[bluidkiti]

July 12

Step by Step

"I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 10.

Today, if I resist the possibility of a higher power, maybe I can re-frame the question to prove or disprove the possibility. As Bill W. wrote, he maintained - possibly intuitively despite years of alcoholic drinking - a sense of "purpose and rhythm" in spite of "contrary indications." Can I honestly believe the immensity of the entire universe is nothing more than a force of spontaneous elements that collided to produce all that it encompasses? And, realistically, is it by accident or "harmony" that these dynamics maintain a consistency to sustain not only life but the universe itself? To believe that may be a bigger stretch than to acknowledge the possibility of a higher power. How and why the question relates to my recovery, even a hope for one, is simple: if I cannot or will not consider a higher power, or even a higher intelligence, how effective can I be in accepting the program's first step of admitting "(I am) powerless ...?" Today, I'll take a leap of blind faith and believe that if alcohol can be stronger than me, something can be stronger than alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BELIEVING

I came; I came to; I came to believe.

~ Anonymous ~

We hear repeatedly that belief is acceptance of truths without proof. We are always tempted to demand proof. God has granted us logic and we think we are expected to use it. And we are, except when it comes to proving God's existence. Then we are expected to act in faith. Many of us began to use our Higher Power before we began to understand it.

Proof is sometimes tricky. For instance, after we hear terrifying stories from those who decide to “go out” and try using again, we don't have to follow their example in order to prove them right or wrong. We can trust their experience.

The only proof we need that the Program works ii to look around at the old-timers in our Fellowship and to listen to their stories of the way it was and the way it is now.

Faith in the recovery power of the Steps keeps me mindful that one of them begins “came to believe.” Unless I maintain my belief and faith in the Steps, I am in danger of suffering a relapse.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Before talking of holy things, we prepare ourselves by offering... One will fill his pipe and hand it to the other who will light it and offer it to the sky and the earth... They will smoke together... Then we will be ready to talk.

~ Mato-Kuwapi, Santee Yankton Sioux ~

Rituals prepare us for moments of spiritual experience. They bring people together; they mark occasions; they give us metaphors through our senses that expose us to mystery, awe, peace, and wisdom. Traditional spiritual practices all use ritual to reach toward God. In our meetings we also have rituals that accomplish these things.

We may have dismissed ritual in our cynical minds, thinking of it as irrelevant hocus-pocus. But when we seek connection with other people, or with God, we learn that ritual is a way to set our cynical minds aside and open ourselves to the presence. Even in our private time of prayer and meditation, we may light a candle as a sign of our spiritual search.

Today I will honor the rituals that create conscious contact

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

One step at a time may seem too slow some days.

~ Kay Marie Porterfield ~

Impatience is certainly not a virtue. However, we frequently display it as though it were: if we don’t get some task done right now, we will have failed for all time. How many backfired circumstances must we have before we get the message?

When we came into this recovery program, we may have heard that there would always be enough time to accomplish what God intends us to do. Those of us who looked back at failed attempts doubted the truth of this wisdom. But we are coming to believe it now. In time, all the simple messages seem to come true.

The slogans are excellent examples of this. “One day at a time, one step at a time” will never fail us. We will handle whatever comes to us if we follow that advice.

I will accomplish what I need to today, on time, if I let my Higher Power be in charge.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I know that abstinence is critical to my recovery

When I used mood-altering chemicals, I felt as though I was rejecting myself and even rejecting others who wanted to help me. Sometimes I felt weak and out of control because I knew I was hurting myself and couldn't seem to stop.

But when I'm abstinent from chemicals, I still feel stress. At times I get irritable and anxious and don't sleep well. At times I think about using again. It's a struggle. But at least when I'm abstinent, I don't have to feel guilty or ashamed. I feel clearer about my dual recovery. I know I'm doing the right thing. And the struggle is worth it.

When I feel cravings, I will promptly apply the tools of my program to deal with them.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The day shall not be up so soon as I,
To try the fair adventure of tomorrow.

