Willing To Admit Our Faults

[MajestyJo]

There is no need to always be looking in the past and worrying about it. I have a mental note of what is there. There are times that I have to turn to the past and take a closer look at what I should do different or what not to do at the moment, so I don't repeat the past. Have I made some mistakes by not looking at the past closer?

Sure but might of anyway. - R

I was told to glance at the past, but not keep my gaze centered there too long or I will miss out on today. Unless something in today triggers something there I don't often look anymore except when it is necessary to look and recognize old behaviors and patterns that need to be change in today. When I am still acting out in what was, then I am still living back there instead of making the most of the gifts of sobriety.

Often when I share my story I say, I am not here to do a Step Four and Five, but I do need to qualify so you can identify with me. Mind you I have had people say that if they had drank like I did they would still be out there. That is okay. My bottom was more an emotional, spiritual and mental bottom than a physical one, and yet when I stayed sober, a lot of physical issues came up, because I had ignored them when I was using.. I need to remember that this disease is four-fold. Because I compared, and looked at my past and my journey to get here with others, I stayed sick yet it was fear of going back to where I came from that kept me here because I didn't want to go back to where I came from, even though I couldn't find acceptance of being an alcoholic.

Not letting the past intrude into the present and living in today. We think we are not the alcoholics and we can have that glass of wine, maybe we can, maybe we can't, only we know.