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January 6

Daily Reflections

THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER

We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able
to take our first steps toward liberation and strength.
Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn
out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful
lives may be built.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21

When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when
bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and
permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself,
I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I
realized I had no recourse except surrender. In
surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish
self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance
to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting
anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety,
serenity and peace.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life.
The most important decision I ever made was my decision
to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life
depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the
world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything
I have, my whole life depends on that one thing. Can I afford
ever to forget this, even for one minute?

Meditation For The Day

I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now.
I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the
goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its
usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it
God cannot give me his power. I believe that this power
is a mighty power when used in the right way.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may face and accept whatever discipline is
necessary. I pray that I may be fit to receive God's power
in my life.

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As Bill Sees It

All or Nothing?, p. 6

Acceptance and faith are capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In
fact, they usually do; and they must, else we could have no life at all. But
the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we
find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example,
become completely free from fear, anger and pride.

Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love.
So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very
gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our
oldtime attitude of "all or nothing" will have to be abandoned.

Grapevine, March 1962

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Walk In Dry Places

No Need to be Perfect____ Perfectionism.
We often declare that we suffered from perfectionism while we were drinking. This did not mean that we did things perfectly or always met high standards. More likely, it meant that we had grandiose ideas of the perfect people we wanted to be, but felt deep inadequacy about our failure to meet these high standards.
While we should develop good standards and values for our lives, we place an impossible demand on ourselves by wanting to be perfect in every way. What is this but a secret desire to be better than others, to occupy a superior position that will enable us to look down on others and, at the same time, to receive their approval and admiration?
In some manufacturing fields, there is a useful saying that serves as a guideline for inspectors: "Good enough is best." If something is good enough for its intended purpose, it may be equal to the best. If my performance and actions this day are good enough, it maybe that they are as good as they have to be or as God wants them to be.
I will not expect impossible things from myself today. I will meet reasonable standards without permitting myself to become tense or strained.

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Keep It Simple

"We."---First word of the Twelve Steps.
We. This little word says a lot about the Twelve Steps. Our addiction made us lonely. The "we" of the program makes us whole again. It makes us a member of a living, growing group of people. Our addiction isolated us from others. We couldn't be honest. We felt a lot of shame. But all this is in the past. The "we" of the program helps us live outside ourselves. Now we tell each other about our pasts. We comfort each other. We try to help each other.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to join the WE of the program. Help me to admit and accept my illness, so the healing can begin.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll work to make the WE of the program even stronger. I'll find someone to help.

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Each Day a New Beginning

There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.
--Evelyn Mandel
Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.
We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.
Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

We heard no more of Fred for a while. One day we were told that he was back in the hospital. This time he was quite shaky. He soon indicated he was anxious to see us. The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless.

p. 40

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Vicious Cycle

How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.

However, here I probably took my first step toward my coming alcoholism by developing a terrific aversion to all churches and established religions. At this school we had Bible readings before each meal, and church services four times on Sunday, and I became so rebellious at this time that I swore i would never join or go to any church, except for weddings or for funerals.

pp. 221-222

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

Then perhaps life, as it has a way of doing, suddenly hands us a great big lump that we can't begin to swallow, let alone digest. We fail to get a worked-for promotion. We lose that good job. Maybe there are serious domestic or romantic difficulties, or perhaps that boy we thought God was looking after becomes a military casualty.
What then? Have we alcoholics in A.A. got, or can we get, the resources to meet these calamities which come to so many? These were problems of life which we could never face up to. Can we now, with the help of God as we understand Him, handle them as well and as bravely as our nonalcoholic friends often do? Can we transform these calamities into assets, sources of growth and comfort to ourselves and those about us? Well, we surely have a chance if we switch from "two-stepping" to "twelve-stepping," if we are willing to receive that grace of God which can sustain and strengthen us in any catastrophe.

p. 113

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Do not spit into the well you may have to drink out of. --French Proverb

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have for instance." --Franklin P. Jones

"Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred." --Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but I still can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do." --Helen Keller

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." --Henry Van Dyke

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

BOREDOM

"Nothing is interesting if you
are not interested."
-- Helen MacInnes

There is a subtle distinction between the "dry" alcoholic and the "sober" alcoholic.
The sober alcoholic chooses not to drink because he has accepted his alcoholism. The
"dry" alcoholic is "not drinking" but is invariably angry and resentful --- and he is not
expressing these feelings. His abstinence is not exciting because he is not interested
in it --- he is bored.

