Control

[SoberDriver]

There is one type of control the AA "Big Book" says that is important and that is "self control." I had a sponsor who had 57 years of sobriety when he died and he always said at meetings that he was responsible for his own thinking, actions and happiness. One of the faulty ways of thinking and behaving I had since I was young was believing that if I tried to treat people well that it would result in happiness for me and that had fatally flawed results for me because I was not giving without the expectation of receiving anything in return and my expectations were based on performance rather than "being." AA challenged me to realize the higher power I had constructed in my own mind was just that, an idea based on my fatally flawed thinking and beliefs. The very environment of AA was helpful because of my helpful belief that a group of support people was "non-judgemental." Having been involved with religion before recovery my hope was that the congregations I was a member of would be caring and loving but the environment was too superficial. Try as we did, we did not get down to "causes and conditions." I have heard many pastors come into AA meetings and wish their congregations could be like AA. Is AA perfect? No. For me AA has proved to be an expression of the human condition where flawed humans such as myself can learn and grow and be challenged to become something freer. Enjoying the journey, one day at a time...