Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

[bluidkiti]

October 18

Step by Step

Today, no waste of valuable time that should be spent on progressing in sobriety to fight an urge for “just one” drink. I already know the deception of “just one.” AA has armed us with the steps to dodge the bullet of temptation, and personal experience shows time and again the consequences if I give in. In the end, the temptation to drink “just one” is a simple choice, and that choice like any other has consequences – and I alone will be responsible to those consequences. They have taken too much from me already. Thus, the choice is simple: DON’T DRINK. Today, I don’t have time to deal with temptation or wondering if I can get away with “just one.” I can’t. More significantly, I don’t want to drink. Case closed. Today, I’ll focus my emotional energy on something more productive, like sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GRANDIOSITY

There are none too dumb for the Program, but many are too smart.

~ Anonymous ~

Most of us suffered from some degree of grandiosity. We had inflated egos, were self-centered, stubborn, impatient, head-strong, selfish, and pushy. We liked to think in terms of the "big picture." We liked big deals and big plans. We carried around a feeling that we knew everything, that we were God-like.

If we don't reduce our grandiosity in recovery, we are looking for trouble. When we act like big shots, we only submit to the Program, we don't surrender. We favor negative thinking, hold back from inventories and making amends, make little effort at finding a Higher Power, avoid prayer, neglect finding a sponsor, don't read, and are bored at most meetings.

Today, I'll remember that when I am a big shot and have grandiose thoughts, I don't listen, share, or get involved.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man’s powers point to God, but they cannot understand Him.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~

Our best strengths and greatest powers are signs of God. We have been in trouble because we over-estimated our power to control more than we could. Now, on this spiritual path, we have turned to God, “as we understood” God. This phrase may make us think we have to define what this Higher Power is in our lives. It can be helpful to think about, but we also do well to accept the limits of our words and our definitions.

Some guys say that they encounter God on a walk through the forest. Some have that experience in a church or temple. Some find God in every living creature. Most great spiritual traditions speak of God as being present everywhere and promise that we are never alone. The powerlessness we learn on this spiritual path includes the human impossibility to contain God in our understanding. To encounter God, we encounter a sense of awe that God exceeds all limits.

Today I am moved and filled with awe by the spirit of God.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The world has more depth in autumn. So, it seems, does my soul.

~ Jane Nakken ~

The earth prepares to rest when autumn comes. Trees shed their leaves, flowers drop their blooms, grass grows more slowly. This can be likened to our own periods of quiet contemplation when we outgrow old ideas and prepare for new direction in our life.

It’s good that we have resting periods. We can’t know where or how far we want to go if we haven’t taken time to measure how far we have come. The fall of the year is a good time to do another Fourth Step inventory.

What’s the point of repeated inventories? Sponsors tell us that growth is never ending and that we can direct it best if we clearly know where we are right now. The only certain way of knowing that is through careful assessment of who we are today. Let’s stop and rest and contemplate our journey. Then let’s plan for the next leg.

My quiet times will inspire my journey today. I will be prepared for a new direction if that feels right.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowly accepting my illnesses

Twelve months after my DUI and drug counseling, I still didn't believe I had a drug problem. It took a second DUI to convince me. Likewise, after several months of psychotherapy, I would not take my depression seriously. What finally changed my mind was crying uncontrollably and feeling suicidal.

Now that I have finally accepted both my addiction and emotional illness, I have an idea about what took me so long. And yet, maybe I took just as much time as I needed—just long enough to feel bad enough to be willing to change. I trust that I won’t have to wait so long in the future.

Today I will practice acceptance by allowing myself time to change.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

He that is humble, ever shall have God to be his guide.

~ John Bunyan ~

We all know someone who is truly humble — someone whose inner calm we can feel, someone whose material, emotional, or spiritual generosity we may not trust at first.

If the humility is authentic, it’s likely that person has moved through suffering in a way most of us have not. It isn’t that this person may have suffered more than we have but that he or she has moved through the pain — felt it, expressed it, and let go of it—rather than going around it, medicating it, denying it, or minimizing it.

We may wish to become people like this, yet we fear it. By their very being, humble people challenge us to be present in our lives, much as animals are. A cat is always fully itself, but we may be only 30 or 80 percent ourselves at any given time.

We cannot take lessons in humility. It is a quality that emerges in its own time during the course of our recovery. But as we become more authentic and more connected with ourselves, with others, and with God, humility follows.

Today help me be present with myself and so learn what it means to be humble.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.

~ Elie Wiesel ~

Hope is an essential part of healing and recovery. Without hope, you would not be able to envision a better future. Without hope, you would not be able to feel a connection and unity within the fellowship of recovery. And without hope, you would have no assurance that you can escape from the imprisonment of your addiction.

Hope thrives within a community of like-minded individuals. Hope is conveyed through the stories addicts tell. These stories all share a common theme: things got bad and things grew worse, leading to hopelessness and despair; but then things got better through the program, These are stories of hope and redemption that convey the power of belief in a better future.

Hope can be developed by giving to others. You convey hope by showing them they are not alone and that their suffering and pain can be alleviated. Hope is also developed through choosing to be around positive people. Their ability to view life from an uplifting perspective can help you see that your problems are not insurmountable.

Today I will breathe in hope from those around me and exhale any feelings of despair.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

We live in an age of instant coffee, one-minute managers, and same-day mail delivery. The speed of living seems to increase every year with improved methods of communication, travel, and manufacturing. Because of this we may feel our daily work in the program and the subtle changes in our behavior are not fast enough. How can we keep pace with the world if we're spending years on recovery?