The "dry" alcoholic is also boring to be around. Why? Because he is bored. His
boredom makes him boring. He really wants to drink. He has stopped drinking for
reasons that do not include the acceptance of the disease; he is still a victim of the
disease.

Sobriety, by contrast, is an adventure into self. It greets the new day with enthusiasm
and energy. Sobriety is the spiritual discovery of God in our lives.

Let me always remember that my interests in life reflect my interest in You.

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We are to grow up in all aspects into Him. Ephesians 4:15

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 7:24-27

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Daily Inspiration

Everyone is important; very important. Lord, help me to always treat those in my life with respect and speak with a gentle heart.

Our lives should be productive and useful and we should always make a difference because we are alive. Lord, You have brought me to this new day. Work with me so that I will have a successful day with many accomplishments whether they are great or small.

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NA Just For Today

January 6

"How Does It Work?"

"I used to think that I had all the answers, but today I am glad that I don't"
Basic Text p. 272

What are the two favorite words of most addicts? "I know!" Unfortunately, many of us arrive in NA thinking we have all the answers. We have a lot of knowledge about what's wrong with us. But in and of itself, knowledge never helped us stay clean for any length of time.

Members who have achieved long-term recovery will be the first to admit that the longer they are here, the more they have to learn. But they do know one thing: By following this simple Twelve Step program, they have been able to stay clean. They no longer ask "why"; they ask "how"? The value of endless speculation pales in comparison to the experience of addicts who've found a way to stay clean and live clean.

This doesn't mean we don't ask "why" when it's appropriate. We don't come to NA and stop thinking! But in the beginning, it's often a very good idea to reword our questions. Instead of asking "why," we ask "how": How do I work this step? How often should I attend meetings? How do I stay clean?

Just for today: I don't have all the answers, but I know where to find the ones that matter. Today, I will ask another addict, "How does it work?"
pg. 6

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We, too, the children of the earth, have our moon phases all through any year; the darkness, the delivery from darkness, the waxing and waning.
--Faith Baldwin
Let us think, for a moment, about the changes of the moon. In the beginning of its cycle, it is just a sliver in the darkness. Each night it grows larger until it reaches its full size. When the moon is full and rising, its orange glow fills the sky. All night its gentle light brightens everything it touches. But this fullness is only part of the life of the moon. For a while it grows smaller, then turns its dark side toward us before reappearing as a sliver and growing again to fullness. We are children of the earth, and we have our different moods and phases, too. There will be periods of darkness when we try to find our way by the light of the stars. Again and again we will grow to our full size, only to fade and grow again in a new way.


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Being human is difficult. Becoming human is a lifelong process. To be truly human is a gift. --Abraham Heschel
The processes of becoming more human, becoming a real person, and finding spiritual enlightenment are very similar. They require slow growth over time. We can only follow these paths in small steps, one day or one hour at a time. Many of us grew up in families with an addicted parent. We, too, went to great excesses and have been abusive to others and ourselves. Because of these problems, we developed a distorted outlook on life. Now we still demand quick and complete fixes for recovery.
Our program says, "Look to this day." It is a difficult path to learn, but we only take it in small steps. There are no instant fixes for any human being. Yet, when we surrender to the reality of life, we are given the gift of true humanity. We feel like real people, we love others, and we enjoy the pleasure of true contact with them.
I am grateful I can be a part of the process. Help me give up my drive to control it.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.
--Evelyn Mandel
Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.
We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.
Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Relationships
If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life. --Beyond Codependency
Relationships are the blessing and bane of recovery. Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road.
Each day, we are faced with the prospect of functioning in several different relationships. Sometimes, we choose these relationships; sometimes, we don't. The one choice we usually have in our relationships concerns our own behavior. In recovery from codependency, our goal is to behave in ways that demonstrate responsibility for us.
We're learning to acknowledge our power to take care of ourselves in our relationships. We're learning to be intimate with people when possible.
Do we need to detach from someone who we've been trying to control? Is there someone we need to talk to, even though what we have to say may be uncomfortable? Is there someone we've been avoiding because we're afraid to take care of ourselves with that person? Do we need to make an amend? Is there someone we need to reach out to, or show love?
Recovery is not done apart from our relationships. Recovery is done by learning to own our power and to take care of ourselves in relationships.
Today, I will participate in my relationships to the best of my ability. I will make myself available for closeness and sharing with people I trust. I will ask for what I need and give what feels right.


