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March 4

Step by Step

Today, extend a kindness to someone and watch out for expecting something in return, even a simple thank you. Ask if we are selfless if we expect something in return. At a meeting, am I overtly or unconsciously seeking approval or congratulations if I say how many 24 Hours of sobriety I have if it has no relevance to the discussion? Might I have a motive? If I volunteer to drive someone unemployed and whose jobless benefits have run out to a meeting, how service-oriented – what kind of 12-stepper – am I if I suggest a couple of bucks for gas? And if the occasion comes up that I receive a token for however many 24 Hours I have, do I want it presented to me standing behind the speaker’s podium, or do I prefer a private exchange with my sponsor? If I am honest enough to identify anything but a fully altruistic reason for my “service,” something is clearly wrong, maybe not enough to endanger my sobriety but certainly enough to crimp its quality. Today, if I get the opportunity to be of service to someone or if someone needs a simple kindness and if I feel a twinge of indignation or anger if I get nothing in return, may I be indignant at myself for my selfishness – and get to work on it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FACING PROBLEMS

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

~ Anonymous ~

We are constantly aware that problems aren’t burdens suffered by us alone. Since the beginning of time, all mankind has had to cope with problems. We need to remember to identify with others and their problems and not compare our problems to theirs to see who has the greater troubles. This will also eliminate self-pity during crises.

By accepting these difficulties, we can begin at once to seek advice from friends who have solved similar problems. By walking through problems without complaint instead of timidly trying to sneak around them, we will grow spiritually.

Problems won’t get rid of my character defects; problems expose them. By facing difficulties through the Program, I will grow spiritually.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.

~ Sally Koch ~

From its earliest days, the Twelve Step program began with the Twelfth Step. When the first recovering man in Ohio was tentatively making his way into sobriety, day by day, he quickly realized that his progress depended upon telling his story to other suffering alcoholics. He realized that by helping others, he was helping himself stay sober.

A fundamental rule of good mental health is to be helpful to others. We can do that by telling our story: where we were and how far we have come. But helpful-ness is an attitude. We can cultivate this attitude, looking for ways to be helpful while not taking on a caretaking role. Generosity of spirit in all our dealings with others, without looking for anything in return, creates a feeling of connection with others. Helping others can also dispel depression and self-pity.

Today I will look for ways to be helpful and generous to others.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I pray that my recovery be filled with dynamite and feathers. I pray that my recovery be filled with quiet laughter.

~ Jill Clark ~

Some lessons in life are painful. We may wish they’d all be easy and gentle, but if they were, we might not understand their value. Occasionally our Higher Power has to get our attention; we feel the pinch when that’s the case.

We deserve variety in our experiences. Our emotions are created to serve us, to teach us how to get the most from the events and the people in our lives. The invitation to respond with a less familiar emotion is a gift. It’s how we discover the many parts of ourselves. Until we know all of ourselves, we can’t really love any part of ourselves.

Praying for help to understand our experiences, praying for the willingness to appreciate the dynamite and feathers, will give us the helping hand we need.

I will experience the calm times and the storms. From both I’ll discover my purpose.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I don’t have to be alone with the pain

These days, I’m not sleeping well and I’m tired most of the time. I’m OK at work for a while, but then I can’t stop the memories and I can’t concentrate. At times I feel disconnected from the world. Some days I have to leave work and go home, where I feel guilty and alone with my illnesses. It’s hard not to think about using.

But it may not have to get so bad (and it doesn’t have to get any worse). When I manage to pause for a moment and take a deep breath, I realize I can call my sponsor and support person, my first lines of help. I can call them at work or at home. When I talk, they listen closely (even when I cry). I am grateful for their support. They care about me. I trust them – and need to let them help me more.

I will put together a list of my supportive friends and their telephone numbers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When we neglect caring for our body, we limit our life.

~ Maurice Hillary ~

The best gift we can give our mind and spirit is to nurture and care for our body. When our body is in healthy harmony, we are able to focus on our deeper needs and gifts. An uncared-for, out-of-tune body can demand all our attention and energy and leave little zest for the rest of living.

Sometimes we take our body for granted, expecting it to keep working well no matter how we feed it or how little fresh air, sleep, and exercise we give it. Sooner or later, that kind of neglect leads to limiting physical problems that can limit our spiritual, mental, and emotional lives.

It’s part of our sober work to learn how to love and care for our bodies so we can develop a daily physical maintenance program that will take us into the healthy years ahead.

Giving our body the respect it deserves will keep it friendly and on our side for life.

Today let me honestly assess my total physical condition and make plans to lovingly care for the temple that is my body.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is perhaps no more effective way to relieve psychic pain than to be in constant contact with another human being who understands what you are going through and can communicate such understanding to you.

~ Frederic Flach ~

One of the greatest benefits in recovery is the support of others. Without this support there would be no circle of fellowship.

This inclusive fellowship touches everyone, and you are an integral part. Just as there will be times when you need comfort, support, and someone to talk to, there will also be times when someone needs your comfort, support, and a listening ear.

