If You Want What We Have

[bluidkiti]

"If You Want What We Have"
Sponsorship Meditations
by Joan Larkin

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I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention. Diane Sawyer

Newcomer
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I often sit in a meeting just looking at everyone’s shoes and trying to decide which ones I like. Or I may be sort of half listening while looking at what people are wearing or how their hair is cut, trying to figure out whether the same thing would look okay on me. I guess I sound pretty superficial.

Sponsor
Sometimes the intensity of recovery feels overwhelming. We drift, thinking there’s something wrong with the meeting or with us. Our thoughts are elsewhere, racing a mile a minute, or else we fall asleep. The problem isn’t that we’re easily bored or unwilling to concentrate. More likely, we’re trying to get some relief from feelings that are surfacing within us. A lot happens at meetings. Some people are sharing stories that remind us of our own, and some are sharing their experience of a new way of life that challenges beliefs and habits we’ve held for a long time. It sometimes feels like too much. The experience itself of sitting in a room with other people uses mental and emotional energy, and may raise anxieties for some of us. It takes getting used to. The good news is that in time we do find it easier to be fully present.

Today, I gently let go of concerns about my rate of progress, as I remain consistent about attending meeting and working the program.