So often we don't recognize things as abuse. The situation is comfortable, something we know, and often starts in childhood, and we move on from one abusive situation to another.
When I was using, I never had a chance to grieve because I stuffed my feelings and shut down so I didn't remember when.
I had to trust the process and apply the program in order to heal.
The scary part for me was that the abused, often becomes the abuser.