Thoughts To Help You On Your Recovery Path

[dwmoeller]

I remember being asked, " List positive things about yourself" in the first week of my treatment. I broke down and cried because I could think of one positive thing. I've come a long ways from that day...I'm still a work in progress. I started to plant my garden and decorate my soul. I have to get in there and continually do some weeding in order for my garden to grow.

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for sharing, can so identify. I had a list of all negative things in my inventory and then my sponsor said, "Now go and balance it out by finding the positive things about yourself.

We are works in progress. I know that some days, I work my program a little better than I did the day before and then the next day, no so much.

[MajestyJo]

Fear is a big one. My whole life seemed to be fear based and I didn't know that I could do anything about it. Fearful of others, fear of others, fearful for myself, fear of myself, which ever way you looked at it, it kept me a prisoner of my own mind for many years. I didn't need steel bars, my fears and phobias kept me locked into a world that was very dark and at times there didn't seem to be much light.

I need to remember that fear and faith can't occupy the same space and that faith unlocks the door. There is a hymn call that and I remember the Blackwood Brothers singing it.

https://www.chess.com/blog/Evenstaro...he-door-lyrics

Through faith in the program, I learned to have faith in those who had gone before me and had found sobriety. Through them I found a new relationship with my God and with myself.

We can do what I can't do alone.

[MajestyJo]

Sixteen relapse symptoms to watch out for:

1. Exhaustion - Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty - Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience - I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right.

4. Argumentative - No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression - All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration - Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3.

7. Self-pity - Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. thingyiness - Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others - Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines - Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, AA contact, daily inventory, meetings - - to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals - May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic relapse.

13. Wanting too much - Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude - Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." - Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence - A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members.


-- Akron Intergroup News, December 1998

Had "One Day At A Time" put on the back of my medallion today. That is all I have, one day, just this 24 hours, and I have to give thanks for that day every night. Without you, there is no me.

[MajestyJo]

This is a disease of perception. Each day I ask my God for the inner knowing I need for each day. It is important that I am living in reality not as I would have it be.

Judge not, less you be judged. At the moment, I am watching Bill Gaither's Homecoming concert. I was thinking it was a new show, but have seen it once before. It doesn't matter if it is old or new, the story is always the same. It is especially good that it is about Gratitude.

For many years, I judged, compared and pulled apart ideas, concepts and people. Thanks to the program, I learned to identify, put back together and encourage others.

A post I made on another site in 2010.

In today, I get to record the Gaither Show. Didn't have the tools when I posted this.

It is good to do a reality check or pick up the phone and call your sponsor, spiritual adviser, or a good friend and they will do it for you.

I may be perceptive, but the key is the 'depth' of that perception. Am I only looking at the surface of things or am I going to my center and feeling with my heart, instead of glancing with my eyes.

[MajestyJo]

"It's impossible-I can't do it!" We have all said that at some time or another. Next time you are tempted to do so, remember the pendulum...that it was waiting to be fixed in place, and it began to calculate for how long it would be expected to tick-day and night-60 seconds in a minute, 60 seconds in the hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year. That amounted to millions of ticks! It would never be able to manage it, decided the pendulum.

"Do just one tick at a time," the clockmaker advised. "That's all that's expected of you."

So the pendulum began, just one tick at a time, and it is still ticking to this day. As the Chinese prover says, a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

- Francis Gay

We don't have to quit using for ever and ever, all we have to do is make a decision, just for today to stay clean.

One day at a time, I don't pick up.

Each day is a new beginning, all I have to do is to remember to take the first step.

I like this, it is one day at a time, often a minute at a time, and often a second at a time. No matter what, I can't pick up. It isn't just about my drug of choice, any drug can become a drug of choice if I don't apply the program and put that defense up about that first one.

I need to do the 1, 2, 3 Waltz every morning. I can't, God can, just for today, I choose to let Him.

[MajestyJo]

Relapse prevention the Alcoholics Anonymous way is proactive action....

