More Recovery Readings - March

[bluidkiti]

March 23

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It feels so good to cry. . . . --Susan Cygnet
Some of us were taught that it's bad to express our feelings directly--crying, wailing, jumping up and down for joy--that it's good manners to talk softly, slowly, and politely and to sit still.
But what happens to our feelings when we sit still? If they don't get expressed, they must be caught inside our bodies. Trapped feelings are like birds in a cage, or a rabbit in a trap--they try to get out any way they can. They peck on our heads and give us headaches. They scratch at our stomachs and make us hurt.
We must let them out. We must laugh and cry. Then our bodies will be happy, and our feelings will curl up in our laps like happy puppies.
Am I ignoring the physical symptoms of trapped feelings?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If anything is sacred, the human body is sacred. --Walt Whitman
A renewed relationship with our bodies is part of our spiritual renewal. Perhaps we have not known our bodies as part of our spiritual selves. We may have treated ourselves and others as objects. Too often genitals were "tools" to be used, objects of our egos, or a way of taking care of someone else. Maybe we have used sex compulsively as an escape from other emotions. Men in recovery commonly encounter problems with sexuality. Those problems often come from knowing deep within that we must change, but not knowing how.
It helps to create new images in our minds. We can imagine a totally relaxed playfulness with our partners, with no goal in mind and no judgment. We can imagine our Higher Power being with us. We can imagine talking in detail with someone - our partner or a friend - about our feelings, anxieties, or frustrations with sex. We can imagine ourselves as a whole body, alone, not with a partner, and okay Bringing sexuality into the whole of our lives is a spiritual thing to do.
May I find ways to include sexuality in my spiritual awakening.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
On occasion I realize it's easier to say the serenity prayer and take that leap of faith than it is to continue doing what I'm doing. --S.H.
The pain of change is a reality. But so is the pain of no change--when change is called for. In spite of our desires, changing others will never be an option, whereas changing ourselves takes only a decision and is a choice always available.
We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? We can let go of that behavior and responsibly choose a new tack. If strength is needed, or confidence to try a new behavior, we can simply ask that it be ours. The Third Step promises that our lives are in God's care and our needs are always being attended to--not always our wants, but in every instance our needs.
Most of our struggles, today as in the past, are attached to persons and situations we are trying to forcibly control. How righteous our attitudes generally are! And so imposing is our behavior that we are met with resistance, painful resistance. Our recourse is now and always to "accept those things we cannot change, and willingly change that which we can." Our personal struggles will end when we are fully committed to the Serenity Prayer.
The wisdom "to know the difference" is mine today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Flack from Setting Boundaries
We need to know how far well go, and how far well allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere. --Beyond Codependency
When we own our power to take care of ourselves- -set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern - we may get flack from some people. That's okay. We don't have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.
We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.
People will react when we do things differently or take assertive action to nurture ourselves, particularly if our decision in some way affects them. Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway.
If people are used to us behaving in a certain way, they'll attempt to convince us to stay that way to avoid changing the system. If people are used to us saying yes all the time, they may start mumbling and murmuring when we say no. If people are used to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems, they may give us some flack when we stop. That's normal. We can learn to live with a little flack in the name of healthy self-care. Not abuse, mind you, Flack.
If people are used to controlling us through guilt, bullying, and badgering, they may intensify their efforts when we change and refuse to be controlled. That's okay. That's flack too.
We don't have to let flack pull us back into old ways if we've decided we want and need to change. We don't have to react to flack or give it much attention. It doesn't deserve it. It will die down.
Today, I will disregard any flack I receive for changing my behaviors or making other efforts to be myself.


Today, I no longer struggle to find my answers alone. I welcome and am open to positive and healthy support wherever I find it. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Comfort Yourself

I was driving through Montana, on my way to a town on the Flathead Indian Reservation. I was going there because an old hotel, opened in 1928, noted for its medicinal mineral waters had caught my attention. As I pulled off the highway and began the drive down the side roads, I felt an environmental ambiance I hadn’t experienced before.

