Wisdom For Today - December

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December 23

Wisdom for Today
Forgiveness is a difficult spiritual concept; yet it is essential to understand this concept to grasp the full meaning behind Step Five. As a young boy I would attend church each Sunday with my family. I learned of religious practices such as confession and absolution, but I really did not understand this spiritual concept of forgiveness. So here I was years later cloaked in a heavy blanket of shame, walking into a meeting with a recovering pastor to talk about doing my Fifth Step. I was about to tell God all that I had done wrong. I would admit this to myself and to another human being. My heart raced, and I am sure I was sweating even though it was quite cold outside.
How was I to tell God that I had fallen short? How was I to look at this person I was meeting with in the eye? The thought of forgiveness never entered my mind. I walked into the office and felt much like I did when I had been sent to the principal’s office or when I stood before the judge. My breathing was heavy, and I stared at the floor. The church secretary told me it would a few minutes. I sat down, but wanted to run. This was when I remembered these words from the Bible, “Fear not.” Fear indeed was trying to take control in my life in that moment; and so I took a deep breath and said to my Higher Power, “Walk with me and give me strength.” Do I trust that God will indeed give me strength in my journey?
Meditations for the Heart
I wanted very much to be unburdened of that blanket of shame. I wanted to make the world a better place and happier, because I was in it. I wanted very much for the pain to go away, but I had no idea how to make this happen. But all this would change in the hours that followed; for I learned much about the role I had been playing as prosecutor, judge and jury in the coming hours. I would learn much about the concept of forgiveness – a forgiveness that was freely given to me by God and forgiveness I could grant myself. I would learn much about “not shutting the door on the past and not regretting the past.” I would learn about wiping the slate clean and getting a fresh start. I gained a new appreciation of the statement, “but for the grace of God.” Do I see that admitting my wrongs to God, myself and another human being is the place that forgiveness begins?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I need Your grace in my life. I know that I cannot earn this; for it a gift – a gift that You provide to me each day anew. It is a gift that indeed wipes the slate clean and gives me a new chance at life! Help me to accept this gift with a humble heart and to treasure what it means for me each and every day.
Amen.