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“The Handicapped”

"We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 125~

Alcoholics are sensitive people? Sensitive to what? Well we certainly were not sensitive to other people’s feeling. We seem to be sensitive to things that we make up in our minds. The statement above means that things that are either said, done, or maybe nothing at all, may hurt us emotionally.

How can we be hurt emotionally by something that hasn’t happened? If you really think about it, there are certain things that are made up in our minds that have yet to be proven real. To be real they would have had to have happened. In this case they don’t. These feelings that we feel in this case are called imaginary resentments. In the Big Book they are referred to as “wrong doing of others, fancied or real” (Alcoholics Anonymous page. 66). Well I’m here to tell you that all resentments are imaginary. Here’s how I will prove it.

If someone says or does something to you that you do not like, chances are you will immediately feel anger. This is a normal human response. But if you keep on feeling that anger because of the actions of another human being, where does that feeling come from? It comes from nowhere else but your mind!!!! If you choose to keep feeling that anger after the action it becomes something mental.

Oh you say, “What about physically abuse or something of that sort”? Well it is like this, you only feel a certain amount of physical pain from that type of abuse. The problem exists beyond that. It is the emotional pain that follows that becomes the problem.

Sure it is not a very nice thing when someone hurts someone else physically or mentally, but this is not what the alcoholic’s problem stems from. We react in our mind to the way other people act. This reaction is to a emotional response to an imagined scenario. It is the mental disability caused by re-sensing anger and fear from the imaginary. Oh yeah! If you have a mental disability you are said to be “Handicapped”.

This is a serious handicap, because if the alcoholic cannot over come this dysfunction of the imagination, they are doomed to drink again. To drink again for an alcoholic is for them to sign their own death warrant.

How do we conquer the imagination? It seems to me that we must start by differentiating between what is true and what is false. The problem is the alcoholic has a hard time differentiating true and false according to Dr. Silkworth ( Dr.’s Opinion page, xxvi Alcoholics Anonymous). So us alcoholics have to look beyond ourselves for help.

It has been impossible for a human being to instill the ability for differentiating true and false into another, so we must look beyond human help in doing so. This help has to come from a Higher Power, from the One who instilled this ability with-in us in the first place. It is He who will give it back to us. This One is God, may you find Him now!

For those who fail to recognize this, they are like children who refuse to give up on their imaginary friend. The longer they refuse to be willing to ask for God’s help, the longer they are condemned to building up imaginary feelings. They are confined with-in their own mind. Outside of reality! Handicapped!

The key to this is the word outgrow. In A.A. we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. Ours is a spiritual progression, not a spiritual perfection. It is those who come to an understanding of this, who will outgrow this serious handicap.
--Ed C.