Even when I have doubt I know a power greater than myself is guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Embrace the Unknown

How boring it would be if we knew everything that was going to happen. Yet we are always trying to peek around the corner and see ahead.

If we knew everything that was going to happen, we wouldn’t need to experience it. There would be nothing to learn, explore, or gain. We’d stay in our heads instead of our hearts. So often, it’s the surprises of the moments and hours, the unexpected twists and turns that give meaning to our journey and make our lessons come alive.

You are connected to truth. You are connected to Divine guidance. You can trust and embrace your guidance from God. That means you will get all the visions, all the guidance, all the advance knowledge and wisdom you need. Not too much to spoil the surprise. Not too much to neutralize the lesson.

Just enough guidance to let you know you are never alone.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Take responsibility for your life

Before you can jump out of the airplane, before you can fly solo in an airplane, before you can go on the whitewater rafting trip, before you can make a bungee jump, you have to sign a waiver.

The waiver is a document that says that you realize the dangers in what you’re about to do, that you and you alone have made the decision to participate in the activity, and that you and you alone are responsible for the outcome.

You sign away your right to sue, whine, complain– to do anything except risk your life for a new experience.

You sign the waiver to protect others from being liable in case of an accident. I think waivers are a good reminder that ultimately no one is responsible for my life but me. There is no one to blame, no one to sue, no one to ask for a refund. I make my own decisions and I live with the results of those choices each day.

So do you.

It’s your life. Sign a waiver saying that you take responsibility for it. Set yourself and others free.

God, help me understand the inherent powers I have. Help me take responsibility for my choices, and guide me about what decisions are best for me.

Activity: Read the following waiver carefully. Fill in the blanks, and be aware of what you’re signing. It is your life, after all. Take responsibility for what you do.

WAIVER
I understand that during the course of my life I will be required to make many decisions, such as where I want to live, whom I want to live with, where I work, how much fun I have, and how I spend my money and time, including how much time I spend waiting for things to get better and people to change, and whom I choose to love.

I understand that many events that occur will be out of my hands and that there are inherent dangers and risks in all decisions I make.Life and people have no obligation to live up to the expectations of anybody else. Life is a high-risk sport, and I may become injured along the way.

I agree that all the decisions I make are mine and mine alone, including how I choose to handle the events that are beyond my control. I hereby forfeit my right to recourse as a victim, including my rights to blame, complain, and whine or hold someone else responsible for the path I choose to take. I am responsible for my for my participation– or lack of it– in life. And I take complete responsibility for the outcomes and consequences of all decisions I make, understanding that ultimately it is my choice whether I become happy, joyous, and free or stay miserable and trapped.

Although people may voluntarily nurture and love me, I and I alone am responsible for taking care of and loving myself.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I finally convince myself to let go of a problem that’s been tearing me apart — when I take the action to set aside my will and let God handle the problem — my torment subsides immediately. If I continue to stay out of my own way, then solutions begin to unfold and reveal themselves. More and more, I’m coming to accept the limitations of my human understanding and power. More and more, I’m learning to let go and trust my Higher Power for the answers and the help. Do I keep in the forefront of my mind the fact that only God is all-wise and all-powerful?

Today I Pray

If I come across a stumbling-block, may I learn to step out of the way and let God remove it. May I realize my human limitations at problem-solving, since I can never begin to predict God’s solutions until I see them happening. May I know that whatever answer I come to, God may have a better one.

Today I Will Remember

God has a better answer.

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One More Day

A little learning is a dangerous thing.
– Alexander Pope

Since childhood we’ve been told that education is the key to success, to happiness, to almost all good things in life. We gradually gain knowledge as we go through school and continue through life, and at each plateau we feel more confident. But a crisis may undermine that confidence. Problems within our families, such as alcohol or other drug abuse or a chronic illness, can sharply point out how little we really know. Our reaction differ — some of us dive into a frenzy of denial and activity, while others are immobilized by fear and uncertainty.

But then we remember: Learning is the key; we don’t have to know instinctively what to do. We can turn to others who have greater knowledge. Organizations are three to give us well-qualified assistance. We want and need to learn the truth.

