Things My Sponsors Taught Me

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From the Book

Things My Sponsors Taught ME
By Paul H.

On Going to a Cocktail Party

If you can skip it, do.

There have been a number of clever articles written about cocktail party conversation; for example, how to confess to a multiple axe murder and receive the response, “That’s nice.”

Like taverns, cocktail parties present a potential source of danger to an alcoholic. Because the purpose of a cocktail party is for drinking, such “entertainment” is not essential to our health and well- being. If they can be avoided, they should be.

For an alcoholic, the next best thing to not going to a cocktail party is to arrive as late as you can and leave as soon as possible. By a cocktail party, my sponsors meant one of those stand up things that last from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m, or from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. which never end on time. They’re usually held in a room with insufficient air circulation and over sufficient population, with too much smoke and not enough chairs, and their purpose is drinking, no matter how disguised (benefit, reception, etc...).

There’s another thing about cocktail parties that’s very apparent to a nondrinker: they’re boring! For a while, I had to make duty appearances at a periodic party which, I had the same people attended each time. I could set my watch by the telling of a particular joke, or by the departure of a particular foursome into the kitchen (where the bar was). There was a sense of déjà vu in hearing the same conversations from the same mouths; if I hadn’t been so busy being bored. I might have been embarrassed.

For any alcoholic at any time, if what you plan to do threatens your sobriety in any way, don’t do it!

My sponsors have nothing against a party, and neither do I. A gathering of congenial people, with or without alcohol, is a different affair that the uncivilized thing called a “cock-tail party.” If you want to see a really good party, drop in on an A.A. party. We have picnics, camp-ins, and formal dinner-dances. They’re lots of fun; there’s plenty of laughter, and no hangovers.

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