Wisdom For Today - April

[bluidkiti]

April 12

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes even in recovery I just get in a bad mood. I don't even need a reason for this to happen. It just seems like I got out of bed on the wrong side that morning. Even my morning meditation doesn't seem to get me back on track. Then I rush off, headlong into my day with my bad mood. These are the times when I am most likely to feel like it just isn't working. I get frustrated easily. I get crabby and irritable. Someone can look at me the wrong way or say the wrong thing to me, and I am off to the races. I can take it personally and become judgmental or even lash out in a manner that does not show any respect for the other person.
Sometimes by mid-morning or early afternoon I realize that I am having a bad day. At the end of my day I look back and regret how I behaved, and I don't like what I see. This is where Step Ten becomes so important for my recovery. I look back over my day and can honestly see that most if not all of my difficulty has to do with my attitude and my behavior. I need to look back and admit my mistakes, I may even have some amends to make the next time I talk with the people with whom I have interacted throughout my day. I also need to look back and see what went wrong. If I am unwilling to learn from these days, I will likely repeat them. Here I have found that talking to my sponsor or someone else in the program is important. I need to bounce things off of someone else and do some reality testing. Do I take inventory at the end of my day?
Meditations for the Heart
Often times when my day is screwed up, I need to look at where I am in my spirituality. Have I behaved in a way that my Higher Power would want me to? Invariably the answer to this question is “No.” I may have gone through the motions of a morning meditation, but I never really made conscious contact with God, as I understand Him. Just going through the motions doesn't work for me. My day started off badly because I took things forgranted. I took my Higher Power forgranted. I just did not want to really take the time to ask for help or direction. I just mouthed the words. But God has a sense of humor. He looks at me and laughs at the mess I get myself into and says, "He'll be back." Then God waits silently for me to come back, and when I do he laughs and says, "Did it again, huh? Tried walking through the forest with a blindfold on, and you fell on your face. When are you going to learn?" Do I know where to turn when I get off track?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This morning let me not move too quickly and just take things forgranted. Slow me down and encourage me to open my ears to Your voice. Let me remember that You are my friend, and I need to treat my relationship with You as one who is my best friend. Be my guide this day, and grant me a willing heart to follow.
Amen.