~ William Shakespeare ~

Somehow, probably because of all the grim business of addiction, we became very rigid. We learned not to trust ourselves, so we became frightened of taking risks. In recovery, we have a chance to re-establish our trust. Using the tools of recovery, we can plan an adventure with confidence. Life without adventure is like a sunset with no colors.

By nature, many of us are controllers. Adventure requires us to give up a little control, and that’s scary. But we can learn to let go. When we make a routine, we can ask ourselves, “Is there another way to do this?” When the chance for adventure comes, we can ask, “Why not?”

We’re healthier every new day we spend in recovery. We’ve replaced sickness with health, insanity with sanity, and desperation with spiritual peace. Using these tools of recovery, adventure can again bring safe fun and excitement to our lives every day.

Today help me try something new. Help me welcome, not fear, adventure.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.

~ Betty Friedan ~

While recovery is all about relationships—with others in the fellowship, with your sponsor, with your Higher Power, and the one you must build or rebuild with yourself— there are some relationships that should be avoided.

Whether you are new to recovery or have been involved for some time, becoming involved in a romantic relationship can be dangerous to your sobriety and your work in the program. When you first become involved in an intimate relationship, most other relationships get pushed to the back burner. A new romantic interest can provide you with a “rush” of energy that can replicate a “high,” and the relationship may then become your substitute “drug.” Romance can be a detour that may take you away from your much-needed journey of self-discovery.

This does not mean that you can never become intimately involved again. While some suggest people wait between six months or even a year before pursuing romance, it is best to build a strong foundation in the recovery program and with your Higher Power first. Make the choice to reach a point in your recovery in which you feel you can contribute as an equal partner to an intimate relationship.

I will enter the dating scene cautiously, without losing focus on my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The highest compact we can make with our fellow is, let there be truth between us two forevermore.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

When was the last time we told a lie? Do we remember who we lied to and the reason? Did our lying bring us closer to that person, or did it build an invisible wall?

We have chosen to travel on the path of recovery. Because of this, there are certain requirements for our growth and learning. One of them is honesty with ourselves and with others. Il we aren't honest with ourselves, we will suffer because the truth will come out. If we aren't honest with others, we will hinder our ability to grow closer to people. Dishonesty doesn’t make bonds, it breaks them.

We can make amends for our lies. We can "come clean" to those we lied to and tear down the walls. By doing so we will move further along our path of recovery by learning how to build relationships, not break them. Honesty with others builds trust, trust builds love, and love makes life so much better.

Tonight I will promise to get honest with at least one person to whom I have lied. I will learn how to build a better relationship by doing so.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Knowing our Higher Power

A good understanding of our Higher Power may be necessary for some of us, but we don’t need to get stuck on any image. All we have to do is become willing to believe that a power greater than ourselves will help us get clean and sober.

Electricity works the same after a course in electronics as it did before the course. Likewise, our Higher Power works the same for us before we understand how it operates. It gets down to this simple idea: It’s less important that we understand God than believe God understands us.

Do I have faith in my Higher Power?

Higher Power, help me accept the fact that understanding your ways is less important than believing you are present in my life today.

I will apply my faith in my Higher Power today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Worry, the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.

~ GEORGE WASHINGTON LYON ~

Newcomer

I took a test last week in a course I’ve signed up for at a local college. Immediately afterward, I started worrying about my grade. I had a feeling that the teacher had something against me, and that she might give me a C even though I really deserved a B. I was already planning what I’d say to her. Then I got the test back—with an A on it. I’m having a good laugh about what I put myself through. I feel stupid for having worried so much.

Sponsor

First, congratulations on your hard work. In recovery, we can become more aware of our abilities and honor them. There’s so much we can achieve, with patience and perseverance.

If I’m hearing you correctly, you underrated your ability, you assumed that someone both wished you ill and was going to behave unprofessionally, and you churned up your mind with worry about the future. The mental and emotional energy you put into expecting the worst from yourself and your teacher turned out to have nothing to do with reality. This is what people in Twelve Step programs refer to as “projection”—living in an imagined future instead of the present moment.

