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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 12-21-2014, 03:48 AM   #16
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Sunday, December 21, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail.
—Adrienne Rich

It takes great courage to face ourselves - to look honestly and fearlessly at our behavior, especially if we have done and said things we are not proud of. We may have caused a lot of sadness in our own and others' lives. It's not easy to look at.

But let's remember, too, that what we do and say is not all of who we are. And let's also look at the treasures in ourselves - those things we have said and done that have brought great comfort, joy, and love into the lives of others.

Beneath the negative parts of ourselves, deep within us, is a kernel of good. Let's look for that as well, and water it so it can grow - so we can grow into the persons we are meant to be.

What is the best part of me, and how can I share it today?
How ironic is that? When I check in, I said I was going to do the NA reading and leave the rest, but my feet where paining too much to go to bed so continued posting.

I wasn't going to share, and yet I know, that when I am in pain, the best thing for me to do is to come on the site, read a new or an old post, share on what speaks to me or what share what I am lead to, especially if I feel it will help others.

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Old 12-22-2014, 05:01 AM   #17
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Monday, December 22, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We can't return, we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round in the circle game.
—Joni Mitchell

High in the mountains near Sun Valley, Idaho, is a small cabin. The cabin is always left open for hikers to rest and refresh themselves. There is food in the cabin and wood for a fire. Often, weary backpackers have arrived there, tired and thirsty, to find just the beverage or snack they needed to help them on their way. The cabin operates on a system of trust - if you use something in the cabin, you replace it with something else. Perhaps it is just the thing the next traveller needs to go on. It is a circle game.

We are all part of a big circle. If we give of ourselves or do a favor for someone, eventually - sometimes years later - someone will do something for us that will help us on our way. We do these little deeds without expecting to be rewarded, and we can accept others' little gifts without feeling forever in someone's debt. These unselfish acts, stored in our mountain cabin, stand ready for the next traveller.

What gift can I pass on to another today?
Read The Language of Letting Go when you read Today's Gift.

You need to let go of yesterday in order to live in today. It works for me.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:31 AM   #18
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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


There are no riches above a sound body, and no joy above the joy of the heart.
—Anonymous

Holidays are a wonderful and exciting time of year - a time to enjoy snowflakes falling, company coming, and presents. Sometimes we find ourselves concentrating solely on the wrapped presents and forgetting about the presents of the heart. With God's help, we can begin to notice such things as the hug from a brother or sister, the laugh of a grandparent or the hand-drawn card given to us by a friend. All of these wonderful presents and more are ours for the taking; we need only to see beyond the wrapped packages. It is then we will fully experience the joys of the heart.

How many gifts do I see around me right now?
What a kewl question!

My bed is there waiting for me to get into it! That was my first thought. My Christmas music is playing. White Christmas is the song and there is no snow, so I was able to be out and about today to do what I needed to get done. My computer is working, even though I can't use Google at the moment. I wasn't around last week or this week to meet up with John to see if it can be fixed. My God provides, things fall into place, my needs are met. Today so much of what I needed was on sale, and I came home feeling truly blessed.
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Old 12-24-2014, 02:41 AM   #19
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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

He is Father. Even more, God is Mother, who does not want to harm us.
—Pope John Paul I

God is many things to different people. Some call God "Father," others "Mother," still others "Higher Power," "Inner Light," "Deeper Self," and "Supreme Being."

It doesn't matter what name we use. No one name is ever fully adequate, and each of us has our own private way of trying to understand that which we can't ever understand fully. We give God names, which attempt to express what God means to us personally, what God does for us as individuals, and how we see ourselves in relation to God.

Could it also be true that other people can't be labelled and put into one box? Doing so limits them to one particular way of being understood, and it limits the ways we can get to know them. If we are all made in God's image, then we all deserve the freedom to be seen differently by different people.

How does God look to me today?
Looks pretty good from where I am sitting. God is as He reveals Himself to me in today. If I don't get a vision of Him, I get to see His Handiwork. Most times there aren't enough words to describe Him. He Lights up my world. He is the Light of my World. No matter what way you put it, I would be lost without Him.
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Old 12-25-2014, 11:46 AM   #20
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Thursday, December 25, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, Why did this happen to me? Unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.
—Philip S. Bernstein

All of us have reasons to be grateful. Usually, the word implies we have received something. We often think of gratitude as that warm feeling we get from someone else's generosity. We are particularly grateful when we get unexpected gifts from those who owe us nothing. Within a family, we expect such acts of love because we are close to one another.

But gratitude doesn't always come from being a receiver. Gratitude is warmest when it accompanies the joy of being able to give without expecting anything in return. We find it isn't enough to feel grateful. We have to express our gratitude by showing kindness and service to everyone around us.

Gratitude is the greatest of all heart-openers. When it enters the heart, love pours out. For every kindness we receive, gratitude inspires a hundred acts of giving.

How can I show my gratitude today?
By not just saying thank you, but by following with action. Like with a smile, with a deed, such as a hug, a helping hand, or a kind word or two. How about a compliment or a little praise for a job well done, or just a because, for no reason, they make people feel special.
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Old 12-26-2014, 01:29 AM   #21
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Friday, December 26, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


I take it that what all men are really after is some form of, perhaps only some formula of, peace.
—James Conrad

When snow drifts quietly down on a winter evening, the hush of nature brings a great sense of peace. Each of us has known times like this. Many of these times did not depend on conditions like snow, or soft music. When we are able to keep a quiet center within ourselves, we are truly in tune with the spirit. Peace of the heart comes from a Power greater than ourselves, and from the faith that all of us, and all that happens to us, are part of a great plan.

