[MajestyJo]

Dear Liz, thanks for sharing. Not sure the threats are part of the deal. I told my family and friends that if they were going to pray for me, to do it quietly so I couldn't hear, because the old 'excuse' was, "Don't tell me what to do, watch me." The old attitudes would move in and I know that for me, unless I was willing to quit, there was nothing any one else can do for me. I couldn't quit for my son, my family, my job, etc. I had to be willing to get help for myself. Someone said to me, "God doesn't make no junk, you are worthy of recovery."

I compared myself to others and didn't think I was that bad. I had to learn to identify with the disease (it is a disease), and look at where the alcohol and drugs took me. I realized that I hadn't done some of the things that others had done, but the key word was "Yet" and if I continued to use, I know that I would have died.

I had to change my attitude. I was at a stage, "Stop the world, I want to get off." I chose life. "Just for today, I choose not to use people, places, and things."

I could use, but I couldn't use safely. I was functional for many years, but I became unemployable and got to a stage where I was sick and tired of being tired and sick.

I went to AA for my denial. I knew I was an addict, my drug of choice was more! I didn't want to wear a label that I had put on my dad and my ex-husband. I cringed inside every time I said, "My name is JoAnne, I am an alcoholic." Today I know that they were a couple of drunks and I was the alcoholic, because I had the thinking behind the drinking. Thanks to the program of AA, that desire to use is gone. It was the 12 Steps for me, they gave me a new way of living, a new freedom and a new happiness.

God Bless.