[bluidkiti]

March 12

Step by Step

Today, let me not forget that my character is one of extremes. One drink wasn’t enough, so it became so many to skyrocket me into oblivion. Anger wasn’t expressed in acceptable forms and instead became spontaneous explosions of verbal or physical abuse. Love was obsessive and possessive instead of allowing those I “loved” to be themselves and not what I demanded they be. When I was drunk, I was the best thing to happen to anyone but, the morning after, I was the worst that happened to them – and myself. In apologizing, either I expected not just acceptance but praise for being “big” to apologize in the first place, or I was so self-defeating that I prefaced apologies with, “I wouldn’t blame you if …” Today, when I am faced with responding to anything, let me remember the steps and principles of surrender of self and will to a higher power, of humility, gratitude and selflessness, and of service in reacting with neither expectation of unreasonable returns nor with self-defeatism. Today, I am sober. I am free to be what I am. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TRUTH

If you don’t tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.

~ Viginia Woolff ~

Truth, like all precious things, can be both given and accepted joyously. But we will give it only after much examination of our motives and the possible effect on the person who receives it. Hastily offered truth can be more harmful than silence.

If truth can motivate either healing or growth in a friend, we can’t hesitate to speak it, even if it makes us uncomfortable. May we also gratefully accept truths about ourselves from others. We will know they are offered as gifts. We shall always try to speak the truth with love. Love and truth complement each other. Love without truth is sentimentality; truth without love is cruelty.

I will be careful when I speak the truth, trying to be helpful and not hurtful to others.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Fear will assault us, but we will not be afraid.

~ Rabbi Harold S. Kushner ~

Worry and concern are among our biggest challenges as we follow our paths. Nothing can finally and completely shield us from the vulnerabilities and unknowns. We may be haunted by experiences from our past when our safety and security were stripped away. In the back of our minds, we carry images of chaotic moments. Now we are seeking something called peace of mind and serenity—but we have to find a way to do that in the face of universal insecurity.

Many of us feel innocent about our controlling behavior because we think we are only trying to make everyone safe and secure. The practice of a good life requires us to learn attitudes and understandings that help us let go of fear when it assaults us. This means that we turn to our spiritual foundation, knowing that we are never alone and that even though we cannot control everything, the forces of a Power greater than ourselves also move in our best interest. We can quiet our minds by cultivating a close relationship with our Higher Power.

Today I will walk my path, knowing that my Higher Power is beside me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The subconscious … works to create the reality according to the programming it has been fed.

~ Susan Smith Jones ~

The mind is seldom quiet. Even when we don’t think we are thinking, we are. Our lives reflect our thoughts. It should be obvious that the way to get a better life is to think better thoughts. If it’s that easy, why don’t we have more productive, joy-filled lives?

As youngsters we learned to interpret the faces and the comments of those close to us. That helped us determine how to evaluate ourselves. If we received a glut of criticism when we were young, we may think poorly of ourselves as adults.

Just as the messages we heard in the past told us who we were, the messages we hear now do likewise. But as adults, we can now decide which messages to accept: some we should cherish, many we should discard. We have the maturity now to replace them at will.

I don’t have to accept how anyone defines me today. I can give myself only positive input. My output will reflect it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

When I “think bad,” I feel bad

I just realized how much I’ve been silently talking to myself. I’m surprised at how negative this self-talk is. I’ve been hearing self-defeating thoughts such as I’m so alone and I’m never going to get well. I can see how these thoughts could keep me down.

Maybe this is what my friend was getting at when he asked me if I was ever too hard on myself.

Maybe he’s got a point. I could try the simple slogan he suggested: Stop! It sounds like it could help me deal better with my negative self-talk.

When I hear any negative self-talk today, I will write it down in my notebook along with a realistic counter thought.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

What we plant in the soil of contemplation we shall reap in the harvest of action.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

We all know someone who always has a new plan of action when it comes to their life work but never seems to do anything about it. Maybe we’ve been this way. In the past we simply didn’t have the tools to make the changes we dreamed about, so we probably didn’t get very far. Now, if we are guilty of more talk than action, it helps to remember that all changes, even good ones, are uncomfortable at first. It’s easier to talk about looking for work than actually pounding the pavement and facing rejection. It’s easier to promise now and act later.

In recovery, though, we’re learning how to “walk the walk” and not just “talk the talk.” We’re learning that reliance upon our Higher Power enables us to take reasonable risks. We’re learning that making mistakes doesn’t mean we are a mistake. And we’re learning to trust our thoughts, our feelings, our instincts. When we are one with ourselves we cannot go wrong. Our Higher Power won’t let us.

Now we can think about things and do them, too.

Today help me act.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast withers as rapidly; that which grows slowly endures.

~ Josiah Gilbert Holland ~

In early spring, ripe tomatoes are found in grocery stores. Garden shops have hundreds of flowers in bloom. Such things have been grown in hot houses with controlled temperatures and highly enriched soil.

A tomato that has slowly ripened outdoors in the natural sun and soil is far tastier than one that has been ripened in a factory. The exquisite beauty of flowers is more breathtaking when the result of a normal cycle of growth.

