Today's Thought - January

[bluidkiti]

January 16

The first skill needed for the Inner Game is called "letting it happen." This means gradually building a trust in the innate ability of your body to learn and to perform.
--W. Timothy Gallwey

A strange and intriguing mystery confronts us in the Twelve Steps. We are mending our ways; we are becoming accountable; we are striving to do what is right, yet we are learning to let go. This seems like a contradiction of logic, but it leads us to a spiritual awakening.

We are becoming like the accomplished tennis player who has practiced diligently to develop every detail of his skill. Yet when he is playing the game, he cannot focus on control. He must get his ego out of the way and let himself go. It is in letting go that he rises to his highest level of fulfillment. Today we will do what we must. We can make the choices we are faced with. Then we allow ourselves to be carried along by our Higher Power to complete and fulfill the process.

I will look for opportunities to let it happen today.





You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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January 17

An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
--Orlando A. Battista

In our lives, we have always been drawn to extremes. If it isn't white, it must be black. If a little bit feels good, we take a lot. If we are going to do something, only perfection is good enough. So if we don't win, we lose, and if we can't do it perfectly, we feel like a failure.

In this program we learn to seek progress, not perfection. And we can only make progress by trial and error. We learn nothing if we don't try new things and sobriety the moment we decide to enter this program of recovery. When we surrender to our powerlessness over our addictions and codependency, we have to begin to learn how to live in a new way. It doesn't just happen all at once. So when we take our errors and our slips and agree to learn from them, we become stronger in our sobriety.

Today I accept my imperfection as a permanent condition, and I will keep coming back to the program of recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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January 18

Having boundaries doesn't complicate life; boundaries simplify life.
--Beyond Codependency

There is a positive aspect to boundary setting. We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like. But we also learn to identify what feels good.

When we are willing to take some risks and begin actively doing so, we will enhance the quality of our life.

What do we like? What feels good? What brings us pleasure? Whose company do we enjoy? What helps us to feel good in the morning? What's a real treat in our life? What are the small, daily activities that make us feel nurtured and cared for?

We have deprived ourselves too long. There is no need to do that anymore, no need. If it feels good, and the consequences are self-loving and not self-defeating, do it!

Today, I will do for myself those little things that make life more pleasurable. I will not deny myself healthy treats.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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January 19

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
-- Chinese proverb

Life holds so many choices now that we are sober. We'd like to go so many places. We'd like to see so many things. We have so much to do.

We are slowly learning how to trust our dreams and reach for them. Our program teaches us that we live One Day at a Time. We make progress by doing First Things First, Easy Does It.

Our dreams may seem very big and far away. We wonder if we'll ever get there. But our faith tells us to go for it. And we know how: One Step at a Time.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know this gentle truth that my life matters. Help me set goals that I can grow toward, one step at a time.

Action for the Day

Today I'll think about one of my goals. I will list ten little steps that will help me get there.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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January 20

All experience is an arch to build on.
-- Henry Brooks Adams

We can learn something from any experience, even one that is painful. In fact, we often learn more from painful experiences than from pleasant ones. When we say or do something foolish or hurtful that causes us embarrassment or guilt, pain gives us a reason to learn and behave differently next time. It may hurt to be arrested for drunk driving, but the pain of that experience may be the beginning of recovery for someone who is addicted.

We can't change the experiences we have, but we can learn from them. Our life is a gift that comes wrapped in what we experience each moment. When we accept this gift and open it willingly, no matter what the wrapping looks like, we put ourselves in a position to discover unexpected treasures. We live life to the fullest, and we learn who we are as we grow. In that way, all experience is positive in building our new lives.

Today let me learn something that will help me grow in wisdom and maturity.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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January 21

Perfection is expressing God's will enthusiastically.

Sponsors tell us that this is a simple program we are prone to complicate. Reflecting on our lives, we probably would agree. Because we doubt that God will tell us how to handle the circumstances facing us, we aggressively move ahead, making decisions that are often not in sync with God's will and certainly not in our long-term best interests. We complicate our lives unnecessarily.

Before we came into the Twelve Step program, most of us wanted to be perfect. We worked hard and oftentimes were overachievers because we needed the praises of others. Sadly, because we too often relied solely on ourselves, we missed the mark. Now we are learning to let God direct us. Each time we fulfill God's will, we'll experience the perfection and the praises we'd sought for so long. This is a much simpler way to live.

Today I will use the Third Step every time I have a question about my life.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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January 22

I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day.
--Albert Camus

It is easy to hope that at some time in the future we may redeem ourselves by some great act of heroism or undergo a dramatic conversion. But in the meantime all too often, it's business as usual. Too easily we can become used to our addictive behavior and deny that our acting-out hasn't harmed anyone . . .except ourselves and those we love and who love and trust us. Deep down we knew we were judging ourselves and being judged. Now, each day, we can assess our actions and evaluate our behavior. In this way we learn how our acting out has affected every part of our lives and our relationships.

