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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 10-01-2014, 02:37 AM   #1
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Default TODAY'S GIFT FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS - OCTOBER

Quote:
Wednesday, October 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Perhaps nature is our best assurance of immortality.
—Eleanor Roosevelt

Everything in nature contributes to something else - like the hundred-year-old tree that stood tall until a wind storm. The protection it gave to thousands of birds and squirrels it now gives to insects and fungi. As it slowly decays, it nourishes the ground, and from the enriched soil grows several other trees. We human beings are part of this eternal cycle, our ideas and actions enriching those around us and influencing generations yet to come. Being part of this vast plan gives us comfort, and faith that everything that happens is meant to be. Our hearts fill with joy with the knowledge that we are needed; just as every tree is needed.

How do I fit into nature's plan today?
Being a part of the whole and being aware we are a part of the Master Plan, reassures us and knows us that we are important. I liked the words I heard about how the tiny leaf get just the right amount of sun and dew that it needs to grow, just the same as I get what I do to get my needs met.
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:04 AM   #2
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Thursday, October 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective . . . I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt.
—Madeleine L'Engle

For a long time, people have used stars to find their way in the dark. Many a lost soul has been guided by the North Star or the Big Dipper.

If we watch the sky at night, we can see thousands of twinkling stars. They are our friends. They remind us how small we are. They remind us of the vastness of the universe, of the power and beauty that surround us.

Starlight in the sky, or reflected on a lake, can comfort us when we hurt. With safe and open arms, nature accepts our sorrow, no matter how we express it. Starlight, like all of nature, reflects a light that comes from way beyond us. It is that light that heals us in a deep and quiet way.

How has nature comforted me when I am troubled?
Seems to me I recently posted about this. How God made the world go round, and each little blade of grass, each little leaf of grass got exactly what it needed, so why should I think I should be any different?

All I am asked to do is put my life in His Care each day and give thanks at night.
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Old 10-03-2014, 01:17 AM   #3
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Friday, October 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

How easy the breath that kills a flame,
How hard to kindle that light again.
Cold words kill and kind words kindle,
By words withheld a dream may dwindle.
—Joan Walsh Anglund

How we treat the people we live with affects the happiness of our family. Just as a breath can blow out a flame, a mean remark can cast a shadow across a brother or sister's heart. People of all ages have left dreams behind because no one encouraged them. They are like candles snuffed out.

On the other hand, if we see a friend or family member feeling good about something they have done, we can learn to be happy for them. If we notice their excitement and encourage them with kind and sincere words, it will help their candle burn brighter. Sharing the happiness of others will make our own candles burn brighter, and it always feels good when we receive kind words ourselves.

In what ways can I bring light and warmth with my words today?
Most times it is a change in attitude, yours not theirs. Look at the person and not the disease.
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Old 10-04-2014, 03:09 AM   #4
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Saturday, October 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The reason why birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.
—James M. Barrie

As children, we are taught to act and think with confidence. If we have faith that something wonderful can happen, it will bring us joy. Confidence gives us the will to succeed. Without faith, we invite despair. Faith lets us win by teaming us with love and hope. When things are going well, faith encourages growth. During hard times, faith falls upon trust for added strength and inspiration. It takes such a small amount of material things to have faith. Once, a four-year-old girl found a penny and showed it proudly to a stranger. The man scoffed, "What do you expect to buy with a penny?" The child with faith replied, "I can buy a wonderful wish at a wishing well with it."

What can I have faith in today?
This quote seems to be something I read recently. The freedom of recovery, I likened it more to a butterfly than to a bird, but when I worked the program, applied the Steps to my life, my life changed.

I developed a faith in the program, a renewed faith in my God, and faith in myself.
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Old 10-05-2014, 01:46 AM   #5
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Sunday, October 5, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I think of the trees and how simply they let go, let fall the riches of a season, how without grief (it seems) they can let go and go deep into their roots for renewal and sleep.
—May Sarton

"How can I do what you say," asked the child, "and still be me?"

"Look at me," said the tree. "I bend in the wind, droop in the rain. Yet I always remain myself, a tree."

"Look at me," said the man. "I can't change."

"Look at me," said the tree. "I change every season from green to brown to green again, from bud to flower to fallen leaf. Yet I always remain myself, a tree."

"I can't love anymore," said the woman. "With my love, I have given away all that I am."

"Look at me," said the tree. "There are robins in my branches, owls in my trunk, moss and ladybugs living on my bark. They may take what I have, but not what I am."

