Daily Humor

[SteveD]

Kiti - those are hilarious

The one about the only way to get the husband to do anything reminds me of something my wife told me -

She said, "Steve, when you're out mowing that back yard in your tank top your muscles ripple, your hair glistens in the sun and I get so turned on!
I love to just stand and look out the back window just to watch your muscles flex when you mow that back yard! Rocky's got nothing on you baby! When you man-handle the helm of that lawnmower you are the sexiest man on the entire planet!"

I tell ya, after that I was out there mowing that back yard at least 3 or 4 times a week!

Originally Posted by bluidkiti

Dear IRS,
I would like to cancel my subscription.
Please remove me from your mailing list.

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Inside me is a thin person struggling to get out, but that person can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

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A new bride went crying to her mother.
"Momma, I can't get Neil to do anything. I want him to fix up the house, and he keeps putting it off."
"Honey," her mother replied, "after being married to your father for thirty years, I've found the only way to get him to do anything is to tell him he's too old."

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Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar West Virginia State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.