It is the quality of a thing that is important. Instant coffee is a great convenience, but brewed coffee tastes better. Driving in the fast lane all the way to a destination will get us there faster, but we won't enjoy much of the scenery we pass through.

Life isn't a race won by the fastest. If we set a goal and don't attain it within the time frame we set, we do not fail, we readjust our schedule. Living to the fullest doesn't mean living in the fast lane. It means taking the scenic route, stopping often to appreciate the view, and sharing the ride.

I can slow down my pace and appreciate the road I travel by taking my time and meeting fellow travelers.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being moved by ideals

Our new life is deeply moved by powerful ideals. Many of our pursuits fall apart and then we must regroup, perhaps many times, before our goals become sound again. But we must remember to keep our ideals in mind. We learn from our setbacks and know that they indicate we are reaching for and moving toward a perfect program and ideal spirituality. There is no one among us who is perfectly clean and sober.

Working a good program requires no accolades, only high ideals. The speakers at our meetings are not saints or prophets but nameless people. They tell their stories and deliver their messages informally, yet better than if the event had been staged. Together our unknown names and our new lives emerge from the ruins, and we form a body of our Higher Power’s beautiful children.

Do my actions reflect the highest ideals?

Higher Power, when my ideals try my faith, let me know that nothing is too good to be true.

The ideal I will strive toward today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.

~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELYE TRADITIONS ~

Newcomer

In reading about the Tenth Step, I get confused when I see the words "we were wrong." That word "wrong" again! I'm working to honor my feelings and build my self-esteem. I've learned in this program that I'm not to blame for everything.

Sponsor

The spot-check inventory isn't intended as a stick to beat ourselves with, any more than Step Four was It's a practical way to help us evaluate what's going on in the course of our day, to recognize what we ourselves can do to re-establish emotional balance. It reminds us that we have some control over our responses. For example, suppose the check I've been waiting for doesn't come in today's mail. I may have some anger to discharge or a momentary fear that I won't be able to send out my rent check on time. I may need to take a few minutes to vent my feelings. The feelings pass, and I go on to other things. In the old days of active addiction, I blamed everyone I could think of from the postal service to the landlord, for the way I was feeling. I usually felt justified in picking up my drug of choice—that was one way that my rage at being frustrated could be quieted.

Step Ten reminds us not to get caught in the cycle of blaming others for the way we feel.

Today, I abstain from blaming. If I'm upset, I practice the "three A’s": awareness, acceptance, and action.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The life of the alcoholic is very similar to a jigsaw puzzle. In our days of drinking, the whole of life appeared as simply as a jumbled mass of unrelated pieces, impossible to unscramble.

In AA someone gave us the corner piece and from this we slowly and laboriously found one piece after another. Each piece that we fitted in made it easier to find the next piece.

First we found understanding, then hope, then determination, then sobriety, then unselfishness, then love, then faith and finally God.

All the pieces are in place finally, the picture makes sense and it is beautiful to behold.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Higher Power,
I will tell You the truth until I can tell others,
I will trust in You until I can trust in others,
I will pray for Your will and not my own,
I will not turn away from the addict who still suffers,
I will pray for mercy and not praise,
I will pray for humility and not righteousness,
I will continue to turn my life over to You
so I may be restored to greater sanity.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MENTAL DRUDGERY IS NOT PRAYER

Expect more from your prayers. The power of your prayer depends upon the amount of faith that you yourself have in it. To pray in the spirit that "even if this prayer does not do any good at least it cannot do any harm," is not, really, to pray at all.

Have enough faith in the love of God to believe that a short heartfelt prayer is just as good as a long one, Too long a session of prayer usually means that in your heart you really doubt the love of God, and think that a great deal of effort and toil will be necessary to move Him. Pray quietly and sincerely for a reasonable time—and then leave the matter, expecting success.

O Lord , thou art my God; I will exalt thee , I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth (Isaiah 25:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

As Much As the Valet

Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

We pulled up to the Beverly Hills Hotel behind a line of luxury cars. My partner Charley handed the valet a $5 tip, and we went in for breakfast. The menu, like many haut cuisine restaurants, had no prices printed. Charley placed his order and then asked the waiter, "How much would a side order of bacon cost?" "Five dollars," answered the man. Charley thought for a moment, and then answered, "I guess I'll pass."

After the waiter left, I could see that Charley really wanted the bacon. "Go ahead, get the bacon!" I encouraged him.

"You're right," he answered, and called the waiter to make the order. Then a stunned look washed over Charley's face as he told me, "I just realized something very profound: I thought nothing of giving the valet a $5 tip—that's just what is done here. But when it came to feeding myself some food I enjoy, I had a hard time doing it. I wasn't even loving myself as much as the car attendant. "

The next time you're faced with a choice about taking care of yourself, ask yourself, "Would I give this gift to another person if I could?" Most likely, you would feel very blessed and joyful to nurture someone in a way they would love. Then go ahead and bestow yourself with the same blessing. God rejoices just as much when you give to yourself as when you give to another.

It's not selfish to love or pamper yourself—it's a holy opportunity to celebrate what you truly deserve. Open your heart to yourself as much as you would to others, and you will find the meaning of true love.

Show me how to love myself as You love me.

I give myself all the good I can imagine.