[bluidkiti]

April 11

Wisdom for Today
When I was drinking and using drugs, I could find every excuse imaginable to justify my getting drunk or high and explain my behavior. This in part helped to support my denial system. As long as I could blame, excuse or explain everything to others and myself, I was okay. But it did not take long and my excuses no longer worked. My own rationalizations and reasons didn’t hold water, let alone a drink. The games I played with myself were complex and filled with self-deceit. Eventually I began to realize that what I was doing was not normal. It wasn’t even close.

I faced my addiction to alcohol and drugs and realized I had to find a way to stop. But even here, my excuses continued. My disease was not about to give up without a struggle. Even when I finally did give up and got clean and sober, I still worked hard to find excuses. Then I heard a comment at a meeting that stuck with me. Someone I had never met before and never saw again at a meeting, probably a visitor in the area stated, “Being alcoholic does not give me permission to act alcoholically.” This statement remains with me today. It has become one of the treasures I received in the program. Am I done with my excuses?
Meditations for the Heart
God, as I understand Him, has grown in my life in recovery. My concept and my openness to Him have changed remarkably in my recovery process. What I once perceived as Judge, now has become my Friend. What I once perceived as distant has now become close. What I once perceived as unreachable has now become reachable. This change is certainly most welcome in my life. Having a relationship with this Holy Power that is active, close and reachable has opened many doors that I thought were closed. Even more importantly, when doors were closed, a window was opened for me. I no longer have to walk blindly along the path and now have a most experienced Guide. As my excuses, which prevented a relationship with a Higher Power, disappeared I found security, hope, strength and humility. Do I have roadblocks standing in the way of my relationship with God?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Help me this day to be honest in all that I do. Let me not seek to hide behind excuses and games. Instead, let me find ways to be genuine and real. Let me seek to improve my conscious contact with You and seek to do Your will in the tasks that I face this day. Hold me close in Your protective arms.

Amen.