Seven Deadly Sins

[MajestyJo]

TYPES OF ANGER

1) Anger as a part of the grieving process. (Grief - shock, emotional release, depression and loneliness, physical symptoms of distress, possible panic, a feeling of guilt about the loss, anger and resentment, resistance to returning to reality, hope, the affirmation of reality.) Grief can follow the loss of an important person in one's life, the termination of a relationship, or a stage in life, or the loss of a 'thing' that is importnat to one.

2) Projecting guilt outward in the form of 'blame'. i.e. People who feel short changed by life and blame others for their problems. These people won't admit that people don't get anything out of life without working for it - to admit this is to admit personal failure and to accept some of the blame for one's own failure. It is more comfortable to guard against self-blame (and guilt) by directing anger outward. That anger then becomes a defense and a way of life. To counter-act this habit adopt the philosophy, "if there is trouble, I allowed it to happen." Accept it, then do something about it.

3) Non-reactive people. The shrug 'so what' reaction by which the anger is repressed. To counter-act - own your anger.

4) Over reactive people who act out in fantasies of revenge and are afraid to let loose because their fantasies are so violent. Fantasies come as a result of holding anger back. If anger is dealt out in an acceptable way, there is no need to fantasize.

5) Swallowed anger. These people are unwilling to risk rejection. If they swallow their anger they tend to feel trapped, helpless and empty. When they do get angry, they often choose inappropriate targets and get out of control. ie.e. The childbeaters. These people need to learn how to expres their anger in an acceptable way.

6) Controlled anger. The controller looks for excuses for his/her feelings = he/she intellectualizes, rationalizes, projects, isolates. i. e. confuses real issues. He cannot say, "You hurt me and I am angry with you', for to be vulnerable is to be out of control. When a controller does get angry, he gets very angry. Controllers must learn, slowly, to express their feelings.

7) The user of physical symptoms. i.e. headache, backache, etc. to mask real feelings. Physical symptoms spare the person from being judged and rejected for being angry.