DAILY GRATITUDE - AN ACTION WORD

[MajestyJo]

This is from a few days ago, and it has been a big problem for me too. Not so much jealousy and envy on my part, but it being projected onto me.

It was funny, because I always thought I was ugly all of my life. My sponsor said, "Go home and look at yourself in the mirror and take a good look at yourself, you are a very attractive woman." So I called her bluff. I said, "Well I guess I am not too bad looking." She said, "Look at all the male friends you have in the program." I said, 'So what, I allow them to be themselves. Most of them call me mother, and they are friends they aren't attracted to me." She said, "B*ll Sh*te! Do you really think they hand around you because you are 'ugly' and it is your pleasant personality they want to be around?" I said, "i don't care, I don't want a boyfriend. I'm no interested in a boyfriend." She said,"That is why they come looking at you, everyone else is chasing them!" LOL After our little conversation, I did happen to notice when I stranger look at me twice when I was walking down the street. I started taking a little more care about how I dressed. I had a think about blue jeans, turtle necks, jackets, boots and a hat. I coloured my hair blonde and started to wear a little more make up and put on the earrings. Today, I seldom put on the make up and my hair is it's natural gray/white curls. I do notice when guys start to whistle or hum in the elevator or as they walk by. It gives me an attitude of gratitude that they still do this for someone who is 69 (now 72). It doesn't always happen, but on those days, that I care about how I look, it generally happens. Most times I can't be bothered, seldom wear earrings and make up. It is just too much bother. That could also be part of the depression I have been fighting.

These were in fact written in 2011 on another site.

Especially glad that I still get attention, it may be ego, so be it. Not going to accept any invitations, and even if it is an insult, it makes me feel good. I am grateful that when someone sees a woman who is pleasant not a used up old woman, because of her addiction.