It is time to change. The longer we wait, the more ingrained are our habits and ways of perceiving and deceiving. If we live a lie, we will be judged accordingly, by ourselves and those close to us. Our program teaches us that we can change and grow and move ahead into the openness and fullness of each new day.

I don't want to come to the end of my life wishing I had freed myself from my addiction. I am glad I have begun the process of change.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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January 23

A life without discipline is a life without joy.
-- Muriel B.

Wait a minute. Isn't joy a matter of doing what we want? Isn't freedom the state of never having to do what we don't want to do? And isn't discipline - which we learned from our parents - the burden of having to do what we don't want to do?

Actually, joy is the freedom to do what needs to be done. And gaining that freedom takes discipline. Why? Without discipline, we usually end up doing what is familiar to us. And our experience clearly tells us that old thinking and old behaviors bring us anything but joy.

It takes discipline to say no when we need to - when every fiber of our being may be urging us to give in again. It takes discipline to stand up and be counted when our pattern has been to fade into the wallpaper and blend in with any situation.

Discipline isn't easy or fun, but it's the best friend we can have. To practice self-discipline is to move through our days with a sure sense that we'll get where we're going.

Today I will remember that self-discipline is in myself.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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January 24

The elevator is broken; use the Steps.
--Anonymous

Elevators are easy. We push a button and we go right to the top. The way is fast, quick, and silent. We don't work up a sweat. We don't get out of breath. We can't trip and fall. There is not much time to communicate with anyone else along the way so we don't have to use any effort or thought. We can daydream as we face the front of the car and stare at the numbers as they change from floor to floor.

Our addictions were our elevators out of living. The chemical highs we experienced were just like an elevator ride. Until we crashed.

I will sometimes sweat, stumble, get out of breath in my climb, but I'll take the time to talk with and learn from others who are taking the Steps with me.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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January 25

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
--Albert Einstein

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don't wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships.

When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbor anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.

We're often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God's love for us as we are.

Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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January 26

Make yourself at home.

It was night, only a few months after I'd begun my skydiving adventure.One of the other skydivers was sitting in a lawn chair. The evening lights had been turned on and he was wrapped up in a sleeping bag, reading a book under the hazy glow. He was one of the full-time skydivers, who had been attracted to the gypsy lifestyle of the skydiving community as much as the sport itself.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm in my living room, reading a book," he replied. "Do you like the view of the backyard?" he asked, making a gesture toward the rolling hills that cascaded gently in the background. "Sometimes I take my sleeping bag and curl up under the stars in the landing area over there."

I looked around, almost envious of his freedom.

Sometimes, we get so busy and involved creating a home for ourselves that we create a structure that's too safe, limiting, and confined. We forget about our real home, the planet earth. It's good to sleep indoors. It's nice to make ourselves comfortable in our home. But don't let your cozy nest become a locked, confining box.

Stretch your arms. Push the lid off the box. Get out into the world. Walk around. Move about. See how connected everything is. See how connected you are, too, to all that is. Make yourself comfortable, wherever you are. Make yourself a home and be at home in the world.

God, help me relax and make myself at home in your bountiful world.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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January 27

Your Destiny

Watch your thoughts,

they become your words.

Watch your words,

they become your actions.

Watch your actions,

they become your character.

Watch your character,

it becomes your destiny.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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January 28

Agreement is usually not necessary.

Many of us have lived as if we always had to be right. We did not stop to notice that other things we cared about were being lost such as friends who got tired of our persistent need to be right, or children whose self-esteem was undermined when there was no room for their ideas, or a former mate who drifted away because we could relax only if we were proven right. In our differences there is much more to look at and far more to settle than who is right and who is wrong.

An intimate connection is simply communicating our differences to each other and understanding them. Agreement is usually not necessary. Our partnership gives us an opportunity to view the world intimately through someone else's eyes. Defeating our differences defeats our opportunities to learn. We need just exclaim, Oh that's another way to see it!

Our task is to learn how our partner sees the world. We grow because we gain a second outlook.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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January 29

No man is more cheated than the selfish man.
--Henry Ward Beecher

When we're selfish, we close off the channels of exchange with others. Not only are we grabbing and holding all the goods or attention we can get, but we are denying others the possibility of sharing with us in the benefits. We may be selfish in material goods, but there are many other ways too. Some of us expect our spouses to meet our needs while we make little effort to meet theirs. Some of us discover our selfishness as we drive, refusing to yield a position to another car or getting furious if we lose a place in heavy traffic.

By contrast, our generosity and welcoming responses nourish the spirit within us and create a good environment for our growth. Sometimes giving does not come easily We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with our ultimate vulnerability. All of life is fragile, and we need each other to have a good life. We can truly hold on to nothing but ourselves. Giving what we can of our time, our energy, and our goods, helps create the kind of world we want to live in.

Today, I will look for ways to be generous with those with whom I share this world.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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January 30

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.
--Thomas Fuller

In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. That distinction can be hard for many of us to recognize. When we finally see the reality clearly – that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force – new possibilities open up to us. When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes. We start to live at peace with the mountain. At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change.

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous