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December 5

Step by Step

Today, religious vs. spiritual experience. “We are taught religion, but we are born of the spirit.” In recovery, considering a spiritual awakening, am I supposed to guide my program to a religion if I have have none? Not at all. A religious conversion means only that I have embraced a set of beliefs and canons that have been defined by the founders or administrators of an organized religion. This does not mean I live by that standard, however. A spiritual awakening, on the other hand, can be something as simple as seeing a truth about myself that I never saw before. I may not even realize I have had a spiritual awakening until I see, one day, that I have given up my character defects in favor of the program’s goals of selflessness and release from resentments, anger and fear. Today, I can understand that religion and spiritual maturity are parallel train tracks that never intersect, that one can have both religion and spirituality, or religion without spirituality, and spirituality without religion. Unlike my religious development, my spiritual awareness comes from within me, not outside. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BELIEVING

When we surrendered to our Higher Power, the journey began.

~ Anonymous ~

Many of us had trouble believing that a God existed when we began our recovery program, because for years we thought we were the master of our own affairs. We paid attention to no desires or wishes but our own.

When we realized how much help we needed, we first looked to other members and our group for support. By rejecting at first the idea of a Power higher than our-selves, many of us did accept the idea of a Power other than ourselves. As we have made spiritual progress, most of us now have a clear and ongoing belief in a Higher Power that we call God.

It is important to our recovery to rely on God, as our own belief in a Higher Power is what can and does save us from our addiction. Only two of the Steps talk about addiction. The other ten talk about spiritual growth.

I have a firm foundation for spiritual health and spiritual progress when I continue to believe in my Higher Power.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Our minds go racing about like horses running wild in the fields, while our emotions remain unmanageable, like monkeys swinging in the trees.

~ Dogen Zenji ~

When we follow the guidance to pray and meditate every day, we see how busy our minds and emotions are. Often we react out of our emotions, not even knowing we are doing so and believing we are totally rational. The wildness of our inner world is universal and human. Our development as men means taming those horses and monkeys, making friends with them, and training them to work for us rather than running off in all directions.

We grow by getting to know our feelings and thoughts. Emotions are no longer a mystery to us. We can talk about them and express them to trusted friends. After we have come to know what we feel and think, we are less at their mercy and less likely to react on impulse. We know what we are dealing with and we can choose how we will respond.

Today I am getting to know those wild horses and monkeys in my mind.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Every relationship is a teacher. If I don’t learn the lesson, the teacher will come back.

~ Brenda M. Schaeffer ~

We get as many chances as we need to master the lessons destined for us in this life. That’s good. It removes some of the anxiety about not getting everything right the first time. While it may not be easy to admit we are relearning an old lesson, the women who share our experiences in recovery understand. And there is no shame attached, except that which we haven’t yet learned to shed.

There is a positive way to meet the return of a familiar lesson. We must be willing to give it a try once again. Then we need to have faith that we’re ready to make progress.

Life is relationship. We can’t avoid it. We can learn to love and to accept love through relationships. We can know forgiveness through them too. Mastering these lessons is all our Higher Power hopes for us.

I am a willing student today. I will expect an important lesson from every relationship.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to admit a mistake

When I make a mistake, it's hard for me to admit it. I get mad at myself (or mad at everyone else). I get embarrassed and feel ashamed. Sometimes I fear rejection or punishment, even when the mistake is small.

But my Twelve Step program is helping me. At meetings, I regularly see people admitting their problems, acknowledging their flaws, and talking about mistakes they've made during the week. I see that it's OK to make a mistake, that it's OK to admit it, and most of all, I see that doing this helps. I am learning that this program is about forgiveness.

Today I will look at myself in the mirror and admit one of my mistakes to myself.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

~ Aldous Huxley ~

We may have many bits of unfinished business in our lives. For a long time we ignored everything but our addiction. But that did not make the other things go away.

Sometimes it seems an overwhelming task to clear up old debts, old hurt, old sources of pain. It’s too much, we think. We don’t believe we can make a big enough difference in it today. But we can. All we need to do is make a beginning.

By paying attention to old business we also pay attention to the new. When we begin today to do what we can to clear the slate — by making a payment on a bill or making amends — we are taking a step on the road to clarity, to living in the present, to a life that’s less cluttered by old baggage. Each time we cross one item off our list of things to finish we lighten our load and make room for growth. Whether we are accepting a painful consequence of our addiction or returning a long-overdue library book, we are taking action, showing our willingness to get better.

Today let me begin to clear up old business.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desire can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

~ Ayn Rand ~

Long ago, a king placed a large boulder on a narrow road, then he hid to watch what the people would do. Some people skirted the boulder by walking through brush on the sides of the road. Others saw the obstacle and simply turned around.

A peasant came along and leaned his shoulder into the rock, pushing it with all of his might. Several minutes passed as he slowly inched the boulder off to the side of the road. When he had cleared the road, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. Inside the purse were gold coins and a note from the king: “Whosoever moves the boulder has earned this reward.”

What this story illustrates is that every obstacle placed along the paths you travel in life presents you with an opportunity. The travelers who came upon the boulder before the peasant avoided the opportunity or ignored it. Great riches can come from your willingness to take action whenever you confront an obstacle. The effort you make can enrich your understanding of your capabilities.

My actions will show there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness.

~ Faith Baldwin ~

Because we are fragile and sensitive, we may feel like our progress is more steps backward than for-ward. We can take pride in our gains, but losses have a way of throwing us into a tailspin.

We may be progressing nicely in recovery, when one person says, "I don't like what you're doing." Suddenly our self-image changes from that of hope and faith to depression and despair. We become uncertain and confused about where we're going and what we're doing. How much do we value that person's opinion?

Before we let one person break our fragile self- esteem, we need to remember that person's opinion is only one of many. We need to trust our own opinion. Then we need to trust the guidance and support of people familiar with the program and do the character building we wish to do. Then we will find ourselves taking more steps forward and fewer backward.

Tonight I need to remember some people who mean a lot to me but who will never understand or support my new life. I can still care for them, but I don't need to seek their approval.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living a clean life

When we talk about being clean and sober, we’re not talking about any kind of trance, ecstasy, or high. We’re not talking about the aloof, alienated philosopher who withdraws from society nor the rigid, unbending fanatic who screams for temperance. The sobriety and cleanness we refer to is not an extreme. It’s living well one day at a time.

We enjoy our children and friends, live life to the fullest, and are engaged in many activities. Some of us are great lovers, husbands, wives, or leaders. We all, at times, suffer anguish and doubt. No, we are not drawn away from life but to it.

Am I living today well?

Higher Power, let your irresistible burning love shine through me.

Today my plan for living well is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Ignorance and conceit go hand in hand.

~ THE TALMUD ~

Newcomer

Now that I'm in recovery, it's amazing how much active addiction I can see around me. It's all over the place. Friends, family members, co-workers—more people than I realized have the same problem I have. There's one person in particular I wish I could help. Before coming into recovery, I didn't realize that she was on such a self-destructive path.

Sponsor

Once we have an insight into our own addictions, we begin seeing it everywhere. It's not hard to find: addiction is a widespread problem in our culture. We're excited about the changes that we're experiencing in our own lives, and we want to help others.

Many of us, in our enthusiasm, start to diagnose every-one around us. We may be accurate in our perceptions, or we may be mistaken. There are people who can safely do things that aren't safe for us. Or perhaps they have issues similar to ours, but are far from hitting bottom. In our zeal, we may do more harm than good. Spreading the news where it isn't wanted may make others feel uncomfortable about the program, change their minds about giving it a try, or postpone coming to a meeting.

This is a self-diagnosed disease. Who gets sober, and when, is not for us to decide. When we find that we're be-coming preoccupied with other people's recovery, it's time to pay closer attention to our own.

Today, I keep the focus on my own recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A man once ridiculed me in front of a large class in school and I have hated his guts ever since. That was thirty-five years ago and I do not know whether he is dead or alive. If he was aware of my intense dislike it certainly never bothered him but it certainly bothers me even now. His face springs up in my memory and I begin to hate him all over again. This situation is just pure dumbness; I'm not hurting him but I am distressing myself.

God teach me to forgive as I hope to be forgiven.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Strengthen Me

Lord, I am an empty vessel that needs to be filled.
My Lord, fill it.
I am weak in faith; strengthen me.
I am cold in love, warm me and make me
enthusiastic—
That my love may go out to my neighbor.
I do not have a strong and firm faith;
At times I doubt and am unable to trust you.
O Lord, help me.
Strengthen my faith and trust in You.

~ Adapted from writings by Martin Luther ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PRAISE AND AFFIRMATION

Read Psalm 27.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me; therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.

This verse closes the first section with a burst of praise and thanksgiving and then moves into a form of supplication that is really affirmative. Praise and affirmation should be allied.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

The Psalmist now prays for spiritual understanding and for peace of mind. The enemies, as always, are his own fears, and these fears take their rise in the fact that "false witnesses" rise up and confront him. And no one who has been through this experience will doubt the appropriateness of that telling phrase that our fears are things "such as breath out cruelty." Verily, doubt and fear are the cruelest things that can come into the life of man.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Make a Stand

Life is a great big canvas—throw on it all the paint you can.

~ Danny Kaye ~

At a seminar, a man confessed, “I was afraid to tell my friends no, because I feared they would not like me if I did, but then I realized I didn’t have any friends because no one knew who I was.”

For a long time, I was afraid to tell the truth, for I feared I would be rejected if I did. Then I discovered that I had paid the dear price of intimacy. In my fear that I would be unlovable if people knew who I was, I found that I was unreachable because I was unknown.

No matter what you say or do, there will be people who agree and disagree, those who like you and don’t like you. It’s unrealistic to expect that everyone is always going to approve of you. The only person whose approval really counts is your own.

I once sent out a newsletter mailing with the tongue-in-cheek return address of “Immaculate Cohenceptions.” To my surprise, I received several angry letters, including one from a convent, complaining that I had insulted Catholicism. Since my intention was harmless, I felt unnerved by this reaction, and I voiced my concern at a retreat I was conducting.

A man named Scott offered this comment: “Alan, one of the things I love most about you is your sense of humor; I have found it to be very healing. If you shut down on your creativity because you’re afraid of a few reactions, then I must tell you that I will be disappointed in you, probably along with a bunch of other folks.”

Suddenly I realized that there is no way I’m going to please everyone. I might as well just be who and what I am, and trust that the universe will support me for my authenticity. As an old tombstone in Texas reads, “Be what you is, ‘cuz if you is what you ain’t, you ain’t what you is.”

I pray to know and trust that You created me in wisdom and goodness.

I live from my heart. Sincerity is my key to success.