Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

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October 30

Step by Step

“Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks – drinking which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of his recovery.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “The Doctor’s Opinion,” pp xxvi-vii.

Today, if I cannot forget “the effect” of alcohol as I grew progressively drunker, let me never forget the morning after with its consequences, none of which I care to be responsible for anymore. If I can remember the morning-after costs and that they were my “bottom,” may they be potent enough to remove any desire to drink again because, should I drink again, there likely will be no a deeper bottom – if I survive. I abused that “firm resolution” not to drink again when I was hung over, or standing in front of a judge with my latest DUI or after I broke every promise I’d made to family and friends. A “firm resolution” is so easy then. It can be just as easy if I apply it to being sober – if I remember the consequence instead of “the effect.” Today, I don’t need or want to remember the effect: the consequences are enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-CONFIDENCE

Alas, the fearful disbelief is disbelief in yourself.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

Self-confidence is an important lesson we learn in our recovery. Most of us start our Program with little confidence in ourselves. As we work the Steps, we begin to be confident that we can be whatever we choose to be, if we want success enough and if we keep on growing.

When we have no faith in ourselves, we have little chance of staying abstinent. Even the miracles of recovery cannot accomplish a better way of living if we don't believe they can. The more we share with fellow members, the greater will be our self-confidence that success is possible.

In order to have and maintain self-confidence, and feel good mentally and physically, we need to keep our heads screwed on straight with clear and rational thinking.

I can be whoever I make myself believe I can.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

~ Carl Jung ~

In our worst times, we have been irritable and difficult to live with. That is common among addicts and codependent people. And when we feel most irritable, we are least likely to look at ourselves. It is very useful now, in recovery, when someone irritates us, to ask what inside ourselves makes us so annoyed. We often find that the very thing that irritates us about someone else is the very quality in ourselves that we don’t want to face.

When another man’s whining bugs us, maybe it is our own capacity for whining that we reject. When someone’s self-absorption gets under our skin, maybe we are sensitive about our own self-centeredness. Some-times we find it easier to complain about a quality in others than to admit we are like that too.

Today I will use my feelings of irritation to guide me inward and know myself better.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is time to enter into knots of fear and watch them uncurl into waves of love.

~ G. Carol ~

The fear that hinders most of us is due to our obsession to control the behavior of others. This fear, coupled with our compulsion to manage outcomes that are clearly beyond our control, keeps us stuck in situations that we need to grow beyond.

We’re extremely fortunate to be part of this fellowship because we are surrounded by friends who understand our kind of fear and are willing to help us through scary times. We will have the opportunity to repay the favor many times over. We are all learning to handle fear and, thus, are discovering together that the risks we take in the company of one another prepare us for bigger challenges on our own. The empowerment that is guaranteed us will sustain our efforts as we take each new risk.

With the help of friends, I can feel my fears and keep them in perspective. I will be able to feel more love when I let the fears go.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need structure in my life

As my dual disorder got worse, my life came apart. Addiction changed my patterns of sleep; it even changed my priorities in life. With the depression that followed, I lost interest in taking care of myself. Eventually I lost most interest in my life.

But the daily routines of treatment helped. They showed me how putting structure back in to my life supports recovery. With the help of my counselors I worked out a recovery plan. Each day I set aside time to take care of my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs—my body, heart, and soul. Each day's plan is a little different, but all cover the basics I need to stay on track. I look forward to the benefits of structure.

I will follow my plan closely to stabilize my life and strengthen my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

My forgiveness may not mean anything to you, but it means everything to me.

~ Pat V. ~

Forgiveness of others is necessary to our wellbeing, too. If we don’t forgive, we are the ones who carry the pain, not those we resent. Our recovery program depends on our ability to let go of anger, resentment, and hurt. So our lives depend on being able to forgive others, even if it means nothing to them.

We’ve all known people who cling to old anger and old sorrow, hoarding pain the way a miser hoards gold. There are people in middle age who still willingly hate their parents for things that happened in childhood, who stubbornly refuse to try to forgive the past. These people are doomed to live in it.

Some of us fear forgiveness means opening ourselves up to pain again, or that it means we have to let them hurt us anew. That’s not true. We can forgive someone and still know they are dangerous to us or to our recovery. We can forgive someone and walk away, never to look back. But with forgiveness we let go of the anger, and with it the hurt. When we forgive, we are no longer victims.

Today help me let go of anger and resentment.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nothing sets a person up more than having something turn out just the way it’s supposed to be. . .

~ Claud Cockburn ~

Perhaps you know the story of the old man who saw hundreds of starfish littering a shoreline, exposed to sunshine by the low tide, and a child who was gently tossing the starfish—one by one—back into the water, “How can you possibly make a difference to these star-fish?” asked the man. “There are too many.”

The child looked at the starfish she was holding and said, “It makes a difference to this one.”

Another story, passed down from the Aztecs, provides a similar illustration of how one small effort can make a difference. A great fire raged in the forests that covered the earth. Terrified, people and animals began to flee. As an owl was winging out of harm’s way, it saw a tiny bird dart to a river, dip its beak into the water, and rush back toward the flames. There the bird opened its beak, released a few drops of water on the fire, and rushed back to the river.

“What are you doing?” cried the owl. The bird replied, “I am doing the best I can with what I have.” The owl then summoned all of the people and animals to the river. Together, they put out the fire.

Small favors and simple actions can bring about great change.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

One cannot step twice in the same river, for fresh waters are forever flowing around us.