Whether we know it or not, we are like the tree. Only our pride hangs on to a false sense of self, wanting to keep everything, refusing to follow advice or orders. What we do doesn't matter; how we do it is what counts.

What changes have I gone through without losing my real self?
A good question. Two abusive marriages and several relationships, some in recovery, although it was through the 12 Steps that I found myself. I thought I had gone missing in action. I am a recovering addict, alcoholic, and have an on going eating disorder and have chronic pain which needs daily application of the Steps and the application of my program daily.
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Old 10-06-2014, 06:30 AM   #6
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Monday, October 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are: and what we already are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline.
—H. P. Viddon

In the ninth inning of the baseball game with a tie score and the bases loaded, the batter hit a home run. The fans and the team cheered wildly, and the batter was jubilant.

What many fans did not know was that he had been playing on baseball teams for fifteen years. Many times he struggled without being noticed. He wondered if he was any good or not, and there were days he had to make himself go out and practice. He made many mistakes, but his love and dedication for the game had always won out.

It is the years of discipline that prepare us for our big moments in life. Daily practice and love give our lives a direction, even through times of doubt and despair. By doing our best each day and learning from our mistakes, we prepare ourselves for the big moments- - he home runs - in our lives.

How are my mistakes and pains today a part of my future success?
When I am in pain, I often trace it back to an action I did or did not do, like not getting enough rest or not eating the right food. Stress is a big trigger too, especially when it comes to Fibromyalgia. So when I look at my life it is too much worry and not enough acceptance. My expectations are too high and my willingness not willing. In other words, I need to go back to the Steps, go to my God and ask for help.

It isn't about the A in my life, it is about me and my attitude and how I handle my emotions and my life on life's terms.
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Old 10-07-2014, 10:41 AM   #7
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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy.
—Ivan Ilich

No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness. Envy magnifies molehills into mountains.

Just how foolish envy truly is becomes clear when we think of it as a row of hooks on which to hang grudges. When we envy others, especially our family members, we blind ourselves to the good we could see in all people. We are ignoring life's flowers to gather bouquets of weeds.

When we envy the accomplishments or possessions of another, we will be better off if we look to our own prized possessions, to those things in ourselves that no one else has in exactly the same way.

What riches do I have within and around me?
What a picture I get when I envisions the green disease, I see swamp water, wallowing in self pity and always stuck in their misery instead of trying to better themselves and excepting where they are in life. One thing I have and for the most part I see it as a gift is an active creativity and a wide vision of what can be and a wide scope of what could be. Some call it an over active imagination, but it can see some great things, they don't always come true it has taken me on some great trips at times. The nice thing is that my God's way is always better.

I have always had a gift for gab. I was told at 14 that I talked with my eyes. Apparently over the years, I learned to talk with my body. I learned over the years, that the body can say a lot, so had to learn to translate the messages being sent to me and be careful about the messages I was sending out. In today, I try to be a channel, a clean clear channel, for my God. His Words, His Message, His Will, not mine be done.
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:36 AM   #8
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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Learn what you are and be such.
—Pindar

The most precious gift we can give those closest to us is honesty. Yet we often hide our true selves from friends, fearing we won't be accepted or loved if we let them see the real us. Often, we show parts of ourselves that hide who we really are. We have often heard ourselves or others say, "My parents would just die if . . . ," or, "don't argue in front of the children."

If we hide too much behind false images, we run the risk of losing track of what is real and what is false. We become actors instead of real people, trying to please Aunt Jane, our grandparents, our big brother, or our children.

When we conquer our fear of letting others in, we are able to see ourselves honestly. When we discover that others accept us as we are, we can accepnt and love ourselves. To know oneself is to know a person of value.

What part of me have I been hiding?
Don't think I have hid it too much, but I have been very angry and resentful. I have tried to express it and deal with it by praying about it. All people concerned are not willing to participate in the solution. I am going to try to write a letter to all persons concerned and get my views put on paper. I don't have a printer, so after my two appointments tomorrow, if there is time, I am going to try to go to the Internet Cafe tomorrow or go on Thursday. When everything is down in black and white and all laid out for all to see, perhaps they can come to a conclusion.

I have been confrontational and called them on their stuff, but I haven't pulled a hissy fit yet, at least to my way of thinking. I am a little fearful of tears and losing it, so I want to go in strong with my God by my side, and know that He is there, and put things forward so they can see things from my perspective.
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:51 AM   #9
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Thursday, October 9, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

...but time and chance happeneth to them all.
—Ecclesiastes

Life, director of the comedy, always lets things get a little out of hand. We all know what would be normal and right, but the right horse sometimes finishes last in the race, and the jerk has all the money. The wise people, like us, are ignored by all, and the good woman gets in trouble with the law. The saint cheats on his income tax, but he never gets caught the way the needy ones like us do, and the worst sinners get saved in the nick of time, while the fittest sometimes just drop dead.

