If You Want What We Have

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"If You Want What We Have"
Sponsorship Meditations
by Joan Larkin

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You can look at the past---but don't stare. Francis Brady

Newcomer

From what I hear, many people don't write a Fourth Step inventory until a year or two after entering recovery. Some wait three, even four years. I've heard the expression "A Step a year." Should I wait?

Sponsor

In the early days of A.A., newcomers were guided through the Steps within a few days or weeks of getting sober. Many people were helped ot a new, sober life that way. Over time, a more gradual approach has proved just as affective for newcomers in AA and other Twelve Step programs.
Today, those who are committed to staying in recovery have a great deal of fellowship support available. We have a proliferation of programs, many models of long-term experience in recovery, and large numbers of meetings to choose from. With all this support, some may choose to postpone Steps Four through Twelve, yet still manage to stay sober---though "a Step a year," if taken literally, could be a prescription for endlessly postponing the joy of recovery. Honest self-examination is a necessary part of the process that leads to the waking up of our spirits. Why delay it?
For us, gentleness is essential in doing the Fourth Step. Our purpose is not self-punishment or humiliation. It's letting go of guilt and shame that led us to numb ourselves with addictive substances and behaviors. We can begin by keeping a Fourth Step file or index cards on which we list fears and resentments one or two at a time, as we remember them. Or we can use a gentle Step Four workbook. Because we trust that a Higher Power is part of our process, we don't have to put off Step Four or hurry through it.

Today, I look at my past with honesty and compassion.