Eating Disorder

[MajestyJo]

Food has been a big problem for me, more a mental and emotional factor than a physical one. Stuffing, not wanting to eat because of the swelling in my body, looking at my body as fat when in truth it is fluid.

It also was a sign that I wasn't eating healthy, when I eat three times a day, eat good foods, eat balanced meals, I can stay healthy. I seem to have trouble maintaining that balance. I am so grateful for my program that allows me to surrender, turn this part of my addiction over to my HP and know that I will get help and healing.

I keep telling myself I am eating well. I look at what I eat and it seems okay, but when I get honest, I have to look at the quantity as well as the quality. For me it is generally less, not more like my other addictions. Yet I know, if I abuse it, I misuse it, I am using food and giving it the power.



I know if I abuse it, I misuse it, I am using food and giving it the power.

I am suppose to eat small 5 times a day according to the Diabetic Clinic I went to. My small becomes larger in portion, and sometimes with my weird sleeping patterns, the times are generally less. The making of healthy choice often gets changed in the moment. I get the "I wants" and I know I have reverted to old behaviours. As I have said many times, I become a Wanna Bee and belong on Romper Room.

So glad this is a one day at a time program, and extra glad when I get new awareness, often on old situations that keep popping back up. I am grateful for that moment of pause that allows me to make a decision, and I think positive instead of negative.

It is so much better to have a buddy, a sponsor, or family that is supportive.