There are over 100 12 Step groups in existence and that figure was told to me 10 years ago.
I noticed a difference from the time I first came on the internet. I ate, slept, and dreamed internet. It took over all my thoughts. I lived for them. I don't have the same way of thinking, even about my own sites. If I had any kind of obsession it was about making it here to *** because I felt it was important to my recovery and my day. If I didn't get here, there was something missing. It went from an obsession to a place I felt was home.
When I first built my sites it was an unknown and I didn't know how to copy and paste. It was about learning and I have gone through different phases. I see a friend of mine totally involved with Pogo Games. For a long time, I was playing bridge on line because 'bridge' was my obsession and I haven't played on line for three years.
It got to a stage at one time if the phone rang and interrupted me, I got angry. I was back to the old way of thinking and acting when I was using. I said a prayer and asked, "God you and I have to do something about this, I don't want to go back to that old way of thinking."
It is nice that I can walk away today. I don't have to post on my sites and I don't have to make something happen when there is nothing there. When I got my computer, it was my whole life, I spent hours on it. Today I do other things and there is a choice today. I can walk away from it. Sometimes like today it isn't easy because I have a build up of e-mails. When that happens, I can hit the delete button and not have to open up every one. Before, I was afraid of missing something.
Today I have learned to have respect for the computer, for myself, and others. A friend told me very early on, if it is good enough to forward, it is good enough to format. Deleting other people's addresses and information is important. I try to spell check and the nice things about my new sites, I can go back in and edit any typos and errors. If I respect others, they in turn can learn to respect me.