What will happen when and if I relapse? If you are thinking this, you are heading that way, if you don`t take precautions and connect with your God and work the program daily.
Quote:
AA Thought for the Day
May 21, 2006
Deadly Progression
For as long as I could remember,
I was shy, insecure, and full of fear.
When I drank that first time,
it was not so much what alcohol did for me,
it was what alcohol took away;
all my inadequacies, fears, and loneliness.
I never imagined that first drink as the beginning
of a deadly progression that would lead me
to death's door and the gates of hell.
With the benefit of hindsight,
I see that alcoholism called all the shots in my life.
Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, June 2006, p. 44. Reprinted with permission of The A.A. Grapevine, Inc.
Thought to Ponder....
Alcohol gave me wings to fly,
then it took away the sky.
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Recovery Related Acronym
D E A D = Drinking Ends All Dreams.
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Love this, it reminds me that even though I stopped using, my disease didn't go away. It is just there waiting for me to pick up and it is always there whispering in my year that I don't have a problem, everyone else has. This time it will be different, you haven't used for a long time, and so what if you picked up a few substitutions along the way, you are just F.I.N.E.
It is a spiritual program and started a spiritual quest at 1 year sober. I had so many messages from my past and from listening to all the members in AA, I had to look to see who my God was to me. Through that search and connecting with my God, I found myself. At the beginning it was in meetings and listening to the people who shared, later on the internet, yet it all amounts for me, to my connection with my God. He/She is as shown to me in today, and I am given that Divine Orderly Good, because my God give me Good Orderly Direction by showing me a new way of life and utilizes people, places and things to show me the way.
If I don't make that daily connection, I allow my disease to slip in be it by listening to people who are still acting out in their disease or by allowing blocks and walls to be erected to block me from that Spirit, and/or ignoring the lessons and experiences I am shown and prevent myself from growing by closing my mind.
My daily connection is the only defense I have against this disease. I also have to be aware that my disease is not one drug, I have used many things over the years and anything I put between me and my God, becomes my drug of choice in today.
It isn't the drug: alcohol, pills, relationships (fear of being alone), men (looking for attention), food, shopping, gambling (Nevada Tickets), work and busy. It is not the drug, that isn`t the issue, the problem is me. It was me long before I picked up my first drug that helped me to stuff and not allow me to feel. I always wanted to escape from my reality because it was fear and pain, and I spent most of my life looking outside of myself to make me feel better. The insanity of our disease, so much better to go within and get in touch with my Creator.
Addiction takes many forms.