Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February

[bluidkiti]

February 5

Step by Step

Today, remembering my drinking days, I was my own judge, jury and executioner. In giving my all to whiskey, I judged myself to be unworthy of anything better, of feeling anything good. I deemed myself deserving all which active alcoholism inflicted on me – emptiness, loneliness, self-destruction, anger, selfishness, desperation, fear. And I executed the judgment that I should die as I lived – then. But a lifeline was thrown my way, and it led me to AA. Now, as a recovering alcoholic, I’ve surrendered the roles of judge, jury and executioner to the only authority that can impose judgment. And because I respect that authority, this day I will not play with my recovery by yielding it to anyone or anything. Today, I am worthy of more by the grace of God and AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TRUE SELVES

To thine own self be true….

~ Shakespeare ~

If we committed suicide within the early years of recovery, we would be killing a stranger. We look back over our hopes, dreams, and ambitions of a few years ago, and they share little or no resemblance with those we have today. When we look at the people in our lives today, we see not only that they’re different people—they are entirely different kinds of people.

The person who is emerging in our recovery is one we truly like. Where has this person been all our lives? We were too scared to reveal this self to the world. Our ego put it down and called it inadequate, ugly, and good-for-nothing.

Our Program has helped us put a lid on our egos and our true self is becoming a wonderful friend. We are no mistake; we are loved by our Higher Power and we are capable of wonderful things.

I do not have to live my life according to the demands of others. I do not have to change my identity to please anything or anyone. It is to myself that I shall be true.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

Sometimes, in our self-centeredness, we fall into a pit of self-pity. Most of us have enough pain and heartache to feed a lifetime of self-pity if we choose to. We all have had serious losses, stressful jobs, difficult family relationships, bad breaks, and unfair dealings with others. When we start to sink into excessive self- absorption and resentment or wallow in endless negativity, we may not even recognize what we are doing. The best way to climb out of this pit is to reach out to help others who have real needs.

We can volunteer at a school to help children learn to read, or visit people in nursing homes, or help clean up a riverbank, or help a disabled person buy groceries. When we focus too much on ourselves, we become narrow and negative, but when we bring help or relief to our community, we become connected and we have a purpose and a mission that expands our world.

Today I will reach out to others with a helpful hand.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Being quiet does not mean sacrificing productivity.

~ Jane Nelsen ~

To be quiet is to be focused. When we are focused, we are generally much more productive. But our inner dialogue often interrupts our focus. Mow seldom we manage to throw our entire being into the present moment. How much more we might accomplish if we could do this at will.

Learning to be quiet is not difficult, even though It doesn’t come naturally to most of us. We are used to racing around; it doesn’t occur to us that life can be experienced in another way. Once we grow accustomed to slowing down, quieting the clatter of our thoughts, we experience a sense of peace: the knowledge of the spirit within.

How lucky for us who share this recovery path that we have the tools we need to learn quietness. Practicing the suggestions in the Eleventh Step will change our lives.

I will relish the quiet today. What I need to do can be easily, accomplished with quiet focus.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can write down my thoughts and feelings

These days I’m afraid I’m not thinking clearly (although the medication I’m taking helps). I’m not remembering things all that well either. There’s much on my mind and I have many problems to deal with.

In my Step meeting, I noticed a friend carrying a daily journal. I asked him about it and he quickly recommended it. He says he uses his journal to write down his thoughts and feelings a few times each day. He says it helps him understand better what’s going on with him. Well, I’m no writer—and I’m not sure what I’d say in a journal—but I can see how such a tool might help me see things more clearly too. It’s worth a try.

I will take five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the evening to record some of my thoughts.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The point of power is always in the present.

~ Louise L. Hay ~

It’s taken a lifetime of living to arrive right here, right now. Everything we’ve done has prepared us for this moment. Yet in this complicated web of life we’ve spun, threaded through its millions of moments, lay the seeds of our addictions. In looking back we can see their growth, we can see the lines of stress and tension that run around and through.

Coming to this awareness is critical to our recovery. So too is forgiving ourselves for the past. But equally critical to our continued recovery is living in the present, making “one day at a time” more than a slogan. It isn’t easy.

It takes a lot of practice to pick ourselves up whenever we fall into thoughts of the past or the future. But doing so is a skill that can be learned, a skill that rewards us with time in all its fullness. To do what we’re doing when we’re doing it, to be nowhere else but here, now, is to avail ourselves of the power of the present. It is to live where God lives.

Today help me keep my life simple and full by living life one moment at a time.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

The optimist sees the light bulb as a device that provides valuable illumination. The pessimist sees the light bulb as impermanent and undependable—something that will go out at the most inopportune time. The difference between having an optimistic, positive attitude and a pessimistic, negative one is simple: optimism allows you to see the opportunity in any difficulty, while pessimism encourages you to see the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist can adjust responses to any situation; the pessimist cannot.

Do you see challenges as opportunities to experience something new and exciting, or do you see such things only in terms of their poor timing, the time and energy they will take to fix, or the cost?

Recovery teaches that it is how you view any given situation—with an optimistic, positive attitude or a defeatist, negative one—that determines whether you move forward with ease, or if you will resort to a familiar pat-tern of ineffective behavior. By becoming more aware of the habitual, and oftentimes negative, ways in which you view situations, you can learn to adjust your outlook. You can discover that responses that enable you to see the possibilities can bring about change for the better.

Today I will develop awareness of how I respond to situations so I can learn to be more optimistic.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You have to live on this twenty-four hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your mortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of highest urgency.