~ Heraclitus~

Do we sometimes feel bored with our lives? Do we feel like we're doing the same things, following the same schedules, working to get out of the same rut we've been trying to change for a long time? Do we wish to make changes, but don't know where to start?

Imagine living in front of a wide, picturesque river. In the living room of the house is a spacious window that allows a magnificent view of the river. Every day we might see this same scene and believe it is never-changing. But in reality, it is ever-changing.

Each day we see with new eyes. And each day nature astounds us with newness and growth. That water we're watching flow by today isn't the same water we saw yesterday. A stick thrown into the water yesterday is far downstream today. We can see this river in two ways: stagnant or flowing. So too can we see our lives.

Tonight I can look at my life as if it were a river, always changing as it flows.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Following directions

At times we are so squirrelly nothing seems to make much sense. This is not an unusual predicament for people who abuse drugs. At times like these we’re better off following the advice of other recovering addicts, whether it seems to make sense or not.

We have proved that our judgment is not what it could be. We have nothing to lose by following directions from those who love us and have experienced our behaviors. When confused, we must decide to take our bodies to meetings. Our heads will follow.

Am I receptive to the healthy suggestions of others?

Higher Power, may I learn to turn to others for guidance when I know my own head is shot!

Today I will seek help from

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I used to trouble about what life was for. Now being alive seems sufficient reason.

~ JOANNA FIELD ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing, "This is a family disease," but I'm not sure I accept the idea that I've inherited it. I know people in this program whose parents and other close relatives don't have it.

Sponsor

Addiction doesn't have to affect every member of every generation of a family the same way to support the idea that it has a powerful effect on the family. Whether or not we believe that biology is where addiction starts, we can see that addictive behavior and coaddictive reactions are often learned in families. Whether a grandparent, parent, sibling, aunt, or cousin is dependent on a substance or compulsive behavior, his or her addiction has an impact on everyone else in the family system. The family is like a spiderweb: if we tug on any one part of it, the entire web vibrates.

We don't have to ask why we have this disease. Instead, we can concentrate on developing the habits of recovery. We accept that we must replace our old addictive habits with healthful ones.

Today, I focus on living in the present. Learning how to have a rich recovery is more important than wondering why I need this program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Each and every one of us have what we have only by the Grace of God. Even if we acquired all our possessions through our own industry and intelligence, still you must admit that you gave yourself none of these attributes that made your acquisition possible.

These were not necessarily inherited traits, for geniuses have had morons for children. You have what you have because God so willed it, so use them as God would will it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Security and Peace

As I have entered the Realm of Spirit,
after shaking the bondage of addiction
through the love, encouragement, deep concern,
and help from newfound friends,
I've begun to know what serenity feels like.
Peace of mind is new to me.
Serenity becomes refreshing and comfortable
as I realize I am free and able to make
sound choices for my life.
That climate encourages serenity and peace.
God, help me to grow toward maturity, serenity,
and peace of mind.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TAIL WAGS DOG

Man controls his own life. The Bible says that God has given him "dominion over all things," and this is true when he understands the Truth; and the Truth is that your outer conditions—your environment—are not cause; they are effect. You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You do not have faith because things are going well. They are going well because you have faith. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because your realization of the Truth had first fallen off.

The secret of life then is to control your mental states. To accept sickness, trouble, and failure as unavoidable, and perhaps inevitable, is folly, because it is this very acceptance by you that keeps these evils in existence. Man is not limited by his environment. He creates his environment by his beliefs and feelings. To suppose otherwise is like thinking that the tail can wag the dog.

If you have been thinking that outer conditions are stronger than you are, say to yourself: "Tail wags dog" and immediately reverse the belief.

. . . who didn’t hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? (Galatians 5:7).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Fast Forward

If it walks out of the refrigerator by itself, let it go.

~ Anonymous ~

A woman in a seminar confessed, “Everything I have to let go of, I leave claw marks on."

How do you respond when life asks you to let go of something you have valued? We are living in a time of incredibly rapid change. Many of us go through several marriages, careers, living situations, spiritual paths, and belief systems in a lifetime. We may feel guilty that we did not stay with one partner forever, or believe that there is something wrong with us because we change so much. But perhaps what you thought was wrong with you, is what is right with you. Perhaps in wisdom you chose to go through many experiences so you could master a host of lessons in one lifetime.

If you lived a hundred years ago, your life would have been more stable. You would have been married to one partner for a lifetime, lived in one town, practiced one profession, and attended one church. You would not have questioned the beliefs handed to you and them; you would have passed them on to your children. The lessons of life came more slowly, and so did personal growth. Now, never before in history have so many chosen to learn so much in such a short time. Rather than requiring an entire lifetime to learn from a marriage or profession, we may move through the lessons in a number of years.

When Barbara De Angelis, the well-known author who has written several books on relationships, was interviewed on a television news magazine show, the reporter rudely confronted her: “You've been married four times. How can you pass yourself off as a relationship expert when you're a four-time loser?"

Barbara responded coolly, "l don't see myself as a four-time loser; I consider myself a four-time learner. Although those marriages didn’t last, I gained valuable insights and strengths that helped me bring more depth and presence to the relationships that followed.”

If you feel like you're a loser because you've often changed relationships or jobs, re-identify yourself as a learner; if you’ve gained wisdom, the experience was a success.

Rather than criticize yourself, honor your courage for being willing to grow through rapid change.

Help me to bless my lessons as gifts.

I value every experience as a lesson on love. I am better for what I have learned.