Wisdom For Today - November

[bluidkiti]

November 3

Wisdom for Today

Early in the recovery process I ran into a serious problem. There was this gift called recovery that God wanted to give me, but I wanted to earn it. I felt like after all the crazy and hurtful things I had done that I somehow had to earn this gift. I was working very hard at trying to work a “perfect” program so that I could say, “I deserve it.” I was working hard at recovery and getting nowhere fast. This didn’t last long because I got discouraged quickly. Why wasn’t I getting the serenity and happiness that everyone else had?

Then I would go in the opposite direction. I began to feel like maybe I really didn’t deserve this gift called recovery. Perhaps I was too bad. I snuck into meetings with my head hung low. I was bent over with this load of shame that I carried on my back. Accepting that I had a disease was relatively easy. There was lots of evidence. Learning to accept recovery was much harder. The reality was that I could not earn it. The reality was that I didn’t deserve it. Yet God was offering it to me freely. All I had to do was accept it. God knew I was ready; it was me that was unsure. Do I accept this free gift called recovery?

Meditations for the Heart

Fear can be healthy, and it can be very destructive. Fear tells me not to spend time with people who are actively drinking and using drugs. Fear tells me not to walk in front of a bus cruising down the street. Fear tells me not to ingest poison. Healthy fear is based in commonsense. But there is also destructive fear. This fear tells me that I can’t make the changes I need to make. Destructive fear tells me that I have to hide my faults. But most destructive is the fear that destroys hope. We cannot allow this kind of fear into our heart. The only way to do this is to replace this fear with love. When we carry the love of God in our heart and have faith that God, as our Higher Power, will indeed care for us, we have no room for destructive fear in our heart. Do I carry God and His love in my heart?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

Each time I think about what You have done for me, I am speechless. I did nothing to deserve recovery, and I did nothing to earn it. You provided it freely. Thank You for opening me up to accept this wonderful gift. Walk with me and let me carry Your love in my heart this day.

Amen.