One form of these strategies is The AA Six Pack, which says;

•Don’t Drink
•Go to meetings
•Ask for help
•Get a sponsor
•Join a home group
•Get active (in the program)

These are practiced so as to ensure immunity, an insurance policy against the first drink.

What ever you do my friend, "Don't Quit Before The Miracle Happens"...



Really like this. They say, this is a program of suggestions, but there are some darn well betters, or you will find yourself back out there wondering what happened. What brought you to the doors of recovery will take you back out if you don't deal with why you picked up and used in the first place.

[MajestyJo]

In Al-Anon, they have just one Think. Think before you open your mouth and question whether your words are honest, best left undsaid, and ask yourself, "How important is it?" In AA, it is Think, Think, Think. Give little thought to your past, don' project into the futute, and think in today. I like the slogan, "Hesitate and Meditate. Give thought to your day, ask for your God's Will for your day instead of taking your life back into your own hands.

[MajestyJo]

This is something that I have had to do and become very aware of, mainly meditation and prayer.

Back to basics for me are quite simple:

1) Ask for help in the morning, turn the day over to my HP.

2) Read my daily meditaitons, look at how they apply to my life in today.

3) Make plans for the day but don't put expectations on the outcome or myself.

4) Eat and drink healthy food for the body, mind and spirit.

5) Exercise the body, mind and spirit.

6) Connect with my sponsor and other members in recovery.

7) Go to a meeting.

8) Process my day and give thanks at night.

9) It is important to have a hobby, an outside interest. I use to play bridge but had to stop playing for several reasons, my tremon disorder, my medication didn't always allow me to be clear minded enough to concentrate (had to stop anything that I found to be mood altering even though it wasn't a narcotic. I am grateful I can go on line and talk recovery. I have always been an avid reader. I just had to learn to have balance. I could hide myself away and isolate from the world.

10) Do something that you enjoy and makes you laugh. It is could to exercise your mind and stimulate your body and spirit. I have to work on my emotional sobriety daily.

[MajestyJo]

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging..

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their
hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.

I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!


MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!

[MajestyJo]

Don't Complicate Things

The simple, clear answer for life's situations can be easily found in the heart. Don't limit its wisdom to just one or two areas, let it guide you through all of your life.

Are you struggling with finances? Feeling overwhelmed by taxes? Not certain what to do to help someone you love? Do you have a problem with a friend? Has a business relationship gotten sticky, maybe hopelessly adversarial? Are you at war with the person you love? Problems with children? Problems with parents? A landlord who just won't get the job done? All of these areas, and more, can be brought to your heart.

Do you need to find a new hobby? Are you stuck on a project? Do you need an idea, some creative inspiration? Do you need a new place to live, or a way to fix your current home? Take it all back to your heart.

Calm your mind. Let go. Get quiet. You don't have to know the plan. Just put out the question, then listen to your inner voice. It will guide you through any maze you've been lost in.

Don't complicate things or try to figure it all out. The answer is simple: look in your heart.

From Journey to the Heart

Originally posted on my site Soundness of Mind in December 2011, and yet the questions are still good in today.

It is a simple program that we tend to complicate. Don't use mind altering substances, no matter what. Even kite flying can be an addiction if we allow it to, instead of looking at it as a spiritual thing. It is a state of mind and I need to replace the physical with the spiritual.

I have problems and issues with my son who is in active addiction, although he has given me some hope, has started talking about going to detox.

I started back playing bridge and hope to keep playing in the future.