If all the best-laid plans go wrong, maybe we are meant to learn that such important things aren't so important, after all.

If the skies are custard pies waiting to plop down on our hopeful faces, maybe it is best to accept the gift, count it a blessing, and lick our chops.

How have my failures been successes in disguise?
Have found out that I sabotage success just as much as I do anything else. My failures often lead me to where I was suppose to be.

I got my certificate for Accounting on Computers only to find I didn't have an honest desire to go back into the work force, I had done my time, and had no fight left to go into the steel jungle and I no longer had that tiger in the tank. I chose to volunteer with Housing who offered free internet services to the community and got involved in service and went into the jail for NA (helped get meetings started) and then for Al-Anon when I chose to change fellowships. For my recovery, I had to focus on Al-Anon with an AA meeting when required.
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Old 10-10-2014, 02:16 AM   #10
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Quote:
Friday, October 10, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Look, the wind vane fluttering in the autumn breeze
Takes hold of certain things that cannot be held.
—Feng Chih

When we think we are losing our grip, we have good reason to look up. Consider the moon suspended in the sky, how it continues to come and go, follows its natural law, and never really loses face. Consider the sun, the stars, the seasons, how they refuse to abandon us, to let go of their hold on our lives. And come closer to home. We can marvel at the magic of small efficient things - the toaster and stove, the light in the room, the words in a good book that are permanent, faithful, and clear. We can consider how music, without saying a word, still speaks to us, and how a few friends, maybe miles away, continue to hang on to the strength of our small and faithful words.

We can keep in mind that we are part of a complex and loving system, and our grip can never be lost.

How do I see my unity with my surroundings today?
When I see others sharing on the site. I don't feel so alone. Me alone with me is not always good company.

Quote:
God Letter (Higher Power Letter)

I loved this exercise personally because it helped me break through the spiritual part of my recovery
so that I could do and finish my fourth step.

1. You Write a letter to God (higher Power) being totally and brutally honest with how you see everything.
from expectations to events etc ....

2.Finish that wait 15 minutes as you say a prayer

3. What does God (Higher Power) replies back and Write it don't think just write ....

You just might be surprised It was a very positive and uplifting experience for me I know it really worked for me and was a very positive experience

If I left anything out please add to it or address it if I have said it wrong Thanks so much this was a very valuable tool for me. Share as you wish if it worked for you.

What I will add is just this, Start with 2 pieces of paper on the first write Dear God..Higher Power whatever you choose for you Higher Power if you do not believe then write something maybe like.."Whoever" sounds rash but he or she understands. Then as JD said write everything on your mind.

After resting for 15 minutes pick up the second paper and write..example Majesty Jo (your name) and then start writing. You will be amazed at the answer. It works.

When all else fails in your life this can really help and its also something I use before I am at that place where I want to scream.

This is one amazing tool that is for sure... Instant gratification which all of us know feels soooo good.
Got this from another site. A good way not to be alone with me.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:59 AM   #11
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Saturday, October 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

A musician must make music; an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.
—Abraham Maslow

The same is true of a seamstress, carpenter, homemaker, lawyer, or mechanic. The question is, who and what am I? What must I do to be at peace with myself? What can I be, for that is what I must be?

A lucky few of us find the answers to these questions fairly early in life, and we work to develop into the people we can be and must be. We do that by looking at our deepest desires, and ask what would bring fulfillment for us. We ask what we would enjoy doing most, what we believe we have the ability to be really good at. What is it that sometimes burns within us to be expressed or done? The answers to what we can be, what we must be, come from within, through asking ourselves these questions.

What kind of a person am I capable of being?
On a good day, I am capable of being a kind and loving person. On a day that I don't do my prayer and meditation, on a day that I allow my pain to rule my life, I can become a self-centered b*tch.

The only purpose and direction in my life is posting the readings and sharing recovery on the sites, and if I don't get that done, I feel like I am not living up to my standards and allowing 'things' to get in the way. Sometimes I am too hard on myself because I came to realize I had added on a lot of extra things to the sites to interest guests with the hopes that they will keep coming back, and a lot of the things I had trouble keeping up. So I just try to do what I can do, and be kind to myself so I can be kind to you.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:37 AM   #12
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Sunday, October 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it . . .
—Mark Twain

There was once a young girl who thought that if only she tried a little harder, she could please her parents; if only she were prettier, her friends would like her better. She tried constantly to gain their approval. Sometimes they said they liked her, and sometimes they didn't.

