These have always been difficult for me because I place them very high for myself. I found in recovery, that I tended to project those same standards onto other people, often people not capable of meeting them for whatever reason.
When I go into a day expecting certain things to happen, I am bound to be disappointed. I learned a long time ago that God and the Universe are not always on the same wavelength as I am. This is probably a good things, seeing as it was my thinking that got me into trouble in the first place.
It is always the thinking behinds the disease. The substance is but a symptom of my disease. The only thing I can expect when I use is regret, remorse, resentment, and ruefulness about what happened the next morning.
As the old saying goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." What I always want is for Him to give me a little hint so we both know what is happening. I think that is called control issues. How can I expect to have control of my day when I am powerless over people, places and things.
I do expect to stay clean and sober today. The reason for that expectation is the fact that I have asked my God's help for this day. He hasn't failed me in 20 years. I have fallen far short of my expectations of what I should do for Him. He only expects me to try, other than that, His Love is unconditional. He doesn't even judge the effort and the energy I put into the trying. It helps to be willing. Again, after the Serenity Prayer, it is good to turn my thinking over to my Higher Power, and pray for the willingness to be willing.
These have always been difficult for me because I place them very high for myself. I found in recovery, that I tended to project those same standards onto other people, often people not capable of meeting them for whatever reason.
When I go into a day expecting certain things to happen, I am bound to be disappointed. I learned a long time ago that God and the Universe are not always on the same wavelength as I am. This is probably a good things, seeing as it was my thinking that got me into trouble in the first place.
It is always the thinking behinds the disease. The substance is but a symptom of my disease. The only thing I can expect when I use is regret, remorse, resentment, and ruefulness about what happened the next morning.
As the old saying goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." What I always want is for Him to give me a little hint so we both know what is happening. I think that is called control issues. How can I expect to have control of my day when I am powerless over people, places and things.
I do expect to stay clean and sober today. The reason for that expectation is the fact that I have asked my God's help for this day. He hasn't failed me in 20 years. I have fallen far short of my expectations of what I should do for Him. He only expects me to try, other than that, His Love is unconditional. He doesn't even judge the effort and the energy I put into the trying. It helps to be willing. Again, after the Serenity Prayer, it is good to turn my thinking over to my Higher Power, and pray for the willingness to be willing.
For so many years, I projected things onto others and expected them to act like I thought they should do. I didn't realized that I didn't have the power to change them, I had to focus inward instead of outward. You can't put expectations on someone who is not capable of doing what you want them to do. I can't expect someone to work a program if they don't have one to of their own and not willing to put it into practice today. As someone once said to me, "I did have a program, I just chose not to use it."