How can you offer support? Listen to the challenges others say they are facing. Draw from your experience to let them know they are not alone. Recognize the strengths others cannot see in themselves by pointing out and vali-dating their progress. Offer a lighthearted outlook and as-sure others that ups and downs are a part of the recovery process. Set aside any desire to pass judgment about the actions of others. Refrain from giving advice, even when you feel you know the answers. Serve as a resource of positive energy. And offer guidance based upon the Twelve Steps and the lessons you have learned in your recovery.

Today I remember that recovery is a fellowship of supportive people.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Walk with the wise and be wise; mix with the stupid and be misled.

~ Proverbs ~

We may not believe we are wise. We may ask, “How could I be wise if I got myself into so much trouble and pain? How can I be wise if I now need the help of others to stay out of trouble and feel less pain?”

But what is wisdom? Very simply, it is good sense. It is the ability to make a choice that will be good for us. No one is born with wisdom. It is learned through trial and error. Just a glance into our past will assure us we have certainly had our share of trials and errors.

We have made a wise decision by joining the pro-gram. Because of this decision, our lives have become more manageable and less insane. We have learned of an all-wise Power greater than ourselves. We have be-come willing to turn our lives and our wills over to this Power.

We have become wise, for those who walk with this Power are wise.

Have I made wise decisions today? How can I use the program to gain greater wisdom?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Reaching a balance with sex

Sex has always been a problem for us in one way or another. Some of us had too much, some too little; some were immoral and some prudish about the whole thing. As with other areas of our lives, we need to be realistic about sex and learn to reach a balance with ourselves.

Taking “chastity vows” and “letting it all hang out” are both a little extreme. We find that the balance must be ours—not an institution’s or another’s views.

Have I found my balance with sex?

Lord, help me see that my attitude toward sex is between my Higher Power and me and not based on the views of others.

Today I will seek a better balance with sex by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I’ve been inside institutions, my family….

~ SUSAN GRIFFIN ~

Newcomer

There are some people at meetings who start their sharing by saying, “Hello, Family.” It sounds phony to me—do they really mean it? I don’t think I’ll ever really be a part of this community. It certainly doesn’t feel like a family to me.

Sponsor

I can understand your shying away from the word “family.” Our first addictive responses may have occurred when we were living with our family of origin. Some of us are angry at the kind of nurturing we received. Some of us wish we could help family members who need recovery; we feel disturbed at our inability to make that happen. Resentment, fear, shame, powerlessness, and a host of other feelings may surface in connection with our families.

We may not yet be willing to call others in recovery our “family.” We’re not required to. But we do need each other’s stories, service, and recovery. In time, our mistrust lessens, if we keep showing up and working the program. We may even begin to sense that we are members of a community.

Today, I depend on a group of people in recovery to keep coming back and sharing. I depend on myself, too, to participate in this process with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We have finally found a way to foil alcohol simply be refusing to look upon it as a beverage and rather as something to which we are allergic. We have found that we don’t have to drink; we have demonstrated that we can be happier without it.

Now that we are sober, how are we going to use our sobriety?

Can we sit back and bask in this newfound sunshine? Forget it, kid. Better men than you have tried it. If still you don’t believe it, go back to the gutter or the jail or the jitter-joint and ask those who tried that method.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) GOD: Giver Of Desires

2) Pain heals; abuse scars.

3) Depression is anger turned inward.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Help Me Remember

Lord,
Help me remember that nothing is going to happe to me today that You and I together can’t handle

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SPOTLIGHTS

To recognize failure intelligently is the first step toward building success.

Recognize success with thanksgiving, and build more success on that.

You can have anything in life that you really want, but you must be prepared to take the responsibilities that go with it.

God is ready the moment you are.

You really do not know John Smith; you only know the idea that you form of John Smith.

One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all (Ephesians 4:6).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

From Where?

No one reaches love with fear beside him.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Carla sat down with Brian, her newly hired business manager, and formulated a priority list of jobs that needed to be done. After the list was recorded, Brian handed the paper back to Carla and asked her to make one more distinction among the listed tasks: “Write an ‘F next to those jobs that you think need to be done immediately because you are in fear, and place a ‘J’ next to those jobs that proceed from joy and creativity.”

Fear is never a good reason to do anything. Any action born of fear cannot succeed, except as a lesson that fear does not work. Enthusiasm, delight, and service, on the other hand, are excellent motivations for endeavors, and they will attract tremendous support because you are investing in aliveness rather than self-protection.

We always get more of whatever energy we put out into the universe; our actions are less important than the beliefs and feelings that motivate them. At a world peace conference, an African priest told me, “In my hotel room I saw a big sign warning, ‘Be sure to keep your suitcase locked. Protect yourself from thieves.’ As I began to lock my suitcase, something did not feel right. I was not afraid of theft before I saw that sign, so why should I go into anxiety after reading it? It occurred to me that the problem of nuclear weapons stems from people protecting themselves before the bad guys get to them. I felt hypocritical being a speaker at a peace conference and buying into paranoia. I would have been contributing to the very energy I am trying to offset.”

While you must consult your own intuition about what you lock, the priest illuminated an important principle: When we act out of fear, we add to the sum total of darkness on the planet, and when we act from love, we bring light to the world.

I pray to stay on purpose. I am here to love.

I release fear and embrace trust.