More Recovery Readings - March

[bluidkiti]

March 27

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We like someone because, we love someone although. --Henri de Montherlant
Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we're not feeling close to other family members--when it's hard even to like them--it seems as though we'll never come together again.
But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance.
No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love.
When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Man is in love
And loves what vanishes;
What more is there to say?
--W. B. Yeats
Throughout our lives we repeatedly make attachments and lose them. We are taken with the rich color of leaves in the fall, but we know that this beauty will soon be replaced with stark, empty branches. We give ourselves to caring for a baby, knowing someday this person will say good bye to make his or her own life. We lie close to our lover in a special moment, yet we know that this, too, will be limited by the years of our lives.
We want to defiantly say, "No! If I can't have permanence I'll take nothing at all!" Most of us have wished we could outmaneuver life with such a power play. The loss feels so painful we might think holding back our love will save us pain. But holding back brings a greater unhappiness. When we submit to it, life is generous in its kaleidoscope of forms. Each attachment, each loss, is followed by more rewards and attachments. Loss and death itself are part of life. There is peace in accepting and living fully in the cycle of seasons.
God, help me to engage with life fully and to accept change.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It takes time, love, and support to find peace with the restless one. --Deidra Sarault
Restlessness is born of frustration. Perhaps we want to move ahead with our lives more quickly. Does a job have us trapped? Do past troubles haunt us still? Maybe perfectionism tarnishes every attempt to achieve. We can learn from our restlessness, if we let it guide us to our inner reservoir of peace and spiritual support.
The search for serenity often takes us farther from it. We mistakenly think a different job or home or relationship will answer all our needs. But we find that our restlessness has accompanied us to our new surroundings. Peace has its home within. And prayer opens the door to it. In the stillness of our patience, we are privy to its blessing.
Restlessness indicates our distance from our higher power. It may be time for a change in our lives. Change is good; however, our relationship with God will vouchsafe any needed changes. Restlessness is self-centered and will only hamper the steps we may need to take.
Restlessness is a barometer that reveals my spiritual health. Perhaps prayer is called for today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
After Burn
How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.
This is common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.
We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They're a backlash. They're after burn. Let them burn out.
When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after burn. The after burn is what we allowed to control us all our life - shame and guilt.
Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn't okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn't okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn't okay.
Let it all burn off. We don't have to take after burn so seriously. We don't let the after burn convince us that we are wrong and don't have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.
Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?
You bet we do.
Today, I will let any after burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.


I am good enough...just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Resentments Hurt Everybody

Resentments only hurt ourselves. Not true. Resentments can hurt others,too.

When we brood and allow resentments to brew and fester, we send negative, mean, hurtful, spiteful energy to others. The more consciously and vividly we do this, the more pain we can cause everyone. The more bonded we are with others, whether they’re business associates, friends, lovers, or family members, the more powerfully our resentments can impact them as well as us.

So if you’re busy thinking resentful thoughts about someone close to you on the job or at home, consider the harm you are doing to him or her. The more powerful the emotions connected to these thoughts and the closer you are to the person, the more damage you can do. You can sabotage the other person, help keep him or her down. Even if you don’t speak your resentments aloud, even if you try to hide the way you feel, the energy is there in the air hurting both of you, just as we focus on clearing the air we breathe of toxins, we need to cleanse the air around us at work and at home from the toxic fumes of resentment.

Remember, when we harbor hate, jealousy, or rage, we connect to others in ways that hurt us all. Let’s set others free. Let’s release our resentments. Along the way, we’ll set ourselves and our hearts free,too.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Set yourself free

I’ll let go tomorrow; I’m having too much fun torturing myself today. No, that’s not really it. I’ll let go tomorrow; the things I’m holding on to need me to hold them today. Yes, that’s closer to what it is. I’m not enjoying myself at all today, but I have to keep holding on to my desires, my guilt, my limitations, and my worries. I am defined by them. And you want me to let go of them today? Sorry, maybe tomorrow. And so we hold on. And the ulcer grows. And the pain in our hearts from unfulfilled expectations keeps gnawing away at us. What we’re really putting off is the freedom we get from letting go.