Just as the snow falls softly, without fear, without regard for whether it will land on a tree bough or in the street, we, too, can live our lives with peaceful acceptance of whatever comes along, knowing it comes to us naturally and from God.

Am I prepared to accept wherever I will land today?
Prepared to accept, not sure where it will be. I didn't expect to be where I was yesterday and that turned out alright. Thought I would be home and got to go and be with family for Christmas. Thought my son would be too sick to go anywhere.
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Old 12-27-2014, 04:58 AM   #22
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Saturday, December 27, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible except with time.
—Abraham Lincoln

Time may or may not heal all wounds. It depends on how we use the time. If we deny our sorrow, or runaway from it, or hope it will just go away by itself, we will be miserable. But if we turn and face it, and express our sadness in healthy ways, somehow we are transformed by the sorrow itself. While the loss is still there, it begins not to hurt so much.

We can express our sadness in many ways. Crying is probably the healthiest means of expressing grief. It's good to cry, even for men, because it releases tension and stress, and we find a little peace afterwards. It is true that tears are healing.

Getting angry and expressing our anger in appropriate, healthy ways also helps to heal wounds of loss, strange as it may seem. Yes, in time and with the courage to express our feelings, our wounds are indeed healed.

What is a healthy way to express my anger at a loss?
The best thing I can do in today, is to come to some kind of acceptance, knowing that I don't have to like it. I know that I have to express it and not internalize it like I did in the past. I still don't do tears well, even though I have over 20 years in recovery, but they do come. Sometimes after a meditation, I will sit and the tears just come down my face and they are unshed tears from my past.

I found that many things in today have hooks in past events that were not grieved properly at the time, so I have to get to the root cause and allow myself to heal thoroughly from the inside out, not just cover over the surface hurt. Scars are not just on the surface, they have many layers. The body has memories. I found it good not to give them any more, heal as I go.
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Old 12-28-2014, 02:44 AM   #23
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Sunday, December 28, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


I'll walk where my own nature would be leading - It vexes me to choose another guide.
—Emily Bronte

We journey across many intersections in our lives. Some may point in two directions, while others lead off in several. Our choice of direction can be difficult, especially when our friends choose a road we know to be dangerous. When this happens, we can choose to go our own way without them. If they begin to tease and taunt us about our decisions, may we remember that they are as scared as we were about their friends' reaction. We are not, after all, living for someone else. If we would be leaders, we can be assured that true leadership comes from following our own directions with confidence that it's right for us, not from fear of losing others' company.

We can let others live their own lives without us, if their direction is not for us. We can walk away with pride, satisfied in the knowledge that we refused to allow other people's fears change our decisions.

How have I gone my own way recently?
Well as it said in the Language of Letting Go, I don't panic, I know that if I apply Step Three to my life, my life is in my God's Care. There have been several people who have been put in my path and over the years we have parted ways for one reason or another. I think of my favourite piece of prose, "A Reason, a Season, a Life Time. Sometimes they are in our life to teach us what not to do, just as much as they are they are put in our life to show us a new life experience.
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Old 12-29-2014, 12:53 PM   #24
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Monday, December 29, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


The price of dishonesty is self-destruction.
—Rita Mae Brown

There once was a woman who told her husband what she thought he wanted to hear. She told him she was happy when she wasn't. She told him she liked his friends when she didn't. She tried to figure out what he wanted so she could do it for him. She felt hurt when he didn't do the same for her. She felt he should also try to read her mind and do what she wanted without her having to express it. She was scared to tell him how she really felt.

However, her pain and resentment grew so much she couldn't stand it any longer, so she told him her true feelings. He was so used to hearing her lies that he called her a liar when she told the truth. Now she knew how much she had hurt herself by trying to please him at the cost of her own honesty and needs.

Honesty is necessary for a good relationship with anyone. When we lie to ourselves, we cannot tell the truth to others. By being honest, we open our doors to others, we trust them with our true feelings, and they love us for who we really are.

Who can I tell how I really feel today?
Spend some time with ourselves. Learn to recognize what is our 'stuff' and what is that of our loved ones and what we tend to take on what is not ours. Many times I have done a meditation with my cards and I have drawn cards that have no meaning to me and I realize that someone has projected their stuff onto me and needs help or I am thinking of someone and taking on their stuff and focusing on them, instead of detaching and setting boundaries. It is one thing to be aware, but then we need to let go and let God.
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Old 12-30-2014, 03:44 AM   #25
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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


Telling the truth is a pretty hard thing.
—Thomas Wolfe

Lying can be like sailing choppy waters. The more we lie, the higher the waves get, and the harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone finding out is always with us.

If we ask God for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we can choose the calm waters' honesty and apply our creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead of covering up old mistakes.

How can I smooth my waters right now?
By not throwing stones, muddying the waters, and making waves. I think it is called minding my own business. My son mentioned detox today and made it known it was in his time, but the thought is there. All I can do is pray.
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Old 12-31-2014, 08:08 AM   #26
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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


Finish each day and be done with it. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Two of the most useless phrases in the English language are "what if" and "if only." We waste so much time and energy thinking about what we might have done and wishing we had acted or reacted differently. We imagine how things might have turned out "if only . . ."

All of us make mistakes. To go back and wonder and wish about our yesterdays prevents us from living fully today. Each day is a fresh chance; a new beginning. We can only squeeze what we can out of the moment and let the drops fall where they may. Some will evaporate and some will form rainbows.

Can I forget about yesterday and start a fresh new day?
That is why I like the slogan, "Each day is a new beginning." All I can do is try.

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