Links

Join

Forums

Find Help

Recovery Readings

Spiritual Meditations

Chat

Contact


Go Back   Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums > Alcohol, Drugs and Other Addictions Recovery > Alcohol, Drugs and Other Addictions Recovery > Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts

Share This Forum!  
 
        

Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 02-27-2014, 03:12 AM   #1
MajestyJo
Super Moderator
 
MajestyJo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,085
Default People-Pleasers

Quote:
Thursday, February 27, 2014

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

People-Pleasers

Have you ever been around people-pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety- producing.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self-trust.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people-pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.

Help me, God, work through my fears and begin to please myself.
Lived my life through others, that old adage "If you are happy, I am happy," which is a load of crap. We set our own happiness aside in order to please others, and I don't know about anyone else, but I had a big load of resentment, anger, and hurt, because after all I had done for them, they didn't reciprocate.

I had to learn the difference between being selfish and self-centered and self care and self-worth.

I can identify with the fear, fearing they would leave, fear of saying no, fearing they didn't love me, and the list went on and on, not knowing that my people-pleasing was enabling instead of taking care of someone. I didn't have the power to change them, and I was as powerless over my own dis-ease as I was over theirs.
__________________

Love always,

Jo

I share because I care.


MajestyJo is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Post New ThreadReply  

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
People Are Precious bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 1 12-03-2013 12:53 AM
Old Barns and Old People MajestyJo Humor 0 11-08-2013 02:24 PM
Take Time to Get to Know People bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 11-06-2013 10:34 AM
Believe God over People bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 1 10-22-2013 11:52 AM
Be a blessing to those people around you bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 10-20-2013 11:13 AM


Click here to make a Donation

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:37 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.