Yes, I know that what you’re holding on to is important. Everything that I have ever had to let go of was important to me, too. If it wasn’t important, letting go wouldn’t be a struggle. We’d just put it down and walk away.

You’ve been given today. Will you use it or will you miss out on today’s wonder because you’re to preoccupied with holding on to things that are beyond your control?

God, help me let go,today.

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In God’s Care

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.
~~C.C. Lewis

In this hectic life, demands are constantly made on us–demands on our time, our attention, our skills. There are demands on all our resources, both spiritual and material. How can we meet all the demands? When we try, aren’t we in danger of spreading ourselves too thin and not being able to satisfy anybody, including ourselves?

We learn, though, both from God and from experience, that the secret of happiness is in giving. It is the heart and soul of our spiritual life. We are always happiest when we are giving–of ourselves, our possessions, our money, our time, our attention, our tolerance, our patience, our appreciation, and our love.

It is hard to give too much. The more we give of ourselves, the more we give to ourselves.

I will give as much as I can, and a little bit more.

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Doing for Others
Solace in Service

by Madisyn Taylor

So many times, when we are being of service to others, we find the answer or solution to our own problems.


When we feel bad, often our first instinct is to isolate ourselves and focus on what’s upsetting us. Sometimes we really do need some downtime, but many times the best way to get out of the blues quickly is to turn our attention to other people. In being of service to others, paradoxically, we often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems. We also end up feeling more connected to the people around us, as well as empowered by the experience of helping someone.

When we reach out to people we can help, we confirm that we are not alone in our own need for support and inspiration, and we also remind ourselves that we are powerful and capable in certain ways. Even as our own problems or moods get the better of us sometimes, there is always someone else who can use our particular gifts and energy to help them out. They, in turn, remind us that we are not the only people in the world with difficulties or issues. We all struggle with the problems of life, and we all feel overwhelmed from time to time, but we can almost always find solace in service.

In the most ideal situation, the person we are helping sheds light on our own dilemma, sometimes with a direct piece of advice, and sometimes without saying anything at all. Sometimes just the act of getting our minds out of the obsessive mode of trying to figure out what to do about our own life does the trick. Many great inventors and artists have found that the inspiration they need to get to the next level in their work comes not when they’re working but when they’re walking around the block or doing dishes. We do ourselves and everyone else a great service when we take a break from our sorrows and extend ourselves to someone in need. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Storing up grievances is not only a waste of time, but a waste of life that could be lived to greater satisfaction. If I keep a ledger of “oppressions and indignities,” I’m only restoring them to painful reality.

“The horror of that moment” the King said, “*I shall never, never forget.”
“You will though,” said the Queen, “if you don’t make a memorandum of it.”
(Lewis Carroll. Through The Looking Glass)

Am I keeping a secret storehouse for the wreckage of my past?

Today I Pray

God keep me from harboring the sludge from the past — grievances, annoyances, grudges, oppressions, wrongs, injustices, putdown,s slights, hurts. They will nag at me and consume my time in rehashing what I “might have said” or done until I face each one, name the emotion it produced in me, settle it a best I can — and forget it. May I empty my storehouse of old grievances.

Today I Will Remember

Don’t rattle old bones.

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One More Day

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
– Plautus

We are used to the quick fix. Candy bars hold back our hunger. Credit cards allow us to spend freely when we are financially strapped. We drive through the fast-food lanes and eat on the way to our next stop.

And when we were told about our illness, our reaction may have been, “Okay, Now how can it be fixed?” We were told that part of the treatment was time, a remedy requiring patience and one difficult to accept. We are learning to accept that the nature of our illness requires us to be patient. We can use this patience to slow the value of each passing minute. Our time becomes more and more precious as we understand that patience is a very good remedy.

Today I can begin to practice patience.