If You Want What We Have

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"If You Want What We Have"
Sponsorship Meditations
by Joan Larkin

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Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much. Channing Pollock

Newcomer

I'm in a bind. Someone asked me to attend an event, and I said ye. I think I should be doing more than just going to meetings. Now that the date's almost here, I wish I'd said no; I don't really want to go. But I don't think I should let people down at the last minute any more---I did that too much when I was active in my addiction.

Sponsor

When I was new in recovery, I had a serious case of what we call "people pleasing." It's taken time to sort out my own needs and desires. I've found that I need to spend time with people and I also need time for solitude and rest. Chances to try new things are among the gifts of recovery, But I don't have to do everything that comes along. It still takes effort to plan ahead for activities I care about an to leave room for spontaneity.
Making choices that please and nurture us is healthy. If we need to, we can change our minds and our plans---it's not the same thing as picking up our addictions. We need to be clear about our motives, however. If we find that we're consistently waiting until the last minute, then backing out of commitments, perhaps we're letting fear make our decisions. And sometimes, it's just plain easier to go ahead and keep a commitment we're less than thrilled about. If we've made a mistake, it's not the end of the world; our mistakes are our teachers. Through trial and error, we eventually learn how to choose good company and make appropriate commitments.

Today, I'm showing up for my life.