The hills were huge mounds, covered with a soft-green, grassy moss. Not steep sharp mountains; comforting, rounded hills– one after another. A gentle energy emanated from them. It was more than love. More than kindness. I felt comforted, embraced, almost held by Mother Earth in her bosom. My body relaxed. My spirit soared. I felt warm. Cared for. Nurtured. Comforted.

Comfort is a place we can visit often, as often as we need to. Although certain places and objects help comfort us, it is really a place within each of us. Some of us may have thought that comfort was a waste of time, but now we know that there is tremendous power in comfort, the power to heal. We no longer have to deprive ourselves of comfort, of that warm feeling of being nurtured. We can visit it for ourselves; we can take others there with us.

What brings you comfort? What makes you feel safe, cozy, warm, loved? What places? What people? What events? Learn to comfort yourself. Learn to accept comfort, and learn to give it. Go to that special place of comfort whenever you need to. Stay as long as you wish. The healing power of comfort will make life better.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of the trappings

We call it keeping up with the Joneses. They buy a boat and we buy a bigger one. They get a new TV and we get a big screen. They start a business and we start planning our articles of incorporation and the first stock release. And while we’re so busy keeping up, we ignore our soul, the inner voice, that’s telling us that it really wants to teach children to read.

While it helps to identify with each other, we’re not the same. So why compare ourselves on the basis of material things?

Follow your own talent and heart. It may be that you are a talented public speaker, able to sway hundreds of people with your words. Or maybe you have the talent of friendship, and you’ve been sent to quietly, one-on-one, help those close to you walk their own path.

If you must compare yourself to something, compare your daily life to your ideals and dreams. Do they match? If those ideals and dreams bring great material wealth, that’s great. If they mean a life of quiet, anonymous service, that’s great,too. Yes, material goods can be fun. But they can also be a trap.

Are you walking a path with heart in your own life, regardless of what others have?

God, help me let go of the trappings. Teach me to walk my own path.

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Divergent Directions
Coping with People You Dislike

by Madisyn Taylor

When we are forced to deal with people we dislike, a great learning opportunity is being put forth to us.


As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike. Some simply rub us the wrong way while others strike us as deliberately unaware. We may judge others as too mean or abrasive for us to interact with them comfortably. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own. You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion. In such cases, you can ease your discomfort by showing your foe loving compassion while examining your feelings carefully.

The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance. Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life’s foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to your fear that specific qualities you see in them also exist within you. Their presence may force you to face internal issues you would rather not confront. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions. Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimize this individual’s impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.

Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those you dislike, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches us, through the experience, strength and hope of its fellowship, that the worst situation imaginable does not warrant a return to our addiction. No matter how bad a particular situation or set of circumstances, the return to our old ways for even a minute will assuredly make it worse. Am I Grateful for the sharing and caring of “The Program”

Today I Pray

May I insist that no stone can be heavy enough to rag me back down into the pool of my addiction. No burden, so disappointment, no blow to pride or loss of human love is worth the price of returning to my old way of life. When I harbor thoughts that life is “too much” for me, that no one should be expected to “take so much and still remains sane” or that I am “the fall guy,”{ let me listen for the tone of my complaints and remember that I have heard that whine before — before I concluded that I was powerless over the chemical and gave my will over to the will of God. Such wailing sets me up for getting high again. May God keep my ears alert to the tone of my own complaining.

Today I Will Remember

Hear my own complaints.

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One More Day

There the weary cease from troubling, and there the weary be at rest.
– Job 3:17

We never thought we would have to learn to live with constant weariness. Our notions of illness may have prepared us for pain, inconvenience, maybe even some negative emotions like anger, but we had no way of anticipating the unrelenting drain of illness. There is tremendous comfort just in knowing we are not alone, that ultimately there is a Power greater than ourselves to whom we can turn for comfort and strength.

We can’t always escape the physical weariness of illness, but we can regenerate our spirituality, which may have dissipated along with our good health.

I cannot control my illness, but I can have a hopeful attitude.