It has often been said that there is no elevator to recovery; you must take the Steps. There is no “twelve and done” process that signals completion. Working through the Steps is something that requires more than one visit to ensure recovery. Even though our world moves at a fast pace—with e-mail, drive-through windows, on-demand movies, and more—your recovery needs to grow and flourish over time. Staying clean and sober is more than just a matter of putting away the bottle and the drugs. It requires daily tending, constant care, and patience.

Today I will slow down my desires and try not to push things too quickly. With care and attentiveness, I will create an enduring recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Most of us spend 59 minutes in an hour living in the past with regret for lost joys, or shame for things badly done . . . or in a future which we either long for or dread.

~ Storm Jameson ~

Do we often travel through life accompanied by the ghosts of our past, present, and future? Instead of focusing on the events in our present journey, we may find ourselves diverted by thoughts of what once was, what we haven’t done, and what we may never do.

As long as we travel this way, we will miss a good part of each minute. We will not learn to use our present time to its utmost: to experience, listen, feel, learn, plan, and grow.

The ghosts of the past, present, and future are crutches we lean on when we’re too weak to use our own resources. We can be strong if we learn to rely on ourselves, our Higher Power, and our companions in life.

How can I live in each minute without thoughts of the past or future?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Believing in abstinence

When we came to the fellowship, some of us weren’t sure that we were “addicts.” We knew we were unhappy. We knew we drank and used drugs too much, but we didn’t know whether we used chemicals too much because we were unhappy or whether we’re unhappy because we used chemicals too much.

It was suggested to us that we try not using drugs along with working the Twelve Steps to see if our lives changed. They did! We have come to believe that there is no problem that taking a drink, fix, or pill will not make worse.

Am I convinced that abstinence is the only way?

Higher Power, help me carry the message that if we simply don’t take a drink, pill, or fix, our lives will change for the better.

Today I will carry the message of abstinence to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

A beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed.

~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS ~

Newcomer

I don’t have much faith in anything. How can I possibly take Step Three, turn my will and my life over to the care of God—even “God as we understood Him”—when I’m having so much difficulty believing and trusting? Where do you people get your faith? Is it for real?

Sponsor

You’re not alone in thinking you lack faith; many of us entered recovery feeling that way. But, in fact, we do have faith, even if we ourselves can’t see it yet: faith that this program can help us with the problem of our addictions.

Our willingness to try recovery is a significant beginning. By showing up, we’ve begun to take Step Three. Whatever our creed, or our refusal to embrace one, we do have the willingness to try this program. What eventually may come from this beginning is not something we have to worry about. The actions we take today are all we need concern ourselves with. In the present, our willingness to follow the program frees us from having to depend on an addiction.

Today, I begin to act out of faith that this program works.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The mind of man is unable to approximate the untold millions of dollars that have been spent by us alcoholics in the futile chase after happiness, only to find what we purchased was not happiness but misery, want, illness and despair.

By calling off off the hunt, by quitting our quest for fun that we had always believed hid in the bottom of a bottle, we found happiness. The price of this happiness was only that we give happiness to others and we learned that the more we gave the more we had. We could eat our cake and have it too.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) When you’re down, take a Step and then the Step takes you.

2) Keep an attitude of gratitude.

3) A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

To Change

I pray that I may continue to change, and I appreciate You for investing in me Your time, Your patience, Your understanding; and for seeing in me someone worthwhile. I am sorry for the past—but I will change for the better, and I am grateful for the opportunity.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CAST THY BURDEN

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the rightious to be moved (Psalm 55:22).

We sometimes hear the expression used, “cast the burden,” and it is useful to consider what this phrase really means. Used intelligently, it is one of the great keys to spiritual victory. To cast the burden means really to insist upon harmony and peace of mind, and to cease from worry and anxiety there and then.

If, when you are faced with trouble, whether it be old or new, you can affirm positively the harmony of being and then refuse to reopen the case, no matter how much fear may urge you to do so, you have cast your burden upon the Lord, and you will win.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Rocks or Light?

Tour task is not to seek for love, but to find the barriers in yourself that you have built against it.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

The Hawaiian spiritual tradition teaches that every child born into this world is like a “bowl of light” containing the radiance of heaven. If rocks are placed into the bowl, the light of original innocence is hidden. Fear, guilt, and unworthiness are some of the stones that mask our true brilliance. The more rocks in our bowl, the less light we shine. Angry, nasty, or irksome people have lots of rocks in their bowls, while radiant, happy, and joyful people have few.

The game of enlightenment is not about going out and getting something we do not have or becoming something we are not. We are already enlightened; we have simply covered our wisdom. We started out fine; then we got de-fined; now we must be re-fined.

Health, happiness, and success are our birthright, and we carry all we need within us to manifest all the good we seek. But first we must remove everything from our consciousness that works against the full expression of what we are.

What rocks are in your bowl? Begin to note the beliefs and attitudes you hold that stand between you and the light that you are. When you act out of fear or self-doubt, you add more rocks to your bowl. When you let go of one of these impediments, you release your true essence to shine.

Help me to release anything that stands between me and the expression of the light that I am. I claim my identity and inheritance as a being of splendid light.

I am as God created me. I am the light of the world.