tried to influence our behavior. In recovery, we have learned that our rebellious attitude and behavior was just a sign of immaturity. We became aware that our defiance and grandiosity had no place in recovery. Now we cooperate with life. We aren't banging our heads against walls anymore.

I have come to see my rebellion as having no place in my recovery. I don't want to be an outlaw anymore.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If called by a panther
Don’t anther.

~ Ogden Nash ~

We were brought to this program after following our desires and our passions to self-destructive extremes. Sometimes we still hear the call from that dark side, seducing us back to the ecstatic highs. Relapse is always a danger. We never get over being addicts and codependents. No man eradicates his dark side. It’s not a bridge we can burn behind us.

How do we prevent the ever-possible relapse? First, we accept that we cannot fight tomorrow’s battles today, so we don’t worry about how we will stay clean and sober in the future. That eliminates our worry about tomorrow’s sobriety. Second, we keep our connection open with other people. We stay in touch with them. We keep talking and don’t allow ourselves to fall back into old patterns of isolation. When we hear that seductive call, we talk to others about it. And third, we take our mistakes and turn them into something productive by learning from them.

Today, once again, I admit that I am a codependent and/or an addict and that my recovery is a daily process of healing.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

All of us grieve differently.

~ Joan Gilbertson ~

We have grieved over many situations. Most of us grieved over the loss of our drug of choice. Even though we were headed down a dead-end road, we still considered chemicals our companion. Our choice to live meant saying good-bye to our companion and feeling lonely for a time.

We may also have to let go of friends who don’t support our sobriety. We may have to leave jobs or significant relationships that hinder our growth. With every loss our emotional balance will be disrupted. The void left by the loss haunts us for a time; we respond with tears, anger, sadness, confusion, and even rage. Grief may wear a different robe with each appearance. Fortunately, we have one another to help us slip into and out of these robes of despair.

As we learn from one another’s grief, we grow in our capacity to handle our own. More important, we grow in our desire to offer compassion to each hurting heart.

If I need to grieve today, I can do so freely and fully and trust that God is close by, as are my friends in this program. I am not alone.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to express my emotions

I don't like the way I'm feeling these days. I don't like having to cope with my addiction and strong emotions. Right now I don't like myself. I don't like the way my life is going. I'm discouraged, frustrated, and angry.

When I called my sponsor he understood. He said that at one time, he had felt the same way. Then he offered me a suggestion, one he still uses today: with strong and painful emotions, look for a way to safely express them—whether with words or images or actions. I thanked him and agreed to give it a try.

Today I will practice expressing my feelings in two ways: once by myself with words, images, or actions and once with a friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I learn by going where I have to go.

~ Theodore Roethke ~

We used to live anywhere but in the present. Our heads were full of grandiose visions of ourselves, worries about the future, or guilt about the past. We had no direction except toward the drug of our choice.

Life is simpler now. We have a future, one which we have an active hand in creating. When we begin to worry what will become of us, we know we can let go of concerns about tomorrow, do what we can today, and let God take care of the rest.

By taking whatever small steps we can today, by living in the moment as best we can, we are learning how to live as we go. What better way to travel than one day at a time, choosing a full, attentive, honest life? Thanks to our program of recovery and the presence of our Higher Power, this is our journey.

Our destination is this very moment. There is no other. With the help of our Higher Power, our friends in the program, and the tools of the Twelve Steps, we learn by living. As we do, our lives take us to wonderful places we could hardly have imagined not long ago.

Today let me take each step with my Higher Power.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

He who is greedy is always in want.

~ Horace ~

In your former days of using, you would do whatever you could to use and would take whatever you could to satisfy your cravings and desires. Your focus was solely on you and your needs. Being able to admit now that you have been selfish and greedy in the past signifies a great achievement. But just because you have stopped using does not mean all of your selfish desires have been stilled.

It is not uncommon for those in recovery to think that what they are going through should be the most important thing in everyone else’s lives. You may still find yourself focusing solely on your own needs in ways that minimize or neglect the needs of others.

There are people in the world who are selfish, and there are those who are selfless. There are those who are greedy, and those who are givers. Between these two extremes is a midpoint that presents a compromise between the polar opposites. This is what you need to strive for in your recovery. When you can give to others as well as to yourself, you are able to experience the best of both worlds.

I will find time to give to others, time to give to myself, and time to celebrate my ability to balance giving and receiving.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Failure is an event, not a person.

~ William D. Brown ~

We may find it easy to blame disappointing circumstances in our lives on the people in our lives. We might think we wouldn't be so angry with ourselves if we could change bosses or co-workers or partners. We might believe our inability to stay in relationships is caused by the family that brought us up or the circumstances now in our lives.

If we're angry at one boss, chances are we'll be angry at another no matter what company or job we have. The co-workers at a new company can't guarantee our happiness or peace of mind any more than a new relationship will bring us the love we've always searched for.