I don’t have to have all the answers, just the right questions.

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Food For Thought

Withdrawal

Eliminating all refined sugar and flour may seem difficult, if not impossible at the beginning. Making the decision to avoid these foods, which trigger the craving for more and more, is what opens the door to freedom - freedom from the craving and freedom from fat.

We do not become free immediately. Some of us experience withdrawal discomfort, which is sometimes physical, sometimes psychological, and sometimes both. It is important to remember that the discomfort will pass, the craving will pass, and that if we remain abstinent, we will eventually feel much better. So much better that our bodies and our lives will seem new.

In order to walk into the world of freedom, we must go through the door of abstinence. We need not fear the pains of withdrawal. Growth is often painful. Many have gone before us and report that the eventual freedom is well worth the temporary suffering. Our Higher Power will give us the strength to endure and will never push us farther than we can go. When we are tempted to give in, a prayer and a phone call can save us.

Lead us into freedom, we pray.

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One Day At A Time

LONELINESS

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted
is the most terrible poverty.

Mother Theresa

I remember being lonely for most of my growing up years. I never had many friends and never felt I fitted in, so I buried myself in studying and became an overachiever. I also buried myself in reading novels and lived in a fantasy world, always trying to escape that terrible empty feeling inside. I could be in a crowd of people or at home with my family, and yet the feeling of loneliness was always there. I didn't realize then that this was a kind of spiritual sickness, and I began to fill the "hole in my soul" with food; I was hoping food would take away the empty feeling. It took me years and a great deal of pain to realize that no amount of food could relieve that empty lonely feeling. Keeping busy couldn't help either. It was only when the pain of the food and the destructive things I was doing to myself became greater than the pain and the loneliness that I was trying to bury under mounds of food that I was brought to my knees and found the doors of my first program meeting.

Even though I wasn't sure that the program was for me at that first meeting, I knew then that I need never be alone. Other people suffered as I did and the feeling of not having to go it alone any more was very powerful. As I grow in the program and have discovered a Higher Power who is with me day and night, I have come to realize that I need never be alone. I can call on that Power at any time when I feel alone and scared. No longer do I have to feel the spiritual emptiness inside that used to drive me to food.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember to call on my Higher Power for guidance and help with my life; in that way, I need never be alone. When I follow the path that God intended me to follow in the first place, the loneliness disappears.

~ Sharon ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. A doctor said to us, 'Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.' - Pg. 122 - The Family Afterward

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Just for today, live in the now. It's a 24 hour program and you only have to worry about this hour. This hour you are clean and in the right place looking for and accepting help.

Grant me the patience to accept this hour of abstinence without reservation.

Each Day is a Day of Birth

I am being continually reborn. Each day life renews itself transforming from one state to another. Flowers bloom and then their petals drop to the ground and become fertilizer for new growth. Seasons change. The sun comes up and at the end of each day it disappears for the night only to reappear bright, strong and warm the next morning. I am part of this natural and daily renewal of life. Everything I experience becomes part of my process of personal growth. I refine my learning each day, I drop what I don't need to the ground where it becomes fertilizer for tomorrow's renewal, tomorrow's rebirth, into my ever expanding sense of life. Each day gifts come and go, each day they are renewed.

I am born each day into more of myself.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

You can't change reality but you can change your attitude toward it.

When reality messes up my fantasies, I pause and ask my Higher Power to guide my thoughts.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Be stronger at what you're doing, than your feelings are at what they're doing.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Even when I have doubt I know a power greater than myself is guiding me on my path today.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I wrote my 4th Step exactly as it says in the AA Big Book. I made the columns . I wrote everybody I resented - which basically turned out to be everybody who breathed air I thought should have been mine. I wrote in the next column what they did to me - Well all my life I wanted to tell you what 'They' did to me. And in the third column, how it affected me. Well it affected my self-worth, my dignity my security... no wonder I drank! And I was having a great time until I accidentally turned the page. And hidden in the body of text it says 'Referring to our list again, we put out of our minds the wrongs others had done, and looked at what our part was.' ( Big Book Pg. 67 ) Well now it wasn't fun anymore. But I made a 4th column and looked at my part, and that was my inventory. And when I finished it I knew I belonged in Alcoholics Anonymous. I believe we all have the same story. We all acted it out a little differently but we all a have the same story. - Patti O.