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Go Back   Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums > New to Bluidkiti's Recovery Forums? > Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude Make sure to stop in here and share what you are grateful/thankful for today. No matter how bad our day is, there is always something to be thankful for.

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Old 03-15-2016, 12:32 PM   #1
dry and alive
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Traverse city michigan area
Posts: 12
Default Epiphany

I am currently separated from my wife of 23 years. things have been very rough on her. I am the one who filled. Today I was out to the house and talking to her. she kept asking why I could throw away 23 years of marriage. At first I could not answer her. she asked what is was that she did that was so terrible. I was sober since 1989 until 1998. My wife was a closet drinker. At first I did not believe any one that told me she was drinking. That is what she was like ever since we met and I did not under stand why I would not know she was drinking. After a while she would drink wine for dinner and I decided it was ok for me. My first time I finished a whole bottle myself. the second time I did not want to run out so I bought 3 bottles. I drank two and a half. After that I progressed to beer, whisky and drugs. she got arrested for drunk driving and it put me over the edge. I ended up in the mental ward for attempted suicide. After several years and two kids she kept drinking. when she was arrested again I was back in the hospital again. This time when I got out I started going to AA. I have been sober 16 years. My wife would drink and get arrested but with the help of AA I stayed out of the hospital. She staid sober for five years, started drinking again. I stayed for the kids. Last year she got arrested again and I wound up in the hospital again. I stayed until everything stabilized then I filed for divorce. She me why I did that and I thought it was because I just had enough. After talking to my therapist I realized that I did not want to live with a gun to my head. I knew if she she drank again I would not seek help I would just kill myself. that was my Epiphany. So I am grateful to finely see the light. I felt such a relief that I am able to have fun now. My AA group is in full support of my situation and the fact I share every meeting. I volunteer at central office and do 5 meetings a week My new life has begun and for that I am very grateful.
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Old 03-16-2016, 02:15 PM   #2
MajestyJo
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,085
Default

Thanks for sharing. I had to leave my relationships, even in sobriety because I found that they were not working a strong enough program and were trying to make their safe space in mine. They had to be complete and whole within themselves. When you are in a needy, relationship don't work. My ex-boyfriend got angry when I said, "I don't need you in my life, you are here because I want to share my life with you." When that is gone and there is no trust, there is no relationship.

I was told that I shouldn't look for someone to complete me. I lived my life through other people all my life and I stayed sick.

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Love always,

Jo

I share because I care.


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