Introduce Yourself

[schell81208]

Hi my name is Michele (call me Schell) I am an alcoholic and a and a...you know those many isms...which I love the word alcoholism....I am addicted to of course booze, drugs, food, shopping, overspending (borrowing from peter to pay off paul....my disease is one of a slow suicide, self destruction to the max...my story most likely matches all of yours...I have found my self in you all....I hide my face in my hands for many meetings...was i really powerless over alcohol and other things? Deep inside I knew I was...I came to that point where I could not live with or without alcohol...I drank all day...my day being determined by how much alcohol I could consume before work, during work and after work...what a way to live....as my obsession lifted through getting a sponsor who was dedicated to working me through the steps and reading the BB page by page, highlighting sentences as we read...amazing...things started making sense...God can do for us what we cannot do alone...but for me I had to go to meetings to be with others , and work the steps, do service work which got me out of self....didn't realize how darn screwed up my alcoholic thinking is....I found Bludikiti site by accident...have been coming here since I think february 2011? 2010? It doesn't matter all we need is two alcoholics and a BB! I have found that by keep coming back to meetings and here...I am growing...something I never thought I would even want to happen to me...I never wanted to grow up but as I am learning to be responsible and honest , the darkest days I have the opportunity to start over anything with an action , whether making a phone call, or meditating or praying or reading something....a change in a action...I don't simply re act in today....we are here for each other...and for that I am grateful! Peace, Schell