Quote:
Quote:
Reading from Courage to Change talks about our fear of change.
For me, I embrace it. I look forward to it. Yet I can get caught up in stuff and forget that I can change it and that I don't have to stay stuck.
I am empowered to make those changes when I surrender and turn them over to the God of my understanding.
What I had problems with was the knowledge to know the difference.
I would find myself, going around in circles, not knowing what to do; when all I had to do was stop, turn things over to my HP and let go and let God. It helped to know that a day can start any time. For this 24 Hours, I will try not to enforce my will and pray, Thy will be done. If I can't do that, then I can pray for the will to be willing.
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I was so fragmented and broken when I came into recovery. Slowly but surely, I changed and became whole. What it took in early recovery is not what I need in today. What I need to do in today is maintain my sobriety. At the beginning I was search for it and looking for what I need. Yet having said that, "I also need to look at what I need in today. What I thought I needed, may have changed. Just because it is something that served me for several years, doesn't mean it is still what I need in today. As you say, "I may have gotten comfortable, maybe something has worn out, not only it's welcome but it's use and needs to be replaced."
If I have a fear in today, it is that I won't notice. If I find a fear, like I faced three days ago, I know to take it to my God. I know that whatever happens will happen, fear or no fear. Best I think of goodness and draw it to me that to think the worst and attract it to me. I am a firm believer in the Power of Prayer.
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Posted on another site in 2004.
Worry is fear that hasn't said it's prayers. Something I had to keep aware of and act accordingly. I have to find acceptance before I can take action to change. It is generally my attitude, my complacency, my lack of faith, and unwillingness to do anything in the moment, and I want to sit in my stuff a little while or I don't like what I foresee I have to do to change. My magic magnifying mind can blow things all out of proportion and I get overwhelmed, and instead of taking action, I allow fear to paralyze me.
I had to let go of the paranoia, the old tapes and make new ones, old behaviours and habits which no longer serve me in today.