When I went to my first A.CO.A. meeting I was glad that I had been introduced to AA first or I might have stayed in my denial. I was an adult child. I identified with the literature so much. I just couldn't believe it and had no idea that there was such a disorder. My father was an alcoholic and yet I onl saw him drunk twice. It was my mother's reaction to his drinking that seemed to have affected me the most. She used food to deal with her feelings because she was unaware of Al-Anon. She died at the age of 40 as a result of her own disease.
I went home to take care of my dad because he was drinking so much and became his drinking buddy. I was given Valium at 16. It was a direct result of trying to be an adult when I was still a kid. I also believe that having real wine for communion each Sunday, triggered my own alcoholism. I didn't know this until I came into recovery 39 years later.
Alcohol and drugs are a family disease. I know that I lived my life through others. My actions depended on what I thought the other person wanted or I was watchful so that I didn't trigger them to drink, become violent and abusive, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