~ Arnold Bennett ~

We have twenty-four hours to accomplish all we need for mental, physical, and spiritual growth. Just because morning meditations have been read, the work or school day is completed, and the day is waning doesn’t mean growth time is over.

The first twelve hours of a day are usually spent housecleaning, raising children, working, running errands, and so on. By the time the activities have ended, we’re ready for the second twelve hours: contemplation, relaxation, communication with family and friends, socializing, eating dinner, going to a meeting, sleeping.

Our most effective use of each day means believing we can accomplish something. There is time to be grateful for each day’s experiences. There is time to build relationships with ourselves and others. Each day there is time to grow.

How can I use tomorrow to the best benefit?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Imitating

We don’t need to imitate anyone. If we ad-mire someone, we might aspire to her or his qualities (substance), but we needn’t imitate that person’s every gesture and word (style). A person’s talent is the sum of his or her experiences; we can’t simply adopt them. And we don’t need to! Our Higher Power will teach us what we have to offer.

We don’t know our capabilities—nor do others—until we have exhibited them. When we do what we are asked to do, to the best of our ability, we feel a moment of great joy and fulfillment. No matter how small the task, we are then right in the eyes of God.

Have I stopped imitating?

Higher Power, I pray for your presence in all areas of my life and your guidance in all I do.

I will practice being my best self today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

They are dead even while they are alive.

~ LAWRENCE KUSHNER ~

Newcomer

What exactly is a blackout? I can’t figure out whether I’ve had them or not.

Sponsor

The term “blackout” usually refers to a period of time when we acted under the influence of an addictive substance, but later couldn’t remember or account for what we did. Many recovering alcoholics, for example, whether their drinking was daily or periodic, speak of having had to make phone calls “the morning after” to find out what they said or did the previous night. Blacking out as a result of drinking is one of the warning signs of alcoholism; it can last a few minutes or several days. Some have found themselves in strange beds, or even in foreign countries, with no memory of how they got there. Some people have killed during blackouts.

We don’t have to be using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to experience the blackout phenomenon. Some of us use the term more loosely to name a state in which, demoralized or compelled by our addiction, we behaved as if we weren’t “all there”—took unnecessary sexual risks, for example, or spent money we didn’t have, lied, forgot commitments, or acted in other ways we were later ashamed of. We say of such moments, “I was in an emotional blackout” or “I behaved as if I were in a blackout.”

Today, I look at places my addiction took me without my full consent. I’m grateful for my ability to make conscious choices in recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Created in God’s image, with the breath of God in my nostrils, my body the Temple of the Holy Ghost, called by the Christ a child of God, surely, I could walk with angels if I could only live up to my heritage.

Man has fallen short of his goal mostly because he has not thought he could do it. He timidly denies his own divine origin; he fails to credit the existence of God in him.

He is like the man who wants to fly but not so high that he can’t keep one foot on the ground. His eyes are fixed on the skies but his feet are planted solidly on the earth.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Come out of the closet, you’ve been hung-up long enough.

2) Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it.

3) Anger: from grateful to hateful in a second.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Prayer for Tolerance

Higher Power, help me to know the most lovable quality I can possess is tolerance. It is the vision that enables me to see things from another’s viewpoint. It is the generosity that concedes to others the right to their own opinions and their own peculiarities. It is the bigness that enables me to let people be happy in their own way instead of my way.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHICH ART IN HEAVEN

Having clearly established the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Man, Jesus next goes on to enlarge upon the nature of God, and to describe the fundamental facts of existence. It is the nature of God to be in heaven, and of man to be on earth, because God is Cause, and man is manifestation. Here heaven stands for God or Cause, because in religious phraseology heaven is the term for the Presence of God. The word “earth” means manifestation, and man’s function is to manifest or express God, or Cause. In other words, God is the Infinite and Perfect Cause of all things; but Cause has to be expressed, and God expresses Himself by means of Man. Man’s destiny is to express God in all sorts of glorious and wonderful ways. To express means to press outwards, or to bring into sight that which already exists implicitly. Every feature of your life is really a manifestation or expression of something in your soul.

Since it is misunderstandings about the relationship of God and man that lead to all our difficulties, it is worth any amount of trouble to correctly understand that relationship. Trying to have manifestation without Cause is atheism and materialism, and we know where they lead. “Our Father which art in heaven.”

. . . as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them . . . (2 Corinthians 6:16)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Survivorship

I am not a body. I am free. I am still as God created me.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

At a seminar, I met a woman who had become entirely identified with being a survivor of sexual abuse. When she met others, she would introduce herself, “Hello, my name is Marge. I am a survivor of sexual abuse. ” Marge had gotten so involved with claiming this identity that she could not conceive of being more than this. While it’s important to acknowledge the pain and experience surrounding such a significant trauma, it’s also important to remember that there is more to us and our life than being a survivor.

Buddha offered the analogy of traveling across a river on a raft. Once you get to the other side of the waterway, you must leave the raft on the river. It will do you no good to hang the raft on your back and carry it up the mountain. Leave it where you got it, and continue on your journey unimpeded.

All identities serve us temporarily. It is important that we immerse our–selves in an experience as long as it serves us, but then we must grow beyond it. For any affiliation you can identify yourself with, there is a grander one available; we must let go of what we were…to become who we are. Whether you identify yourself as a recovering addict, a student, or even a child of God, there awaits a bigger room to live in.

Ultimately we are simply Spirit. Calling ourselves anything else may help us in the moment, but eventually we must return to what God created us to be.

Help me grow beyond all temporary identities to claim my true nature.

I am Spirit. I am whole.