When I’m facing something new or difficult, I find that it calms me to pray to my Higher Power for the best possible outcome for all concerned. If we’re not giving our attention to fear, mistrust, low self-esteem, or other negative feelings, we can concentrate on doing our best and turning over the results to a Power greater than ourselves. As with recovery, the rate at which we live all of our lives need only be one day at a time.

Today, I cherish the serenity that comes from cultivating a positive attitude toward myself and toward the eventual outcome of events.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In all ages men have been bound to each other by the ties of kinship, nationality, mutual attraction and by common ideals and aims. Nowhere, however, is that bond of kinship so strong as among those who share a common danger.

We in AA have a common enemy in Alcohol. It is a constant threat to our happiness, our prosperity, our health and our very lives.

Here lies the reason behind that feeling of "belonging" when you enter the halls of a strange group. Here are your kind of people, fighting your battle against your enemy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thanking You for Little Things

I thank You for the house in which I live,
For the gray roof on which the raindrops slant;
I thank You for a garden and the slim young shoots
That mark the old-fashioned things I plant.

I thank You for a daily task to do,
For books that are my ships with golden wings.
For mighty gifts let others offer praise—
Lord, I thank You for little things.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GOSPEL

The student having now gained an understanding of what the Great Law is and how it works, is in a position to take the next great step and understand how it is possible to rise above even the Great Law itself, in the name of the CHRIST.

This does not mean that the laws of the physical or mental planes are broken. It means that man, because of his essential divine selfhood, has the power of rising above these domains into the infinite dimension of Spirit where such laws no longer affect him. The law of reaping what one sows, often called the Law of Karma, is actually law for mind only; it is not law for Spirit. In Spirit all is perfect and eternal, unchanging good.

So man has the choice of Karma or Christ. This is the best news that has ever come to mankind, and for that reason it is called the glad tidings, or the Gospel. Karma turns out to be inexorable only so long as you do not pray. For any given mistake, you must either suffer the consequences, which we call being punished, or wipe them out by the Practice of the Presence of God.

It must not be supposed, however, that the consequences of a mistake are to be cheaply evaded by a perfunctory prayer. Sufficient realization of God to alter fundamentally the character of the sinner is required in order to wipe out the punishment that otherwise must always follow upon sin. When the sinner becomes a changed man, and will not even desire to repeat his sin, then is he saved, for Christ is Lord of Karma.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Unseen Help

If you knew who walks beside you, fear would be impossible.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While visiting a prison, I was required to walk through a series of five thick electronically secured steel doors and gates, connected by a maze of sidewalks and corridors. As I reached each door, I wondered if anyone would be there to guide me and open the door. As if by magic, the moment I approached a door, it was buzzed open electronically. After going through a few doors, I realized I was being watched via remote television cameras. At one point, I made a wrong turn at the intersection of two sidewalks, and I heard a voice call out of nowhere, "You are going the wrong way." I returned to the intersection and stood at the crossroads, puzzled. The voice returned. "Now, just continue in the direction you are facing."

On the path of life, we come up against locked doors and wonder how we will get through and whether anyone is available to help us. As I discovered at the prison, if we are in our right place, the door will be buzzed open; it would have been useless for me to try to open the doors manually. But there was someone watching me who had the power to release the door without struggle on my part.

The same guide will assist us if we take a wrong turn. A voice will call out, "You are going the wrong way." It may not be an external voice we hear, but an internal knowingness. When we return to the intersection and reposition ourselves, the same inner guide will let us know, “Just keep going in the direction you are facing."

Although we do not see our watcher, we are seen and known. On my way out of the jail, I noticed a guard booth adjacent to one of the corridors. The glass windows were heavily tinted so I could not see in, but the guards could see out. While we may be unable to peer into the guidance booth of the universe, those in charge of helping us can see us. We are never alone. Every door will open when we are ready to enter.

I trust You to open locked doors for me. I do not have to fight to do the will of God.

God is watching over me, making my path easy.