[bluidkiti]

March 13

Step by Step

Today, pharmacology claims a vaccine may be pending in the treatment of alcoholism and other addictions. I won’t waste any thought on the myth that I might return to responsible drinking some day. An “addiction vaccine” may, in fact, treat and even stop addiction from developing. But any vaccine treats only physical dependency, and alcoholism is a three-pronged condition that also includes emotional and spiritual ailments. A vaccine, then, will do nothing for the psychology of addictive behaviors like drinking, gambling, over-eating and sexual obsession. Any “cure” that lets me slide by with drinking without the shakes, hangovers and dry heaves is worth nothing if the morning after still greets me with regret, remorse, shame or an appearance before a judge because of a DUI. Alcoholism is a three-edge sword of physical, emotional and mental dependency and, until there’s a vaccine to repair a damaged emotional and spiritual soul, I am never “cured.” Today, because an emotional and spiritual cure can’t be condensed in a syringe, I’ll stick with AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

WILLINGNESS

God is not willing to do everything and thus take away our free will and the share of glory which belongs to us.

~ Machiavelli ~

To be willing is to be ready and prepared. If we are willing, we are eager to accept even unfamiliar challenges if those challenges promise rewarding results.

Willingness is not to be confused with being wilful. Wilfulness can return us to our old habits of wanting everything our way and on our own terms. Willingness prepares us to accept responsibilities. It gives us courage to change our attitudes. It rids us of fears of living in an imperfect world.

We have become willing to practice the principles of the Program, willing to continue our spiritual progress, and willing to work at our new way of life.

I can always profit by being strong-willed, as long as that means “strong-willingness,” not hard-headedness.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

~ Marilyn vos Savant ~

Powerlessness and helplessness are two very different things. When we encounter something we cannot change and we pray to accept its truth, we gain the wisdom of powerlessness. The new reality that follows acceptance may transform us or teach us a new lesson.

Sometimes, however, we encounter something that can be changed, yet the challenge seems overwhelming. It’s natural to feel intimidated when facing a high mountain before us. We feel like running away or pre-tending it isn’t there, or we just want to lie down and give up. When we actually give in to those feelings and hide from the hard task, we choose helplessness, and nothing gets better.

Challenges rise up in everyone’s path. So we look squarely into the eye of the challenge before us today. We get to know its dimensions as well as we can see them. It may seem either daunting or small. We can choose to take one specific action that will move us a little closer to our goal. Just one small action keeps us from the condition of helplessness, of giving up.

Today I will do what I can in this one day, and it will be progress.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I wonder what my life would be like if I were to focus my energy and thoughts only on things that really matter.

~ Robbie Rocheford ~

We spend much of our precious time spinning our wheels. Our minds wander from thought to thought and person to person with no real sense of direction. Fortunately, we can develop the discipline of taking charge of our thoughts. We have merely to pause, quiet our minds, and focus. It’s a technique that we can hone, and practicing it empowers us. It also frees us to spend our precious moments on beneficial ideas or activities.

Our attitude about a task will determine our approach to it. It may seem impossible to be in charge of our thoughts, but that’s because we have never understood that we could responsibly and actively take control. Any negative thought can be stopped, even in midstream. And a replacement thought, such as “God is in charge,” can be substituted. The exhilaration we will feel at realizing the power of this technique is astounding. Our recovery will be enhanced many times over as we grow in our reliance on this tool.

I will pause throughout the day to clear my mind. Taking charge of my thoughts will be enlightening.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can share my mistakes and be OK

It was awhile before I could do a Fifth Step – I was afraid I’d be condemned as a bad person. I didn’t trust anyone enough.

But I’m glad to say that I was wrong. When I finally did my Fifth Step, I was not rejected or judged, as I thought I would be. Instead, my Fifth Step listener understood me – but more important, she accepted me. I felt relief. I felt humble. I felt grateful.

When I go to sleep tonight, I will say a prayer to acknowledge my courage and my faith.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Knowledge is power.

~ Francis Bacon ~

When we were actively addicted, we didn’t know what was wrong with us. We tried to control our addiction over and over again, always failing. When we began to recover, we knew we had to surrender, to admit we were powerless, but we didn’t know how to go on from there, how to live our lives to maintain sobriety.

The next step was listening to people in our Twelve Step groups tell their stories. They told us their secrets, their successes, their failures. They told us how they were changing their lives. We accepted the help and support of a Higher Power. We were becoming spiritual. We read books and pamphlets about addiction and slowly acquired the tools to live without chemicals or compulsive behaviors.

As we become more confident in recovery, we test our powers more each day, learning from each effort how to handle situations in the future.

Early in recovery we knew almost nothing. Over time, we’ve learned how to change our lives from pain and misery to hope and joy and new growth. For us, knowledge is power indeed.

Today help me be open to new ideas and experiences that can further enrich my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

~ Dennis Wholey ~

Some of life’s lessons are hard. Just because you are honest with others does not mean they will be honest with you. Just because you hold the door for someone or let someone go ahead of you in traffic does not mean another will do those same things for you. Just because you make time for a person in need does not mean you will be given similar attention. And just because you have stopped using does not mean your family or a loved one will stop criticizing you.

Expecting others to acknowledge the hard work you are doing in recovery and provide you with praise or support—particularly from those you have harmed in the past—is like waiting at an airport for a cruise ship to arrive.

Expectations are unmet desires. Rather than be sur-prised or disappointed when others do not behave or respond to you in the same way you have treated them, let go of the desire or expectation.