[MajestyJo]

Standing Alone



Standing alone, the darkness surrounds
Pain echoes inside me, thunderous sounds.
Beaten and battered, all alone so it seemed.
Where had my life gone, where were my dreams?
I'd lost all ambition, I'd lost so so much.
Solutions not working, no golden touch.
I wasn't like others, but where did I fit?
Would I be lonely, if I truly quit?
A point of surrender, the end of the road..
Who could I turn to lighten the load?
I opened my mouth, the words just came out...
Please help me find answers, solutions I doubt.
Yet there were the people, bright shiny and clean..
Their faces most smiling, their eyes had a gleen.
Why would they help me, what would they say?
They told me to follow, they'd show me the way.
One day at a time, one hour or less
That's all I'd need.. and I'd pass the test.
But why were they giving, so caring for me?
It struck me strangely, they told me I'd see.
As I followed suggestions, changes had come..
Keep working the steps, you're never done.
Yet as I recover, my life's been renewed..
The future looks brighter, no longer skewed.
The promises happen, the dreams will come true..
Now that I live them, I offer to you..
A chance to be happy, a chance to be free.
Together it's working other addicts and me.
Give it a chance, hold tight if you must
Recovery's out there, in that you can trust.
When days feel all crazy, and some of them do.
My answer's are found, with people like you.
It might be your first day, it might be 10 years
No matter duration, we share the same tears.
Yet together there's laughter... smiles once thought lost..
Miracles truly... for all that we've lived through, at such a high cost.
I step forward each morning, given new day.
Thank God and you, having shown me the way.

Written by: Tom R.
Racine, WI.

A beautiful remember when, so true.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Cutting Cords

Often we are bound in unhealthy ways to parents, husbands, wives, children, and friends. When dependency and manipulation are masked as love, it is difficult to cut the cords that bind us. By ourselves we are unable to break free.

Listening to other compulsive overeaters helps us to see our own situation and ourselves more objectively. Working the steps builds emotional and spiritual maturity. Abstaining from compulsive overeating gives us the perception we need to see unhealthy relationships for what they are. Our growing self-respect motivates us to make changes.

We ate because we were too weak to face our problems. Now that we see where we have been manipulated and where we have manipulated others, we need the strength to cut the cords of unhealthy dependency. This strength comes from our Higher Power. Since we recognize our complete dependency on Him, we are no longer weakened by pseudo dependencies on those close to us. We learn to relate to them positively, out of God's strength rather than our own weakness.

By Your power, may I cut the cords that bind me.

You may think, this is about food, this doesn't apply to me. Food is a drug.

This reading made me realize that I had cords connecting me to food, relationships and keeping busy so I didn't have to spend time with myself.

When we fill up with other things, we have no room for anything else. We become lethargic and dismiss everything else as unimportant. We ask ourselves, "How Important Is It?" Our answer is generally, "Nothing!" We hide behind our addiction, no matter what it may be.

[MajestyJo]

So many times, we miss out on life by not being there. We focus on the loved ones in our lives or on being busy, that we don't stop and be present in the moment.

We let moments pass us by. We are so busy 'doing' that moments slipped by and we think, "What was that?" We never have a clear picture of what is, because our minds are going in many directions all at once.

We think we have peace and serenity when in fact, it is a whirl-wind that is going so fast, no one emotions settles in and we are unaware.

If I don't feel, doesn't mean I have peace and serenity. It means I am shut off and shut down. When I shut off what I don't want to acknowledge, feel or confess, then I shut off the Light of the Spirit. God can't get in because we have closed ourselves off.

This is my life. This is my moment. I will be aware of my body, mnd and spirit. I will be open to experience life on life's terms.

Wrote this in 2010.

Need this very much in today as my son has been thinking and talking detox for most of the month, even this morning after he came here to get his stuff to go to work after being into 'something' yesterday afternoon and evening. He completely disregards the boundary I set year ago, if you have been using, don't come back here. I look at him and see his disease and it is hard to watch. He told me many years ago, look at me your son, not the addiction. I love him, but don't like or love his choices and actions.

[MajestyJo]

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Honesty without kindness is cruel and kindness without honesty is co-dependence.
It is important to be honest, with ourselves as well as with others. We need to stop beating ourselves up for not being able to do what we feel we need to do. Often we are people pleasing and want to do what we think others want us to do. I had to find my own truth. I had to call a spade a spade, but I didn't need to use it to bury myself in self-pity and low self-worth. I need to use it to build a strong foundation on which to build my program on.