Then one night a fairy came to her in a dream and told her, "You are fine just the way you are. You don't have to change. I want you to start noticing your own beauty and loving yourself exactly the way you are."

Doing what the fairy suggested - giving love and approval to herself - wasn't easy, but she found that when she did it she felt a peace that was not dependent on what others thought. She thanked her fairy for caring enough to come and give her such wise advice.

What are some things I like about myself?
My ability to laugh at myself, my creativity, and my sense of humour. My gratitude for what the program has given me.
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Old 10-13-2014, 04:36 AM   #13
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Monday, October 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

...(the king) can deprive them of the benefit of sun and rain, . . . and they are at the same time pelted from above with great stones, . . . while the roofs of theirAC houses are beaten to pieces.
—Jonathan Swift

How do we punish those momentarily gone wrong? Do we try hurting with words - jab them in the heart with some spear-shaped phrases, slap them in the face with an insult or two? Maybe we like to poison them with a strong dose of silence. Have we tried to make them feel bad by making them feel sorry for us? Do we remind them daily that what went wrong with our lives is really all their fault?

We must remember that we are the rulers of our own lives only, and this knowledge gives us the power to punish only ourselves. It also gives us control over our lives, so that others' actions need not wrong us, and we need not punish.

Have I been punishing someone?
As it says, we mostly punish ourselves and often don't realize how much we hurt others.

I try to share with the hope that others will see themselves in me and not have to take the road I took or if they find themselves on the same road, they can turn around or find the next road and take a detour.

Recogizing where we are at is so important. We can't do nothing if we are not aware, we just stumble along in the dark, if we don't turn on the light and don't look at where we are going and where we are at.

Things that have been good for us for many years just may not serve us in today and we need to change. It may have wore out it's welcome or we may have changed enough that we need more than what it provides. It isn't about right or wrong, it is about getting our needs met. If our God leads us to it, He will see us through it. If it is there, it doesn't always mean it is of the Devil's making, it just may be a new enlightenment sent to you by your God, a Gift for you in a new form and one that you need to implement into your life, throw away the old and make room for the new, or make adjust the old to make new in today.

It is about attitude, perception, and an open mind. Why do we want to continue to stay stuck in the old, continue to hurt ourselves, and others because we insist on stay stuck in the old, unwilling to change and mired in the past with feet of clay, which prevents us from moving forward with our life.
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:51 PM   #14
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.
—Julia Soul

Do we avoid making new friends because we're scared they won't like us? Do we get embarrassed when we make a mistake and avoid trying again? When we get our feelings hurt, do we think we're bad, or that something is wrong with us?

Being scared or shy or hurt are all part of being alive. When we try to stay away from painful feelings, we keep ourselves from having many wonderful adventures. If we're afraid to meet new people, we may never have any close friends. If we stop trying when we're embarrassed, we may never learn a better way of doing things. And if we don't share our hurt feelings, we may never find out that everyone else has the same feelings we have.

What can I try again today that I failed at yesterday?
Easy question, finish my posting, even though I have to close up shop now.
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Old 10-15-2014, 08:52 PM   #15
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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

...ere it vanishes
Over the margin
After it, follow it,
Follow The Gleam.
—Alfred, Lord Tennyson

It is difficult to find words for the "Gleam" we pursue. What it is, we are never too sure. We see it best in our daily dreams, while we're staring out a window at nothing at all. Sometimes it appears between the words in a book; it is always sure to be there when we sit alone to write down our own thoughts. We see it in the autumn woods; feel its heavy breathing in ocean waves. It is suddenly a skylark in flight, a falling leaf, and a flower we have reluctantly picked. It makes us feel sad but good. It is always luring us on, always beautiful.

Is it love? Success? Peace? It may be any or all of these things, and we may find it through another person, or some talent we have, or a thing of beauty we stumble upon. And it is there within us, always, waiting to be found.

In what ways can I follow the Gleam I see in my life today?
For me, happy to have another day. Happier still, if I see the sun. What tops the day is when I see someone from the program and connect with someone in recovery, but then there are those who I see who I see who have relapsed, and are still out there, but they are still alive, which means there is still hope. They carry a great message to me.

It isn't any better out there. I thank them for doing my research for me. Just for today, I choose not to use.
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