If I feel good about myself, praise and recognition from others is not necessary. If I treat others well and attend to those things I need, I can feel good about myself.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The secret to not being hurt like this again, I decided, was never depending on anyone, never needing, never loving. It is the last dream of children, to be forever untouched.

~ Audre Lorde ~

How wonderful it would be if we could never be hurt for the rest of our lives! Imagine never again having to experience the physical and emotional pain of death or loss or change. We might think that all would be well for us, once the potential for any hurt is removed.

Yet hurt is part of the cycle of growth and learning. We had to skin our knees in order to finally ride a bi-cycle. We had to miss a longed-for event in order to learn how much it meant to us. We had to grieve over the loss of someone dear to us in order to learn how much love we felt.

There are no assurances that we’ll never be hurt again. We all feel physical and emotional pain at one time or another. What is assured is that we can ease our pain through the faith and trust we have in ourselves and in our Higher Power.

Have I been living in a never-never land today, shutting myself off from people for fear I’ll be hurt?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing our ways

We must be willing to grow in understanding. When we were using chemicals we understood everything in one way, a way that caused us pain and misery. When we quit drinking or using other drugs, we began to see things in another way.

This new way of seeing things means we’ve had to make some changes in our way of living, and any new way of thinking means new ways of being. Are we willing to make the changes in our living that correspond with our new ways of thinking?

Am I changing my ways of living?

Higher Power, give me the courage, belief, and willingness I need to allow change to take place in my life.

One way of living that I will change today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is improper for us to stoop in order to please.

~ JEAN PAUL SARTRE ~

Newcomer

I used to be arrogant about everything. I always had to be right. I constantly feared that people were trying to take advantage of me. Now I listen to others, take suggestions, and try to be helpful. I’m constantly being guided by other people—I guess I’ve turned my will over.

Sponsor

Turning our will and our lives over to the care of another human being may not be such a good idea. Sponsors, therapists, doctors, teachers, people practicing Twelve Step recovery—any of them may give us useful guidance, but they are all human. We can listen to what they have to say, keeping an open mind. But people in recovery don’t automatically get wisdom or sainthood conferred on them. People aren’t perfect, and they couldn’t possibly all know what’s best for us; otherwise they’d all agree.

As we accumulate sober experience, we get better at trusting our own instincts, something that may have been a source of danger when we were active in our addictions. We learn from experience what’s good for us, what nourishes us and brings us peace and joy.

It’s not a spiritually sound practice to turn people, even those we respect and love, into our Higher Power. “Turning it over” includes trusting our inner guidance, acting responsibly, and accepting that we can’t control outcomes.

Today, I look within and trust my truth.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When God makes a tree it is exactly the species, size and shape He intended it to be. Nothing the tree can do will alter it in the slightest degree.

God, however, in His Wisdom, created man with all perfection, yet allows him to make of himself what he will. He gave us independent minds and wills because He intended that we, the highest form of all living beings, should work out our own mental and moral evolution from mortality to immortality.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Play as if everything depended on God; work as if everything depends on ourselves.

2) You only have to go to meetings until you want to go to meetings.

3) HALO: Helping A Loved One

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Unselfishness Prayer

Higher Power, guide me as I walk the narrow way between being selfish and unselfish. I know I must be selfish, to concentrate on my own recovery, so I do not slip and be of no use to myself or anyone else. Yet I must also be unselfish, reaching out to others, sensitive to their needs, and willing to meet them at any time. With Your help, I can do both, and keep a balance that will give me a proper perspective in my life.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DIG DEEPER

The study of the Bible is not unlike the search for diamonds in South Africa. At first people found a few diamonds in the yellow clay, and they were delighted with their good fortune, even while they supposed that this was to be the full extent of their find. Then, upon digging deeper, they came upon the blue clay, and to their amazement found as many precious stones in a day as they had previously found in a year.

In your exploration of Bible Truth, see to it that you do not rest satisfied in the yellow clay of a few spiritual discoveries, but press on to the rich blue clay underneath. The Bible, however, differs from the diamond field in the sublime fact that beneath the blue clay there are more and still more richer strata, awaiting the touch of spiritual perception—on and on to Infinity.

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! (Romans 11:133).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Way Out

Live for another if you wish to live for yourself.

~ Seneca ~

“I just called to let you know how much I love you,” a friendly voice resonated over the telephone.

“Thank you, Cliff—I really appreciate that,” I responded.

“I’ll tell you why I called now,” continued Cliff. “My knee was hurting, and I know the only way I can feel better is to give love.”

Just as it is impossible to whistle and chew crackers at the same time, you cannot give love and be depressed. A Course in Miracles teaches that there are only two emotions, love and fear; at any moment we are experiencing one or the other. The surest antidote to pain, self-pity, loneliness, or depression is to reach out to give love or help someone. Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear, recounts that if he began to feel depressed, he would call someone who was ill or visit a nursing home. I learned the same lesson when teaching. On many occasions I would feel tired, upset, or self-involved when scheduled to teach. If I hadn’t been obligated to be there, I probably would have stayed balled up in my own little world. Going to teach and being present for the students always shifted my attitude. By the end of the class, after giving of myself I would feel 100 percent better, and I would wonder how I could have ever felt so troubled.

Studies have shown that people in nursing homes and rehabilitation centers heal more quickly when they have a pet or plants to care for. The act of giving love is nurturing to the soul.

Should you feel separate, make a list of people to whom you could give love through a phone call, visit, or other act of kindness. Simply making this list will lift you immeasurably, and acting on it will change your life.

I pray to reach out beyond my separateness and discover that my healing is joined with service.

Love heals me as I give it.