Once we realize our dissatisfactions come from events, rather than people, we'll be less likely to place blame on people or make them the targets of all our failings.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Knowing our Author

It’s important to know the Author of our hopes and desires. If we don’t understand the force that guides us, and why we follow, anything can lead us anywhere. The Steps are helpful tools in getting to know our Author. They are a personal path to our Higher Power and give us more direction than we have ever experienced before.

Our lives are written in the now, the present. The past cannot be erased, so forget about it. The future cannot be determined before the present, so stop daydreaming. Live in the now, the present—live when your story happens so you experience it and learn and grow from it. Only today’s activities are recorded today.

Who is the Author of my life?

May today be written by the Supreme Author.

I will try to make today’s page beautiful by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is well to lie fallow for a while.

~ M. F. TUPPER ~

Newcomer

The person who makes coffee for my home group left me a message at the last minute asking me to sub for him or suggest someone else. I said no—I hadn't planned to attend the meeting. I couldn't find my list of phone numbers, either, so I didn't suggest anyone. I'm feeling guilty. He doesn't know as many members of the group as I do; he has less time in the program than I have.

Sponsor

What's the worst thing that can possibly happen as a result of your not taking on this person's responsibility? Perhaps there'll be no coffee at the meeting this time, but I doubt that anyone will lose his or her recovery over it. More likely, someone will walk in, see that the coffeepot isn't on, and get it started.

When I can't keep a commitment, I do my best to make phone calls, but I'm not guaranteed that someone else will take it on for me. I start making calls well in advance, if at all possible. I do the best I can to find a substitute. But if no one else is available to help, I let go. I'm not indispensable. I've never known a meeting not to take place because of my absence.

The person who asked you to fill in for him may also need to learn more about keeping commitments; that's one of the reasons for taking on responsibilities in the early months of recovery. If you're there to rescue him whenever he can't make it, he may miss out on learning about reality. Saying no and being said no to is part of life.

Today, I am responsible, not over responsible.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Sorrow and happiness are mental states, but the effect they have upon our nervous system and our blood pressure is a recognized fact.

The "Atmosphere" of a hospital and its staff can lengthen or shorten the duration of an illness.

We alcoholics spent years driving nails into our coffins; let us spend today drawing those nails out.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Will Attend a Meeting

Creator, I will attend a meeting today.
I promise to seek out the similarities and not the
differences.
I will find something good in everything that is
shared.
I will praise the clean and sober and pray for the
using addict.
At the end of the day I will thank You for my
recovery.
It does not matter if the meeting was good or bad.
The most important thing is that I was there.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HAVE YOU A DINOSAUR'S EGG?

In a certain museum in New York there are a couple of dinosaur's eggs on view. This exhibit appeals to the imagination. Visitors say, "Those eggs were laid millions of years ago, and here they are today untouched!" These people are apt to overlook the fact that for the dinosaur in question they represent complete failure. After all the trouble of laying those eggs nothing ever came of them.

It is surprising how many otherwise intelligent men and women waste the best days of their lives laying dinosaur's eggs that never hatch out. Either through lack of energy, or lack of intelligent planning, or failure to make God a partner, or more often sheer muddle-headedness, they lay an excellent egg and then stroll away and forget it. Do not start a plan unless you really think it is worthwhile, and if you are convinced that it is worthwhile, do not rest until you have brought it to fruition.

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God (Luke 9:62).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Percentages

You can’t expect to get the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine.

~ Flip Wilson ~

“Would Mould you like to sleep with me?” the man in the elevator asked Nancy.

“Excuse me?”

“Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?”

“What makes you think I would want to go to bed with you? I don’t even know you!”
“I just thought I’d ask; one out of ten women says yes.”

Regardless of the apparent gap in this fellow’s integrity, he is onto an important principle: If you keep asking, sooner or later someone is bound to say yes. While this man is apt to hurt himself and others with his use of percentages, you and I can take the same principle and make it work toward the valuable goals that our hearts desire.

If you have a strong and sincere intuition or guidance to accomplish a certain task, somewhere in the universe there is someone who is seeking to help you fulfill it. Many people would come to Hilda’s prayer class with intentions of finding homes, jobs, and mates. Hilda would always remind them, “Your need is connected to someone else’s; at this very moment someone wants to offer the very thing you seek. Know that the divine connection system is always operating.” As a humorous application of this principle, one night Hilda asked everyone who wanted to lose weight to stand up. Then she asked everyone who wanted to gain weight to rise. Then she prayed, “May all the weight these people want to release go to those people who need it.”

Growth, change, and achievement take nerve and action. Your vision can and will be accomplished if you keep asking.

I pray for the perseverance to accomplish my goals. I trust in Your power to provide matching resources to serve my visions as well as others.

My dreams are good, and the universe supports me in attaining them.